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Poll Results Archive: #24
It's interesting, it's topical, it's old. Welcome to the poll results archive!
-FEBRUARY 98-
Results: Naked Flintstone Shocker!
Fred Flintstone was the clear winner in the recent "Who would you like to see naked poll," pummeling runner-up Weird Al by nearly a 20% margin. "Fred is just one hell of a handsome man" remarked nobody in particular. Jockeying for third place were; "Ben & Jerry" with 39 votes and "Roseanne" (nearly the size of Ben & Jerry) with 33 votes. President Clinton did make a strong showing toward the end of the month, which may have been due to his thrilling and informative State of the Union Address, which I personally didn't see, but it's my understanding that he "blew" everybody away.
The final numbers: (36% Fred Flinstone) (17% Weird Al) (13% Ben & Jerry) (12% Roseanne) (10% President Clinton) (6% Siskel & Ebert) (5% Mel Tillis)
Results: "Loud Tie" and "Hyper Dog" Tie For First! What's the best way to lose weight? The January poll here at Ow! resulted in a tie between "Buy a large psycho dog that chases cars and take him for a walk five times a day" and "Forget trying to lose weight, just get a loud tie" each grabbing 85 votes. There was however some confusion with the "Eat Jenny Craig" selection (38 votes) and all we have to say about that is... you guys are a bunch of perverts. (Complete poll results below)
Results: How do you say "Super Size It" McDonald's, Burger King and other fast food places have different catch phrases for making your combo meal larger: "Super Size It" "Go Large" "Jumbo Size It" If you had your own fast food place, what would you call upgrading your meals? The response was terrific not to mention somewhat unnerving, and here's a few of Spanky and Sparky's top selections. (The complete list can be found at the bottom of this page)
Sparky & Spanky's Favorites:
Pretend I'm Dying Tomorrow Size It.
Get your big ass dinner here.
Make it bigger, make it more, instead of three fries, you get four!!!!
I am a big, fat pig! (It would be fun to get customers to say THAT!)
How much can we cram in your sack today?
More food that sucks for your bucks.
Smaller-size it! (ya know, reverse psychology and all)
Heart Attack It.
Most short, meaningful and rude suggestions:
BLOW it up!
Stuff Me.
Up Yours.
Eat this.
Hit ME!!!
The double entendre winners:
Would you like that Blown?
Well endow it.
Slip me a big'un.
You want it big and hot?
A Mighty Mouthful of Meat.
Larger, Harder, Faster.
Make It Big, Bitch.
Best long winded suggestions:
The "Get a bigger ass, increase probability of heart attack, who cares about my life I would rather stuff this big ass burger down my throat, cheap ass" meal.
Go on, be suckered in by our slick advertising, even though the crappy post-mix soft-drink you are slurping is worth 1cent a gallon and the burger is synthetic. You will SAVE.
The "We're starving to death" section:
Gimme it in a trough.
Give me the BIG MoFo size!
Big-honkin' size it!
Just make the damn thing bigger, alright!!
Me Want Big Food!
Best animal references:
I'm a pig, so make it big!
MAKE MINE HORSEMEAT YOU HANDSOME STUD!
The "Oh, I give up" section:
Well, you really can't say anything, 'cause you know they're going to screw up your order anyway.
Eat me! elvis shortliver burgers!!
Most confused submission:
Pig-out-size, I mean pigs outside, I mean ...nevermind.
The final December/January 98 poll numbers.
First Question:
Who would you rather see naked?
98 said: Fred Flinstone
47 said: Weird Al
39 said: Ben & Jerry
33 said: Roseanne
28 said: President Clinton
15 said: Siskel & Ebert
13 said: Mel Tillis
Second Question:
What's the best way to lose weight?
85 said: Forget trying to lose weight, just get a loud tie.
85 said: Buy a large psycho dog that chases cars and take him
for a walk five times a day.
53 said: Move to Ethiopia.
38 said: Eat Jenny Craig.
9 said: Get some Richard Simmons tapes, and juggle them.
9 said: Join Jenny Craig.
Deep Question:
Question courtesy of *Fish*
McDonald's, Burger King and other fast food places have different catch phrases for making your combo meal larger: "Super Size It", "Go Large", "Jumbo Size It." If you had your own fast food place, what would you call upgrading your meals?
36 said: My religion forbids me from answering this question.
237 Visitors sent in the following replacements for "Super Size It!"
12 inch specials.
A Mighty Mouthful of Meat.
Add a slab of cheese to the burger, more ice in the drink, and more salt on the fries and charge me two bucks more-it.
Add Another Inch to My Hips.
Add Two More Pounds to My Hips.
Beat THIS Meat, Babeeee!
Beef Cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Big-honkin' size it!
Big bertha me.
Big Burp Extravaganza.
Big For The Pig In You.
Big Huge Hairy Scary Combo Meals.
Big me!
Big Moma.
Big. Really big. So freakin' big you're liable to choke if you even *try* to bite it.
Bigaroni!
Bigger IS Better
Bigger Is Better(alhoua a luoha)
Bigger Than Your Ass Size!
Bigger.
Biggersize it.
Biggey size it
Bill Gates it.
Blimp Me!
Bloat it up!
Bloat me!
BLOW it up!
BOOYAKA BABY.
Bucket o' Lard.
Buff Up.
Buy TWO!
By Golly that's Big.
Can't Resist It..
Cholesterol choice.
Clinch Your Chance Of A Heart Attack Today.
Clinton's sex life.
Clog My Arteries.
Come get your big ass dinner.
Dietary Upgrade.
Do you want fries with your cow?
Doggon it make it a double!
Doodie-head size it
Double My Fat Intake Please.
Double Ultra Size it.
Eat even more junk.
Eat me! elvis shortliver burgers!!
Eat this.
Eat Yourself To An Early Death.
Elvis Shortliver-size it.
Embiggen.
Enlarge it.
Enlarge Me!!
Enlarge THIS.
Enough to choke a horse!
Erect inside IT...
Erected food!
Expand me.
Expansive emphasizing.
Extend it.
Extra cholesterol for more cash.
Extra Fat Please!!!
Extra Large.
Ezting lzrge.
FCENSOREDk p the price you wre planning on paying?
Fat it up.
FAT size it.
Fatten Me Up!
Fatten me.., er..., it, up.
Food, more Food!
FOOK SizeIt!
Forrest Gump Me!
Get a jolly lot more food!
Get fatter package.
Get Fatter with It!!
Get more.
Get more crap!
Get your big ass dinner here.
Gianet fCENSOREDing dCENSOREDk size.
Gimme a big on.
Gimme a coronary.
Gimme it in a trough.
Gimme lots.
Gimme Some More for a Quarter.
Gimmee more lard than is environmentally advisible.
Give it some steroids.
Give me a large, dammit.
GIVE ME MORE!!!!!!!
Give me the BIG MoFo size!
Give me the Full Monty.
Give us More Money, We Give you Less Food!
Go Burley Dude.
Go on, be suckered in by our slick advertising, even though the crappy post-mix soft-drink you are slurping is worth 1cent a gallon and the burger is synthetic. You will SAVE.
Grab the grub.
GROW!
Happy Size It.
Have some more potatoes-and-fat!!!
Heart Attack It.
Hit ME!!!
How much can we cram in your sack today?
HUMONGIZING IT.
Humongo big it up.
Humungosize it.
I am a big, fat pig! (It would be fun to get customers to say THAT!)
I eat chicken slowly. Mmmmm, chicken. On a cold day like today, don't mind if i do!
I'm-a-fatass-give-me-more-food.
I'm a pig, so make it big!
Increase the cholestral and fats so that I am able to suffer a major coranary event and perish before I really should.
Increase the ratio of saturated fats to empy calories please.
Inflate it.
Invert it.
It's really big.
Inflate it.
It's SOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO BIG!!!
Just buy our damn meat!
Just Due It!!
Just Eat It.
Just make the damn thing bigger, alright!!
Just say GAG ME!
Largen it.
Let 'er rip Johnny!
Limbaugh it.
Make it a biggety biggety bizatch!
Make it a fat fest.
Make it a fatty!
Make it a large load.
Make it big.
Make it already bigger than it needs to be.
Make it big to make me big.
Make it big, Baby!
Make It Big, Bitch.
Make it Bigger.
Make it bigger, make it more, instead of three fries, you get four!!!!
Make it crap-o-licious!
Make it Goddamn bigger!!!!!
Make It Grrrow!
Me Want Big Food!
Larger, Harder, Faster.
MAKE IT HEAFTY!
Make it honkin'.
Make it Humungo.
Make it large Dude.
MAKE IT LIKE ME!!!
Make It MONGO!
Make it the size of my PENIS!
Make me tremble with nausea, please.
Make mine a DD.
Make Mine Extra Greasy!
MAKE MINE HORSEMEAT YOU HANDSOME STUD!
Marky-Mark Whalburg it!
Mastadon Makeovers.
Mega deal.
Mega super dooper size.
Mo bigger.
Mo' food.
Momma of them all.
More.
More artery choking fat please.
More food that sucks for your bucks.
More Gruel Please.
Need an oil change.
NO, I mean REALLY EAT!
No, make that two please.
Now With Two Scoops of SCENSOREDt.
ObeseMeal.
Obesify it.
Ohhh, wow, is that really 9?
Oinker size.
Oooo, more grease please.
Open Your Face Wider!!!
Over-Price it!
Pamela Anderson it.
Pass the Maalox.
Pay-$.39 -more -and -make -your -drink -get -almost -one -cm -bigger -and/or -add -four -fries -to -your -order -deal!
Pay for extra cardboard/styrofoam packaging.
Pay Surprisingly More For Shockingly Less.
Pig-out-size, I mean pigs outside, I mean ...nevermind.
Pig out.
Pig It Up.
Pretend I'm Dying Tomorrow Size It.
Pump it up, baby.
Pushing up your calorie intake.
Quantity...not quality.
Raise the fat content by 2, Please.
Reverse-Downsize-It!
Size doesn't matter, stick with what you got.
Slag it.
Slip me a big'un.
Slob it up!!
Smaller-size it! (ya know, reverse psychology and all)
Spill Some More Food On My Order.
Sploosh it.
Stuff Me.
Suck Up Some More Grease.
Sumo Size it.
Super-Excellent size it!
Super Cellululite It.
Super duper deal.
Super Fat!
Super Grease Bag It!
Super Size This!
Super Size!
Supersize THIS.
SWELL!
Switching to version 2.0.
The "get a bigger ass, increase probability of heart attack, who cares aobut m life I would rather stuff this big ass burger down my throat, cheap ass" meal.
The "Heart attack on a Stick"
The Artery Clogger Super Meal Deal.
The BIG combo - 20% food, 80% LARD.
The biggest fCENSOREDing things you've seen this side of Kansas.
The huge gargantuan collosus size thingy (add 15.32)
The MR12INCH Special.
The pretend like you are giving me more food, while you actually aren't, and just charging me more super duper meal.
The Raven-Size Meal (for when you're RAVENously hungry)
The Rebel Yell: More, More, More.
The Shadow Knows.
This-thing-u'r-gonna -it-will-make -u-fat-&-we -all-know-it.
Throw In Some more Oil.
To hell with it all, go nuts!
Totalizing.
Tub O Lard It.
Up Yours.
Upgrade it.
Upgrade this!
Upgrade to Burgers 95.
Want even more fries with that?
Want more?
We can make it "swell" for just $2
We Know Where You Live.
Well endow it.
Well, you really can't say anything, 'cause you know they're going to screw up your order anyway.
What the hell, do I look like I need a diet?
Whopper Size It.
Would that be the one with the onion printed on it?
Would you like an extra slab of cow on your burger?
Would you like me to print it on two sheets of paper?
Would you like that Blown?
Would you like that regular or a whole sh-t load.
Would you like the "Exceptional Large" version on that meal?
Would you like the Rita Macneil upgrade?
Would you like to get Super Chubby??
Wow.
You cheap bastard, just make it bigger already.
You want it big and hot?
You're getting sleepy...
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