The Rejected Question Archive : #54
Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!






R E J E C T
Is there another word for synonym?
-Roget-
Yeah, but if I tell you I'll have to... extinguish, quash, annihilate, eradicate, erase, execute, exterminate, garrote, liquidate, neutralize, obliterate, slaughter, snuff, waste you.


R E J E C T
How can you tell which cows give the whole milk , the 1% the 2% , etc;?
-anonymous visitor-
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to milk you.


R E J E C T
Who would win a fist fight between Microsoft's Bill Gates and Apple's Steve Jobs? (No, Microsoft isn't allowed to pay off Jobs to throw the fight!)
-anonymous visitor-
We'd all lose, neither of them are "butch" enough to kill the other one.


R E J E C T
If you send a question, then you hit the "back" button on your browser, and you send another, are your poll votes sent again too? 'Cause I might be inadvertantly cheating. PS Why ISN'T there chocolate flavored toothpaste?
-anonymous visitor-
OH MY GOD! YOU MEAN THE POLL RESULTS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE INACCURATE?!?
(I dunno, I always thought there was.)



R E J E C T
If you learned the woman you had been dating for about two weeks suddenly tells you she's a he.
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected, question tried to reach down my pants.


R E J E C T
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
-Bozo-
Did it a while ago, here's the wacky answer: "They just leave a funny after taste."


R E J E C T
Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?
-Morris-
Did it last year, see question above for wacky answer.


R E J E C T
OK, we know the earth is round, and the moon is round, but if the moon where to hit the earth, where would the light go at night!???
-Turkman-
Built big elaborate model of Earth and Moon attempting to test Turkman's theory, tripped and knocked over the whole shebang when I flicked the lights off.


R E J E C T
If I have a friend and she wigged out and talked bad about me behind my back, and she started to treat me queerly and so are some of our friends, (I was gaining popularity and some of her people started like'n me) and I asked her about it and she said 'What are you talking about, nothing is wrong!", but I know she is being a complete jerk, but just polite in front of others. (I have heard other things from her about others and I try to egnore them) What creative thing can I do to show that I'm not the bad guy here? I've tried working with what is left of my sense of humor, but I can't hold out much longer before I do something really stupid or something she deserves.
-Look'n Fer Real Friends-
Rejected... she told me about you.


R E J E C T
5 bucks says you reject this.
-P.W.A.-
Always reject questions from visitors with talking money.


R E J E C T
If the legends of Towers of Hanoi is TRUE? Then HOW MANY YEARS OF LIFE HAVE WE GOT LEFT?
-Phat@$$-
Phat@$$ is obviously over educated for our site, but I think we only have four years left because of how lame the new sitcoms are getting.


R E J E C T
What would be a good slogan for a condom company?
1) "If you don't like to whack it, buy the jacket in the packet."
2) "We're stiff competition!"
3) "If you don't want a whiney little brat waking you up at night, and tearing your house apart by day, buy a @$&%ing rubber."
4) "Super Size It!"
-Mr. Fizzles, Condom Entrepreneur-
Question was too small to properly fit.


R E J E C T
I'd like to ask you a rhetorical, open-ended, loaded question please.
-Succa-
Shoot.


R E J E C T
The Year 2000 problem is infuriating. I have to work on it here in the Canadian Government, and I need your advice. How can I change all the clocks in the building so that they read January 2, 2001 without anyone noticing?
-Succa-
Wait, this isn't rhetorical, open-ended or loaded. It's timely though!


R E J E C T
I killed a man last night. What's the best way to dispose of the body?
-Vedder-
Bury it somewhere on this page.


R E J E C T
Whate if me nam is Jethro and me are really smrt? You try insulte me?
-anonymous visitor-
Never even consider using questions on the weekly page from visitors who might appear to be intellectually superior to us.


R E J E C T
Hi! I love you! Why are cats fuzzy?
-Snaggletooth-
So we can rub them all over your head and static-cling you to death.


R E J E C T
Shouldn't this be a tile for a Porno? Grandpa Slams and Granny Hozedown star in- "Hollywood Harry does Granpa Slams then Granny Hozedown then both of them together"
-Mad Anthony Wayne-
Rejected, waiting for release of "Debbie Does Leisure Village."


R E J E C T
Okay I've been thinking (a dangerous thing indeed!). If you had to come up with a new flavor for toothpaste, what would you choose?
A) chocolate
B) meat loaf
C) pancake
D) gun powder
E) Richard Simmons
-(sorry forgot my name for a second....) simian-
Gun powder, so I can blow right through my morning routine.


R E J E C T
Onions! I just don't know anymore, do you guys have any ideas?
-<<Ogre>>-
Question too technical.


R E J E C T
What's that thing sitting on your head?
-Mr. Fizzles-
See question above.


R E J E C T
Do you know the muffin man? I was just wondering, because he said something about you the other day, and he knew a little too much information about you. I'd consider contacting a good locksmith, or the Witness Relocation Program.
-Someone who needs help and a blueberry muffin-
Question had a lot of healthy fiber but still rejected it, waiting for one about walnuts.


R E J E C T
Whatever happened to Kangaroos? You remember..those velcro shoes with the tinsy weensy zippered pocket?
-Jiana-
I understand the "Small-Pocket Kangaroo" is now on the endangered species list.


R E J E C T
If I,m boarding a jumbo jet, and I catch a glimpse of the pilot reading a copy of "747's for Dummies", should I worry?
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected this question only because the next question forced us to do so.


R E J E C T
Whenever I am at my friends house and my friend has a "gaseous explosion" from the Taco Bell food he ate for lunch, he always blames it on the dog. I think it's cool that he can do that. My question: I have no pets, so when I have company over and I've just eaten some double beef burritos and I "pass gas", what/who can I blame it on???
-Da RanMan-
See above question.


R E J E C T
I noticed that little '98 button you have on your poll page. When I clicked it, it took me to your main page, or whatever you call it. Does it record how many people have pressed it so y'all can see if anybody has noticed that thing, or y'all just bitching us when you send us there cause you'll get more numbers on yo counter?
-Strommy Tay-
Yeah, it's a plot. For every five hits we get, we get another Martha Stewart oven mitt.


R E J E C T
OK, let's just get one thing straight, I'm tired of people blaming me for Spanky's death!! It's RAMEN noodle soup, not RAVEN noodle soup!! Although, I'm sure if there was Raven noodle soup it would taste pretty good. Maybe I have something there...
-RAVEN-
Had to send question back, it had a beak in it.


R E J E C T
Are ALL generalizations false?
-Phoebe Ellis-
Generally.


R E J E C T
What planet did Madonna and Michael Jackson really come from???
-anonymous visitor-
Too many question marks.


R E J E C T
Why am I always being rejected? Hell, why is Spanky allergic to Raman? And I thought Sparky was the gay dog on South Park. Hey! What's going on?
-~MWUAHAHAHAH The Spam Girl~-
Because we love you. It's the noodles. Could be, never seen it. None of your business.


R E J E C T
If you were a frog living in the forest, would you occupy just one lily pads or multiple lily pads?
a) just one lily pad
b) multiple lily pads
c) there are no lily pads in the forest. You are thinking of the swamp.
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected, question tasted like... chicken.


R E J E C T
Why do they call them buildings if they are already built?
-anonymous visitor-
Did question sometime last year but was too lazy to sift though archive for wacky answer.


R E J E C T
Hi! I am a shrew and every year on February 2nd I pop out of my hole and tell whether we're going to have spring early or not. Every year I'm right, but they keep listening to that stupid Phuxatony Phil. I do not have enough money to run an infomercial, and my voice is not good enough for a radio or television commercial, so what do you think I should do to attract attention? Also, how do I keep from getting run over by some stupid *** driver?
-Shrew-
Rejected question due to "pop out of my hole" reference.


R E J E C T
Why, oh why?
-T. Martin Gristlethwait-
Question too repetitive.


R E J E C T
In Spanky's Cryofreeze chamber, are those bubbles?
-anonymous visitor-
Yeah, those are supposed to be bubbles, she farts a lot.


R E J E C T
What's your problem?
-anonymous visitor-
Question too general.


R E J E C T
Can you describe what it is like to be an onion? If so, please do.
-BrownShoe-
Actually, we're really pears but we keep it quiet so nobody thinks we're fruity.


R E J E C T
My eye fell out! Where should I begin looking for it?
-Kira-
Visually bizarre.


R E J E C T
If a hen and a half could lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take for a cross-eyed grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?
-anonymous visitor-
This question is rapidly climbing to the top of the most asked question list just below the "cat/buttered toast" one.


R E J E C T
How old are you two? And what is the average lifespan of an onion anyway?
-anonymous visitor-
5,5.


R E J E C T
Is the moon made out of green cheese, and if so, is it good on nachos?
-Hearth Cat-
Waiting for Taco Bell to introduce their new "39¢ moon meal." (sounds tasty!)


R E J E C T
Hey, I hear Cryofreeze can give you prostate cancer. Were you aware of that?
-Oops, no, never mind. Sorry.-
Would have considered answering question only if it had been from "Oops, no, never mind. Sorry, MD."


R E J E C T
If you had built a large catapult seige engine, what would be the first thing you would throw out of it?
A. A gasoline soaked life size replica of a sheep, ablaze.
B. A 150lb perfectly round ball of SPAM.
C. A Macintosh computer.
D. Donny Osmond.
E. The whole Osmond family (except Marie, she's kinda cute in a do-me-like-a-girl-scout kind of way).
F. Any poodle that can't run fast enough.
-anonymous visitor-
Saving question for next poll, uh... if we can find it in the archive by the end of the month that is.


R E J E C T
I heard about a baby who fell out of a 13 story window, and it survived because it landed on it's diaper and the diaper exploded. Would that be kinda like bungge jumping without a cord and landing on a garbage bag stuffed with cotton?
-anonymous visitor-
Kinda, probably be better to land on the baby just to be safe.


R E J E C T
Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman!?!
-Emilio Lizardo-
Wasn't totally sure if "Emilio Lizardo" was visitors name or one of the choices.


R E J E C T
Exactly how many parking spaces does Clinton's dick take up?
-anonymous visitor-
Almost always reject "Presidential penis on wheels" related questions.


R E J E C T
If I killed the Man, would you love me forever? P.S. DAMN THE MAN!
-*****Kentucky Fried Rattail*****-
Believe this may be part of a song rather than an actual question.


R E J E C T
If buttered bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on its feet. What happens when you strap a piece of buttered bread, butter side up, on a cats back?
-Dave-
Sorry Dave.


R E J E C T
if I got A hard on at your page is that good?
-queert-
Visitor capitalized the wrong letter in the question.


R E J E C T
skeri jayne
-anonymous visitor-
Missing question.


R E J E C T
When Spanky comes back to life, will she have some strange disease... like leprosy for example?
-BrownShoe-
Egads, would we do something like that? (hehe)


R E J E C T
I was surfing the net one night,and I thought of something.Popular people are usually ditzy, right? Unpopular people are usually smart, right? So why don't me,and all my unpopular friends fight back and take control? What's stopping us?
-GeniusGirl-
Time, funding, no friends... (whoops, did I say that?)


R E J E C T
Sparky, I know what you're allergic too.If you don't send me 100,000 dollars, I will get meand my friends to send you a vast amount of questions concerning your allegy. Will you pay me, or will you die?
-anonymous visitor-
Couldn't use "Your money or your life" type question this week.


R E J E C T
PTTTTTT...... you wanna get laid?
-anonymous visitor-
PTTTTTT..... absolutely.


R E J E C T
What's purple and flies? Don't worry,if you don't get it right I'll e-mail you the answer.
-GeniusGirl-
Barney pushed out of the Goodyear Blimp?


R E J E C T
"How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?" is a commonly asked question, but my question is...... how the hell does a wood chuck go about chucking wood, and why do people obsess over the answer?
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor tried to sneak in woodchuck question, thinly disguised as an "obsessive people" question.


R E J E C T
Why?
-FROM: Hocknspit-
Question to short.


R E J E C T
is this a googleplex? (look it up in a dictionary if you dont now what it is)
100000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000 000000000000000000
A) yes
B) no
C) is who a what?
d) can i go home now?
c) my cat's name is mittens!
-anonymous visitor-
Question too long.


R E J E C T
here's one for the survey guys!
If you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
A) yes
B) no
C) if i shot a mime would anyone care?
D) when i shot a mime i used one, but you dont have to!
E) i should shoot you with a silencer for asking such a stupid question
F) i take the 5th
G) i am only here cuz i have nothing better to do so dont bother me with anoying questions!
H) I signed the 'Anti-land-mime treaty'
I) mimes? where! MIMES ARE SCARY!
J) WASTE THEM ALL!!!!!!
k) execution style yes, drive by no.
L) hey im a mime! and i dont apreciate you plotting to kill me!
go ahead and cut out the ones you dont like... ( but i like them all!)
-anonymous visitor-
Was going to use question, it started doing the "trapped in a box" thing and suddenly, Bruce Willis winged it with a cab.


R E J E C T
Sometimes, when I'm alone, I get some sandpaper and a cheesegrater, and I lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen and knock her upper during supper (clutter up her butter gutter). 3 Feet Pete in "Good Food Good Meat Good God Let's Eat" Why?
-Mad Anthony Wayne-
Liked the "clutter up her butter gutter" part. Didn't really understand the rest of it.


R E J E C T
rejected, rejected, this question is rejected
-Mad Anthony Wayne-
Half the question is one word.


R E J E C T
Who did the singing for Natalie Wood in West Side Story?
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot all about question after meeting a girl named Maria, yes, I just met a girl named Maria.


R E J E C T
IF I WERE TO "BORROW" A BOX OF STAPLES FROM WORK, DO YOU THINK THE GOVERNMENT WOULD BUY THEM, AND IF THEY DO WOULD I HAVE TO SPLIT THE PROFITS WITH MY BOSS, OR COULD I JUST RETIRE?
-YOURS TRULY DKN"WHY"-
Visitor too loud.


R E J E C T
Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
-anonymous visitor-
Hey, it's a joke! Maybe not a good one, but a joke all the same.


R E J E C T
if i eat cat-food does that mean i can run around meowing and scrathchin people for the hell of it!
-sincearly,Imma Moose-
Yeah, and you can sleep on all my stuff too.


R E J E C T
Didja ever get the feeling you were being washed?
-anonymous visitor-
Good question, no good answer.


R E J E C T
If you're in a car travelling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, what happens?
-Pyrodite-
Got Yugo up to speed of light, hit ground so quickly didn't really have time to turn on the lights.


R E J E C T
I found something in the forest. Should I smoke it?
-Delilah Smud Puddle-
Always reject questions from squirrel addicts.


R E J E C T
where's my boyfriend?
-anonymous visitor-
You lost 'em, you find 'em.


R E J E C T
Was I funny?
-anonymous visitor-
Yes, but not funny enough.


R E J E C T
If Bill Gates got a nickle for every question asked about him at this site how much money would he have recieved so for?
-suicider-
Oh, we don't pick on poor old Billy, do we?


R E J E C T
Frank, are you a playground? Wherre is it Frank, frank please?
-Raw Dog Davis-
Too many franks, not enough buns.


R E J E C T
Does that cryofreeze taste like lime jello, spanky?
-anonymous visitor-
Waiting for question to firm-up a little more.


R E J E C T
If my belly button ring is crusty and the stuff that comes out looks like liquid earwax, should I soak it in saline or eat the dog with a twist of lime and snort a line of sugar?
-Emeraldas-
Do I really need a reason here?


R E J E C T
Where does that crusty stuff in your belly button come from?
-~shrimp-
See above question.


R E J E C T
This monkey next to me will not eat his carrots, what is a suitable punishment for him?
-anonymous visitor-
See next question.


R E J E C T
Arrrrgh! this monkey next to me won't eat his Jello! How should I punish him?
-Cheeseboy-
Already had primate question this week, or was it a boat question, I forget.


R E J E C T
Suppose a FRIEND of mine was going to kidnap a certain celebrity . . . is it easier to lure them with cream cheese or KFC Chicken?
-~MWUAHAHAHHA The Spam Girl~r-
Rejected, had disturbing vision of Leonardo D;Caprio lying on the street with cole-slaw and dinner rolls stuffed in his ears.


R E J E C T
what's the difference between slurpee and slush?
-anonymous visitor-
4 degrees.


R E J E C T
So you think you can tell Heaven from Hell? Blue skies from Pain? Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? Do you wish I was here?
-Whyteshadow-
Whyteshadow apparently stoned and copying stuff out of his CD liners.


R E J E C T
Uh...here's a write in for you. Q 1, the last 2 answers are the same thing.
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor tried to correct us.


R E J E C T
Do you guys ever eat onions? If so, are you cannibals?
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor implied that I should eat Spanky.


R E J E C T
Drop Dead. No, you, up yourse, I want to ask a question! *sigh* God, I hate the voices in my head! *HEY, WE heard that* Die you bitch!
-Never mind, to busy to send in question. Reasons pretty obvious.-
Waiting for better question from "the other guy."


R E J E C T
How do you prefer people to pronouce "ask"? Do you like "asx" or "ass"?
-Caitlin-
hehe... he said ass.


R E J E C T
Is a social life a good thing?
-Pammy-
Question got a little fresh.


R E J E C T
What do you think I am? A radio?
-anonymous visitor-
Think visitor simply wanted us to play with their knobs.


R E J E C T
Why does kids' toothpaste taste like candy?
-anonymous visitor-
So they'll eat the toothbrush and choke to death.


R E J E C T
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
-Jerry/Mike/Amy/Steven/Paul-
Too many questioneers.


R E J E C T
Can I have a Spank-cicle?
-~MWUAHAHAHHA The Spam Girl~-
Evil, bad "Spam Girl." Spanky's not a dairy treat, she's a sandwich condiment.






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