Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
I just ate a peanut butter sandwich! Where does rain come from?
Rejected, question got stuck to the roof of my umbrella.
It's me again MrBitter, My eyelashes have grown back...Im still working on those eyebrows. The polarity issue was something I overlooked but now I have come across some side effects after applying 170 volts to my nipples. At 3:59am every morning I wake up in a cold sweat and I swear my nipples are talkin to me! Are they alive ala Frankenstien?
Rejected, couldn't tell if visitor was cold or just happy to see us.
i hate my boss. what would happen if i put hot pokers in his underpants until i smelled burnt genitals? obviously the promotion wouldn't. or a career here, for that matter. but what type of effect would burnt genitals have on him? would i get any press coverage? i really am not twisted, I NEED TO KNOW AS I AM NOT EATING UNTIL I HEAR SOME SORT OF RESPONSE FROM YOU GUYS!! HELP!
-elvis "goin postal" shortliver-
Rejected, didn't want to stoop to weenie roast joke.
I have a car racing game on my computer made eons ago that I have never been able to win ("Screamer"). It is really quite good except that I'm sure the last level is impossible to win. You onion people must know programmers and stuff; do you think it's possible that a bunch of programmers are still laughing to this day about all the poor et noodles who dream of one day winning the pro round and thus unloacking the last level? Do you think this might even be a common occurence (how many game players have said "This Game is Impossible!" or even never finished a game because they upgraded their computer three times during the playing...)? My other question is do you censor the word fCENSOREDk?
-MartyC and i hav an onion piktur somwer! kul, haw?-
Used back of question to tally how many times I won the last race in Screamer.
What's with the new name?? P.S. That anonymous visitor who asked about the flagpole incident was me (I forgetted to put my name).
-Malissa- <-- I never forgetted this time.
I forgetted why the hell we changed it.
<------- who IS THAT?!?!?!
Visitor forgot to send picture.
Is there a reason why it can't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing?
Danced so long question lost meaning.
Why does my nose hurt every time I look at Spanky?
Back away from the monitor!
IF MONICA LEWINSKY'S STORY IS TRUE, THE FILM ABOUT BILL CLINTON'S LIFE SHOULD BE CALLED:
A. STOP OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT
B. ROMI AND MICHELLE'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION
C. PETTYCOAT JUNCTION
F. B.J. AND THE BEAR
If the rumor is true, I don't think it will be a "full length" feature film probably just a "mini" series would cover it.
How come you let the Reverend Jough reject me? Is he the devil?
Question rejected, compared me with that wussy "Prince of Darkness" guy.
You know how when you put the mouse pointer on a address, that it changes into a hand? I think it would be better if the middle finger went up!
Wasn't born yesterday, visitor just flipped us the birdie.
I want to submit a question, a really cool one, so cool that you put on you poll page, and you put down "This question courtesy of" and it would say my name. Problem is, I'm so afraid of you guys, that if I put my name, I fear you will chase me down, and like, hurt me. What I, and every other onion-fearing person wants to know is, "Are you onion-head really nice guys, or do you jump on peoples' heads with your bodies?" These are the rumors circulating about you, and we would like this cleared up.
-as of the moment, anonymous-
: ) Rejected question in the nicest way we could think of : )
Thank Lord you finally changed to a new poll! You should do that more often! I love you guys!(especially in soup!)
We change the poll once a month, we always remember cause that is also clean sock day.
If you caught a ghost, could you cook him, and if so, what would he taste like?
Rejected, question tasted like... chicken.
How do you go about becoming an onionhead? And why does The Comedy Zone seem affiliated with you? And where the huckleberry pie is my kitchen timer?
-The Infamous Beaver-
You just say onionhead three times in a row...They have no scruples...It's in the Boggle game box.
I just heard a joke today, and i was wondering if the interstate highway patrolmen have balls or not? where else would they dance if they didn't.?
-confused, and obviously blonde-
Zoinks! A pun. Used question for four square game.
Tastes great? Less filling? Well...which is it?
Neither. Question left bad taste in my mouth and I was still hungry.
If (God permit), Bill Clinton were to leave office (like...tomorrow) Hilary would most likely:
A. Turn over a new leaf and tattoo Newt's name on her buttock.
B. Turn over Newt and tattoo "Bill wasn't HERE!"
C. Tip Tipper Gore out of Air Force One and assume the position (First Lady).
D. Request that the White House be declared a disaster area because of the recent Bimbo eruption.
E. Go back to her home planet a failure.
F. Tell Chelsey the truth about the Bills and the bees...and any other reproducing creature within pants-dropping reach...
Visitor forgot all of the above option.
I've heard that in the event of a nuclear war onions will be the only survivors....Well is it true?
Question made a kewl mushroom cloud then disappeared.
What do onions do to pass time in the onion bin at the grocery store? Do the white onions hate the yellow ones? If one thinks he's gonna get picked up does he try to shift or roll to avoid a fate of french onion soup or onion rings? Does the government know about you two? If you do get cooked what the best meal you could be? Or hope to be?
Visitor very inquisitive, feared they may be working for the tuber Mafia.
Why does the english language combine series of words into compound words especially the tripple words such as: notwithstanding, whatsoever, nonetheless, etc.?
I found it to be strangely coincidental that Captain Pyro was asking about cat skinning methods when I just yesterday got my "Cat Skinning Methods of The Great Chefs" book in.
Try these Captain:
Sand Blaster (fine grit/570 psi)
Pressure Cooker (med-high for 20-25 minutes)
Blow Torch (lightly sear the skin, it comes right off)
Nitric Acid (2 molar solution for 10 minutes)
This stuff works on people too!
Let me know if this helps.
Jason forgot question mark.
How many boards could the Mongols hoard, if the Mongol hordes got bored?
Rejected, got nasty splinter from question.
Spanky, will you be my valentine?
Sure, I love those little candy hearts.
I've noticed the honorable Rev. Jough has answered a couple of questions last week. Have you guys hired him on permanently, or are you just making him work on his vacation?
We are letting him work off a debt he owes us for rear-ending us at the Piggly Wiggly.
If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians, egalitarians, & totalitarians eat?
Question got eaten by our rejectatarian.
What the hell does everyone have against Hussein? If I were leading this country I wouldn't want to piss off a guy who's hovering over the "blow up the world" button.
Question waved white flag, so we let it go.
I noticed on the friends page, Cherries is looking quite seductively at Jason, and Jason has a rather wide smile on his face. What are they up to?
Rejected, may have to put those two on their own private page soon.
Thought better about answering question after giving it some thought.
why sex is called sex
Dr. Ruth said these types of people like to be rejected.
Why can't I ever get a good toy out of a Kinder Egg? I mean, enough with the damn puzzles already!
Maybe you're not sitting on it long enough.
So how are you guys holding up on your New Years resolutions? Personally, i'm eating enough Devil Dogs to choke a horse.
Rejected, had to take some questions out of my pockets before I got on the scale.
How come Mickey, Donald and the nephews get run around Disney World sans pants and the rest of us can't?
-De Ole Sarge-
Question got arrested for indecent exposure.
Every time I blow on my thumb to make my hand bigger (just like in the cartoons), I turn purple and pass out. Should I drill a hole in my thumb before I try it next time?
Rejected, bumped head on question and little birdies came and flew away with it.
What kind of onionheads are you? Yellow onionheads? Red onionheads? Purple onionheads? Or white onionheads? I really need to know, because it's Extreamly Important.
Spent weekend holding paint swatches up to my face, I think we are winter peach.
Can a hormaphadite be gay?
Rejected, couldn't tell if question was happy or sad.
Yeah, so what if Elvis Shortliver asks goofy questions? We loved him ever since the day we saw his question, "Why is Elvis Shortliver so groovy" Elvis, don't worry, there are people who really do care for you.
The Staff at the "The Foundation to Stop Spanking Monkeys" Coalation.
"The Foundation to Stop Spanking Monkeys" Coalation-
Didn't have time to answer, was busy making Elvis Shortlver for President posters all weekend.
If you saw a snake in your toilet, would you ..
A.) Catch it for a pet
B.) Remove it to the woods
C.) Use the toilet anyway
D.) Tell your sister she can use the john now
E.) Scream !
F.) Grab a field guide to snakes to I.D. it
G.) Get a gun
H.) Just flush
Question slithered away.
Why do slow down and slow up mean the same thing? Has it anything to do with which direction you're falling?
Rejected, lost compass in poker game.
I'm very, very sad Sparky and Spanky. It seems that *sob* my dearest pet, Fred, the can of Spam (he is soooo sexy . . the girls love him) was arguing with the voice in my head (her name is EB) and ummm, she fed him to ummm, uuhhh, err, Taylor Hanson. Or was it Pres. Clinton . . damn, I can't remember anyhow. And I got pissed. Really pissed, and started choking Taylor/Bill (I still can't figure out who it was) Now I'm afraid that all the teenyboppers and FBI are gonna track me down. What can I do?
-MWUAHAHAHA! The Spam Girl-
Sent question off to lab for DNA testing, still waiting for results.
Do you guys only answer one question per week, per visitor? As in, I if sent in two questions, would you only answer one?
How much wood could a beaver chuck if a beaver could chuck... no, wait, a beaver CAN chuck wood.
Rejected, hate these dam and beaver questions.
If we as humans create in our mind the world in which we live, and we as humans say that the world is falling apart. Does this mean that we are all going insane?
Had great answer all set in my mind, but then found out the world was going to hell in a handbag, so I just rejected this one too.
When duty calls, you should always:
* get out the elbow grease & put your nose to the grindstone
* apply for financial aid, and enroll in some easy college courses
* pretend to be enrapt in a good program, and make like you didn't hear
* make sure there's enough paper before you sit down
* let the machine get it
Just felt it was my duty to reject his one.
How many onions does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh and I have a joke to tell you Spanky and Sparky were walking down a trail when they saw some trakes "Those are deer tracks"Sparky side getting all excited like "No those are bear tracks "Spanky piped up. They started to argue. The arguement ended when they were hit by the train.
Left question on tracks, now it is too flat and big to read.
hello, i am here. why am I here? does my life have any meaning? if I was to not come here anymore, would you miss me? if the aliens came back and wanted me to fix their time machine that I spilled coffee on, would you guys protect me from them and make them leave me alone? or would you leave me to go through all that again? why do my hands smell like peanut butter? why are men such jerks? is it because they're idiots and truely have no idea what they're doing? or is it intentionally to hurt/piss off everyone they care about and that used to care about them (as a friend but no longer cares about them any more because they're such jerks)and leave them feeling like idiots and no friends whatsoever? are men doomed to repeat the same mistakes for the rest of their lives, or is there a cure out there somewhere? if there's a cure could I have a copy of the formula? are all men more than one person? I know this one guy who's about five. why are men such jerks? how can you keep a guy from drinking while he's driving and making out with someone who's 20 years younger than him? how do you help the girl that he's making out with? what should she do? is she suposed to understand? or is this a sadistic thing? should I shut up now? am I rambling? I guess I am. phooey. I hate men. are they all such jerks or is it just the ones I know? did I mention the guy was married and has two YOUNG children? does this suck as much as I think it does? please help. can you help me?... I mean the girl? she doesn't know what to do and he won't leave her alone. does this suck? i think it does. yep it does. is that enough questions?
Whoa, you can say that again, or can you?
Why do we say things are "left-over"? Why not "right-under"?
Put this question right under that other rejected question that was left over.
Why do you get charged more for a large tea when you are just getting more water??
Gave visitor a "reject one, get one rejected free" deal this week.
I..just...don't...know...anymore. Does it matter S&S?
P.S. Kahn? Kaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!
Didn't think it would matter much if I rejected this one.
I can't think of a question, but my name isn't Jethro. What should I do?
-Georgia, the Non Prom Queen-
Change your name.
There's this really smelly/hairy/greasy girl that sits in front of me in my Algebra II class. Whenever she flips her hair over her shoulder, which is quite often, might I add, she sprinkles dandruff on my desk. And I don't really like that too much . . . can you blame me? It's so icky! So, Sparky, what should I do? I can't very well buy her a bottle of dog shampoo and throw it at her---that'd be too cruel. (Just for the record, this is TRUE! I'm not kidding, not one bit.)
-Georgia, The O Mighty Clean One-
Rejected, question made my head itch.
Most women have seen Bill Clinton naked!
Rejected, visitor forgot question mark.
Was that you hiding behind that pole in Brussels nailing Bill with a cream pie? Man, you sure do get around! Also, can you send me the recepie? I want my pies to be able to do that!
Too bad they didn't use a hot apple pie from McDonalds, now *that* could have taken him out for good.
Are you racist or somethng don't you think other vegetables should have a chance at stardome You could have a cabbage and call your place cow Wembly Fraggle cow lover.
Rejected, I will have you know some of my good friends are cabbages.
I woke up yesterday with a pimple on my nose. I was absolutely petrified!!! I poured astrigent, oxy, noxema, and even boiling water on it, and yet it wouldn't stop the swelling. It's this huge, huge pimple and it looks really gross. WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?!
Rejected, didn't have the heart to tell visitor that tomorrow is picture day.
Sparky, If you were born an artichoke instead of an onion, do you think you would be as witty as you are?
Probably, but then I'd have people trying to stuff me all the time.