Poll Results Archive: #11

December/January 96
Results: Microsoft's New Name
In an effort to help Microsoft Corporation regain some of it's former glory (and just to make everyone forget who the hell they are) the most recent poll at wwwVOice asked voters to suggest a new name for this software colossus. The following list is not necessarily the views of the wwwVOice website, or any of it's writers. (except for maybe the really funny ones)
Most Popular Suggestion
MacroHard
Top Ten wwwVOice Favorites
Monopoly
Micro$soft
WorldDominationSoft, Inc.
WankWare
Heep of Electronic Dung
My Crows Off
Turbocrash 97
Gates of Hell
Billy's Personal Market Monopoly Maker
Technology by Atilla
Most To-The-Point
I want to take over the world Inc.
Most Evil
"Microsoft" brings to mind a small, limp penis.
Longest Suggestion
Uurshivolumpiquetsnobongoforacious Dobrificatory Wyrtlefindlemips Co.
Strangest
微軟
Best Anagram
Sircrofmic
Stupidest
Chesse Grater
Most Gentle
God Inc.
Foreign Favorite
Wouldn't "Komintern" suit?

Results: How Often Does Your Computer Crash? The December Poll at wwwVOice has concluded that a large percent of the visitors have computers that never crash. These liars.. er.. polltakers comprised 24% of the votes. 19% said they crash as soon as they turn their computer on. Boy, we thought a lot more people than that were running Windows 95.

Results: Do You Like Cheese On Your Hamburger?After throwing out all the votes for "I thought these questions were supposed to be less stupid" the final results for this most exciting of polls indicate that, 74% of the polltakers enjoy cheese on their hamburgers. These results should really help to work out the meat-to-bun-to-cheese ratio at your next barbecue. Lets see, 10 hot-dogs to a pack, 8 buns, 24 slices of cheese, hmm... 8 times 10, carry the 4, and uh....

The final December/January poll results.

Question: 12/22/96
How often does your computer crash?
29 said: Never.
29 said: Once a week.
26 said: Once a day.
13 said: Once an hour.
23 said: Once I turn it on.

Question: 12/22/96
Do you like cheese on you hamburger?
54 said: Yes.
23 said: No.
17 said: No but I like a hamburger on my cheese sandwich.
25 said: Hey, I thought these questions were supposed to be less stupid?

Deep Question: 12/22/96
If Microsoft was looking for a new name, what would you suggest?
15 Visitors said: Duh, I can't think of one.
105 Visitors suggested that Microsoft could call itself:

Monopoly WorldDominationSoft, Inc. micro-pain The Fourth Reich LawyerSoft turbocrash 97 Macrosoft MacroHard Micro$soft W.W.W.W.W.W.W. Inc. Macrosaps Hieronymus Fred crap MongoSoft big and hard gateway Bill Gatemporium AT&T ripoff.com! monoplesoft GATES AND CO. Macropuke 微軟 Heep of Electronic Dung Microbrain god SuckWare microbluff Westinghouse Worlddomination inc. Chesse Grater Microslop Computers R' Us, Inc. MegaMouth Megahard MIcrotough Infobards Microsophet micromax Microsquat Bill Gates is a waste of sperm Worldwide Software Assimilation MacroCushie Apple Crunsher Borg Grubby Basterds Jabberwacky Wars

MS World Conglomerate WankWare Micro$oft borg enterprises McDonalds owns-it-all Interconnection Software Chapter 11 Handoveryourmoney gimmick co. Microsquishy My Crows Off Om. IBM pOdCor Metanational Sircrofmic Sweet'nSoft MegaScum bill soft Emperor Shrink Wrap Crap Technology by Atilla microshit colossalhard Microdied MicroSquash PicoFlaccid MaxoSuck Microsloth Leech ;) Mintosoft Corruption-R-Us Billgatesisabigfatdork Micro-excessively-expensive-twot 'Filthy Rich And Troublesome'. FRAT. InterCompuAll Wouldn't "Komintern" suit? Macrosoft I want to take over the world Inc. Billy's Personal Market Monopoly Maker VirusWorks Bill Gates, Commander and Chief of the Earth HandyMoof "Microsoft" brings to mind a small, limp penis. Uurshivolumpiquetsnobongoforacious Dobrificatory Wyrtlefindlemips Co.