Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
I finally DID IT! I finally solved the biggest mystery of all time. The question that has been stumpin the greatest minds of history. Last night my washer broke and when I took it apart the pump had eaten one of my socks. so I have proof now as to what actually happens to the other sock. But what really burns my britches besides the fact that it ruined my washing machine is that it was my best sock. back to my question. Will you do me a favor and nominate me fer a Nobell Prize in astrophysics?
-Thank You Kindly, Cousin Ernie ps. anybody know where I can find a match for a brown sock?-
Rejected, matched up all the questions and answers for the week, this one seemed to be left over.
Chap Stick: Man or Myth?
- Fred The Stick Figure -
Feared visitor would want to borrow question after I used it.
Spanky, What is a giganotosaurus?
Question became extinct.
If I ran over and killed Barney with my '87 POS, would that make the car actually worth something to a collector?
Used question to clean big "dinosaur mess" off driveway.
Sparky, are you going to reject my questions this week too?
No, *I'm* rejecting this one.
Do you think John Denver predicted his own death when he wrote the song ,"Leaving on a Jet Plane"?
Arrived at the gate right after question took off.
Do you need any psychic advision? They call me Mr Tibbs Or are you really like that? Guess who? Is Darby Gay?
Yes...Hello...Not Really...I dunno...No.
I've been thinking about tons of things as I knit sweaters for my pot-bellied pig.I believe that if I decided to knit something for a camel, it should be leg warmers because they might get cold and I don't think that camels should wear scarves. Do you agree? And what's the chances of a camel using its hump (or two) to store things other than water, like Scott Baio?
-Nanda, I don't use drugs.-
Rejected, thought question was a mirage.
While watching the StuporBowl last night I relized something: Beer. More then anything else the greatest game of the NFL seems to be about beer. Beer ads outnumber the others by a huge margin. Everyone in eyesight of me had a beer in their hand. Instead of honoring a silly land acquisition game, let's get honest and honor the true spirit of the sport (pun only slightly intended.) Beer...BEER! Hats off to beer! (Do onionheads drink beer?)
Yes, of course we drink beer and watch football, and drink beer while watching football and play football while drinking beer. Generally, we just drink beer any old time we can, after a touchdown, before a touchdown, chug a couple DURING the touchdown and then another while they kick the extra point. And we manage to get a whole six pack in during half time.
I've recently come across a theory that the Smurfs were actually communist propaganda, and i was wondering if you knew anything about it.
Indeed. The Smurfs, little blue nymphs of the forest, were created by Belgian cartoonist Pierre Culliford, who used Peyo as a pen name, as an allegory for Communism. They were led by Papa Smurf (who wore a red hat) and each Smurf performed a specific task according to their ability. The Smurf utopia was often threatened by the evil Capitalist Gargamel and his cat Azrael (the angel of death). There was only one "Smurfette" and so it's expected that each of the prospective males used her to mate. It's important to point out that the Smurfs are the ideal of communism, and not the practical Stalinist variety. If you missed "Smurfs: the later years" you'd have seen that Brainy Smurf rose to power and had most of the other Smurfs killed.
Rejected, I never would have guessed.
do you like cheese?
Rejected, already met my dairy daily requirements for today.
Did Bill Clinton have a vasectomy? and Is Paula Jones a Homo?
Rejected, lately Spanky feels like she is the only woman in the US who doesn't know the answer to this question.
Would you rather slide down a 10 foot long razor blade into a vat of iodine or spend a week locked in a cage with a tumescent baboon? If you had to have sex with either Billy Graham or Delta Burke (someone is holding a gun to your head and you MUST do one of them) which one would you choose?
Rejected, question gave me a massive paper cut.
What takes the bacteria off soap?
Got question wet and it just shot right out of my hands.
I'm having family over from out of town next week, and I'm a little worried about how to fix the meals. Besides a potato peeler, what are the other ways to skin a cat?
Had to reject question, still on this darn New Years diet.
Folded question into cute little ear hat.
Spanky and/or Sparky;
I like your new TeeVee on the main (index???) page. Where the hell is my marshmallow you promised me months ago??
Question caught fire, turned black, then we couldn't read it.
Why do they have braile writing on drive thru money machines? (think about it...blind people can't drive 'cause they can't see...)
Used back of question to balance checkbook.
why do they sterilize needles for lethal injection?
-just a little curious from death row-
Visitor is probably already dead.
ohhh, wow, you answer questions!! Oh, I'm soooo jealous. NOT! You think you're so special, answering stupid question, that a onion-eating rabbit could answer better.Well, I'm on to your little game, and I don't like it. Not one bit. I also don't like those bodies you "attach" to you sometimes, like a kangaroo, or a ballerina. So if you could just fix these things, you'd make some people, very, very happy. Thanks for reading, you're very kind,
-Jethro's Twin Sister(yes, there's 2 of us)-
Always reject questions from people who use "very" more than one time in a row.
Suppose you gave a phone solicitor the choice to a) die a slow painful death at your hands or b) kill himself quickly, and they chose b. Is it still considered murder? Also, would the fact that they were, uh, I mean are a phone solicitor give me, um, you any legal advantage?
Rejected, thank you, but I have enough questions.
In reference to my last question, do you think the Security Officials were justified in throwing me out just for screaming, "DIE, YOU FACIST, TYRANNICAL, MISERABLE, PIECE OF WORM-RIDDEN, DECAYED, VULTURE FECAL MATTER!"?
Visitor yelled and hurt my ears.
If two of the personalities of a multiple personality scizophrenic find out that a third one murdered someone, should they turn him in?
Aided and abetted question all week.
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Rejected, question left crumbs in the bed.
Can I have fries with that?
Rejected. Forgot to specify regular or Super Value Size(tm).
Hey, how come my onionhead isn't up yet? Speaking of which, you should be able to bounce all your onionhead friends on the Trampoline thingy!
-RAVEN the impatient-
Used back of question to make note to self to post Raven head.
I wasn't aware that the President of the United States was allowed to have sex, let alone TONS of sex. So does that mean he's sexy? Please reject this question.
Visitor has obviously not seen picture of current US president.