Chimp What would you most like to see an asteroid smack into? Our recent survey has turned up these earth shattering responses. Get it? Earth shattering... aww forget it.
Top and/or Bottom 100


(The page looks cooler if I put some small text right here)

1. Bill Gates' forehead. Repeatedly.
-Captain Pyro -

2. The Astrodome (ugly building + good irony)
-MikeBro -

3. Provided I could take out an overly generous insurance policy beforehand, I would love for an asteroid to hit a relative, not a close one (that would be sick), but maybe a fifth cousin or a 65-year old parent who hasn't planned ahead for retirement.
-huggy bear -

4. Ex-wife's car (which used to be MY car, dammit) -

5. My ex's face. Umm. I'm not /really/ bitter, honest ;)
-Mad_Brit ( -

6. The lawyer who represented the blood sucking woman I used to be married too!!
-same guy as before -

7. I want it to slam right into the new Titanic replica while on its maiden voyage so it will give all the teeny boppers another chance to masturbate over Leo.
-JimBobBill -

8. last weeks smurf questions.
-can i be anonymous again? -

9. A group of religious freaks who think its an alien spacecraft taking them to heaven!
-Sea4 -

10. The guys that stand on street corners sayin' "The End is Neigh"!!..Bloody idiots...
-Sealion -

11. Actually, a fellow Berkeley science student and I are planning on using nuclear weapons and laser beams to redirect the 1997XF-11 asteroid into Earth's orbit. We'll be splitting the asteroid into two pieces: a large piece which will hit France and a smaller one which will obliterate the horrible little city of Redlands, Ca.
-Tok Hohlraum -

12. Kenny, of course
-scagle -

13. What if it falls in the forest and no one's around?
-!beardor! -

14. Nebraska - It would provide much-needed interest in that state, while wiping out millions of rednecks!
-Iseult -


16. The moon so that it goes off its orbit and smashes into the Earth so we can just drive to the moon in our cars! ( Of course the moon crashing thing would probably kill all life on earth, but it would be really neat to watch, but very unrealistic )
-Sea4 -

17. I if it's an ice asteroid, I'd like it to smack into Leonardo DiCapprio!
-Johan -

18. I would like to have it land in the trunk of my car so it'll pop out the broken key that's stuck in the lock.
-Bwian's Bwother Bwad. -

19. My next-door neighbor's little dog that's always barking, barking, barking--two o'clock in the morning and it decides that the entire neighborhood has had enough sleep and off it goes: yap yap yap yap yap yap yap! God! If an asteroid flattened that little sCENSOREDt, I'd petition for some kind of monument to asteroidal greatness.
-JFrost -

20. Janet Reno would block it for us.
-Mad Anthony Wayne -

21. Geraldo Rivera
-Jerry Springer -

22. My house, so that I don't have to clean the bathroom when I move out. but then again, very little chance of me getting the security deposit back...oh well, I hate my roommates anyway. -

23. A trailer park, I mean if it's good enough for a tornado. Besides news crews could rehash old footage of people saying it sounded like a thousand freight trains.
-anonymous -

24. Well, my dick hasn't been getting much action lately.....
-HorNeYMaN -

25. Dancing Baby
-Mr. BioStat -

26. France
-I.P.Freely & Gruffudd Da Welshman & Dark Loner -

27. All the tolls on the NJ Turnpike
-Spooger -

28. The Pacific ocean. Those waves would be knarly!
-Mr. Fizzles & janeabeth -

29. That little pink bunny with the drum!
-becks -

30. I would like to see it carom off of West Los Angeles, destroying Santa Monica entirely, before obliterating Las Vegas, NV and showering the western half of the country with a hideous morass of ripped spandex, scorched flesh, and flattened silicon implants.
-Vehement Applegate -

31. Frank Sinatra's funeral party.
-Reverend Jough Approximately -

32. One of those giant Native American bugs traced in the dirt out west. Splat! Or: another asteroid that isn't paying attention and runs a red light.
-Randall, Dark Lord of the Smith -

33. My university's records dept. so I could tell everyone "sure, I passed with honors ....and payed my fees up completely."
-FaerieTessa -

34. Well, it could hardly miss Bill Clinton's libido, but I think I prefer that it real nail that damn annoying little Taco Bell dog.
-unanimous visitor-

35. The place where they make those little marshmallow sugar chicks that we all throw away every Easter (I think it's in Pennsylvania, so, anywhere nearby will be acceptable).
-Cig&Brew -

36. I'd like to see it get close to Atari's Corporate HQ, just to be blasted by a waiting spaceship. Wait! There's another! Blast it! Okay, whew... Ahh! Another! And a bunch over there! And those ones we shot already are being replaced with more, but smaller ones! Ack! Panic! Hyperspace!!!!
-First M. Last -

37. My school
-Jennifer -

38. explanation required
-<-: Dustin Adkins -

39. The Spice Girls...again, no explanation required
-<-: Dustin Adkins -

40. The Welch's grape juice kid. God, I hate that little bastard.
-Tok Hohlraum -

41. Redmond, WA, duh! Was that, like, a trick question or something?
-Surfer-anti-MS-pro-bicycle-lubricant dude. -

42. Bill Keane-The same man who has given us such unfunny sCENSOREDt as the popular (how did it become popular?) comic "The Family Circus"

43. Hollywood, and See all the STARS go FLYING through the air.
-smiley -

44. Tea Leoni, Elija Wood, Morgan Freeman, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, and Bruce Willis so we wouldn't have to see another bad damn asteroid crashing into Earth movie!
-@@@The Wonderful Tatum@@@ -

45. Hanson, believe me, it would help all mankind.
-GeniusGirl -

46. I'd like to see it smack into Bill Gates' house. Hopefully it would flatten it! (He'd Better be inside too!)
-The Man KY & Kristin & Paul Easter & Sowcow & MsNThrope1 & Rapunzel -

47. Newt Gingrich - In the middle of a big speech just when he says "If I'm lying may God strike me down."
-Hey You -

48. The next person who makes a reference to Jerry Maguire, Austin Powers, or the Titanic
-Eman -

49. A Spice Girls/Hanson concert.
-peaches -

50. The asteroid crater in Arizona to make a bigger hole.
-Ben -

51. My mom's ass, and flatten my father if there was enough time.
-name? I don't get it -

52. Pamela Lee's Hooters: two immovable objects, one irresistible force.
-Jason -

53. A huge truck full of the latest high tech weaponry. HA HA BOOOOOOOMMMM. Then if the asteroid didn't hit every other thing I would like to see hit the truck could finish it all. HA HA.
-Guido of " -

54. The World Congress of Door-to-door Religious Proselytizers. Alternately, the headquarters of the National Rifle Association.
-Charlene -

55. My bosses FAT head
-Shrinking Violet -

56. Jesse Helms, aw heck, almost any right-wing wacko! -

57. Rex Reed's House
-visitorette -

58. Michael Jackson's "fun" house
-Treestump -

59. This dork Nathan who I sort of work with....he is totally brain dead and we don't even know why he was would be no big loss to the gene pool and we'd have another free chair to rest our feet on!
-Stefalago! -

60. Somalia, and hopefully Sally Struthers! Or India's warheads, poetic justice!
-Lei Gong -

61. A dinner party and land right in the middle of the the table Ted Turner, Bill Gates, and Fidel Castro were sitting at.
-loserboy -

62. Those stupid smiley faces--> :)
-*Shanno* -

63. I know this is for the asteroid, But I have a stupid acronym: Delta= Don't Ever Leave The Airport
-*Shanno* -

64. A movie theater showing "Deep Impact"
--Roburt- -Kendo- -

65. My neighbors house.
-Vanessa & Angst Boy -

66. My woody.....just to see if it could stand up to the stress
-boson_q -

67. The OW website.
-S'mores -

68. Mr. McFeeley
-anonymous -

69. Hey! Another option for "Torture Castro!"
-Cig&Brew -

70. That girl in the third grade who wet her pants, she was dumb.
-Lucki -

71. Bill Gates' California mansion-o'-the-future.
-lady bug -

72. Your Mom.
-Your Mom -

73. Paul from the Diamond Center
-Two Piggies -

74. Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh swapping spit in a public restroom.
-Crash Override -

75. The person handling the bills at my phone-company.
-Lolo -

76. America On-line Headquarters
-Doug Nelson -

77. Spice Whores, er, Girls. Yeah, the Spice Girls.
-~The Spam Girl~ -

78. The next Hollywood studio to make a disaster movie.
-Doug M. Nelson -

79. Industrial Light and Magic Headquarters
-Chaos -

80. The Great Salt Lake, so we could see what a great belly-flop would look like.
-Jed -

81. John Elway's front teeth.
-Notsofast -

82. Cape Cod bay. Imagine the suffering among the obscenely wealthy
-Darkensmith -

83. A joint session of Congress with Bill Gates and all tobacco representatives present.
-Batfrog -

84. Right in the middle of Stone Hedge and we will finally find out its purpose

85. The Annual Global Chester Convention (Pedifiles, molesters, rapists, perverts) After it hits, build a memorial to all the victims they abused! A HUGE statue of a little girl and boy...before, when they were innocent and free of guilt! SICK SOB"S!
-Artist -

86. West Edmonton Mall (but we'd have to get the dolphins out first)
-julie -

87. The headquarters of Hanson's record company
-You don't need to know ( -

88. A planetarium (wouldn't THAT be ironic)
-*Jen* -

89. The gap between Lee Ann Rimes's front two teeth.
-Sarah Sweet Tits -

90. Right in-between the twin towers of pizza.
-Beckula -

91. Religious nuts praying for a sign as to what's wrong with our world...
-anonymous -

92. Hormel inc, the people who make spam. Wait... NO! THAT WOULD COVER THE EARTH IN A TOXIC PORKINE COATING!!!
-Mr. Mana -

93. Rube Goldberg,thanks to him I had to do an agonizing science project.
-GeniusGirl -

94. The rotten lawyer bastard who is representing my soon to be ex-husband!!!!!
-theresa the great -

95. Rita McNiel (though it would just bounce off....)
-Vanessa -

96. Hollywood Studios, .. oh sweet revenge!
-The AOL Frisbee -

97. That guy who stole my turntable.
-Chris - You know, from Pussy.... -

98. Nevada (except Reno and Las Vegas)
-Jeremy -

99. My ex-girlfriend.
-anonymous -

100. My ex boyfriend.
-guess... -