wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #41 Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!

Some of our Onionheaded friends If I was an elf would I have to have pointy ears? Could I be something else, maybe a big robot sea monster instead? -anonymous visitor- Rejected question after several Japanese citizens pointed at it and yelled "Rook out, rook out!" We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. Your culture will adapt to service us. We will add your technological and biological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is Futile Now, if resistance is futile, why do they get beaten every time? and if the federation always barely beats 1 ship, why don't they send 2? or 3? There are 741 days remaining. The Hamster that is Stalking You, Again. Stuffed question in the warp drive to get the shields up quick. The new Prodigy ads on television seem to indicate that Prodigy users have things to do with their time other than use the Prodigy service. Does this seem like a self-defeating marketing ploy to you, or does prodigy just realise that no one is using their service, so why not make a goofy commercial? Also, am I now going to be sued by Prodigy? (ooops, that's two questions, rejected page here I come!) -From Dragnrst- Visitor obviously knows the rules, and still chose not to follow them. Okay, I know this question is late, and I'm sorry. But what would happen, if say like, George Bush was actually french, and while he was in office, he and the people of France were secretly trying to plot against us 'cause we had a kick-ass recipe for homemade chicken, and wouldn't give it to them, do you think that they put wires in every single house so they can find out this recipe, and maybe, just maybe find out why we like bubble-gum pop music so much? Hoping this isn't the worst question you've had. -Caitlin- CONGRATULATIONS!!! When was the last time you banged someone? -anonymous visitor- While I was supposed to be answering this question. Today I stuck on a pair of happy face boxers (lepoard print, satin, bikini panties didn't really go well with my outfit) and put on my brother's huge tommy jeans and wore them really lowon my hips (almost past my ass). This isn't normal for me at all and I was wondering why all the guys in my school enjoy wearing thier pants so low. Do YOU know why? -Malissa- Rejected. Used question as a belt to hold my pants up. Why do men have nipples? -Dave I am the Webbman, goo goo gajoob DRW@webtv.net- Question got caught in the wringer. Why can't we all just get along? How does the guy in the Barney suit stay sane? Why do people come to this cruddy site? -anonymous visitor- Just to see *your* question rejected pal. What would you choose to assasinate Fidel Castro with? a. a gun b. a knife c. a board with a nail in it d. Lee-Press-on Nails e. McDonald's Coffee f. pie, lots and lots of pie g. your bare slimy hands -anonymous visitor- Shot question, stuck a knife in it, nailed it to somebody's fingers, spilled coffee on it and threw a pie at it. It still wouldn't go away. Finally just tied some rocks to it and threw it in the creek. Sparky, is there really and for truly a Santa Claus? -The Reverend Jough Approximately- Your question valiantly tried to save the above question, but got shot in the crossfire. Such a brave little question. What's your favourite "misfit toy" in the Rankin Bass production of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?" Mine's the Charlie in the Box. -The Reverend Jough Approximately- Question suddenly jumped out and scared the bejesus out of us. What if i don't want to talk to you now? what if this question thing is just too much pressure? oh you guys think you're so funny, huh? -anonymous visitor- Used back of question to write down some funny comments for next week. My girlfriend got me a T-shirt that says, "Graduate of Institute for the Sexually Gifted." Isn't it false advertising for me to wear it since I only graduated the 6th grade? -Big Ed- Rejected, visitors name, and apparel scared me. (see next question) Follow-up to my previous question: Is it normal for a 13-year-old to have a 28-year-old girlfriend? -Thanks again, Big Ed- See above question. I'm graduating in one week. What kind of gift did you two get me? Duct tape? Orange Juicer? Remote controlled toaster? -Jason- Visitor obviously thinks we're millionaires. DoEs it bug you when people use dinky <FONT> Tags like FONT SIZE=+1? -MartyC- Question too "fonty." Is Hanson a bunch of manly little girls or womenly little girls? -anonymous visitor- Sexually confusing. why won't you GIMME BACK MY SON?! -anonymous visitor- Rejected by our very own "Little Tommy." Is there any practical use for knowing how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I mean, is this some big environmental problem? Are forestry officials worried about this statistic? Are woodchucks deforesting whole areas and screwing up the ecosystem? Or is it all just some sick childish fantasy with no basis in fact? -MirageQ- Several small furry creatures came by and chewed the crap out of question. Hi there Spanky and Sparky. This is my first question ever. You know those ATM (Automatic Teller Machines) at the bank, well i think calling them a teller is wrong coz a teller means a person and a machine doesnt qualify as a person so in my opinion i think its wrong. Please tell me your opinion so if i take up my law suit against the bank for insulting the human race i wont look any more silly than i already do! -Marshon ...ok, so im weird, but im saving up to be ecsentrick- Hey, what about Penn & Teller? They're human. How come French women never shave their armpits? -Pierre- Shaved question, still couldn't read it. Yesterday when I was flying a sortie with my squadron of F-16s, I saw a weird saucer shaped object flying around with what I believe to be an onion at the controls. Are you guys behind all this UFO hooba-jube for publicity, or as an attempt to take over the world? -Captain Pyro- Already had "wacky" UFO question this week. what is a volcanoe button? -shell- Pressed question a few times, it only dimmed the lights. where does all the air you go that you've already breathed? (I made up my own snappy little responses. Feel free to use them or ignore them) 1. Air fairies com at night and take it to their magical used air land. 2. Damned if I know. 3. Hey! I don't even know HOW I breathe. 4. I don't breathe. I'm a computer who's secretly been programmed to acsees the Internet and mess with poll information. -anonymous visitor- Question is featured on the weekly page, and the rejected page (for the answers we didn't use) Visitor apparently wants our job. Is this all you ever do ? Or do you both have lives and loving hellhole children to attend to? -anonymous visitor- No we sort of have a life also, and a 14 year old boy who we'll trade for a Pez dispenser. Can you guys give me a job? I could make sure that Sparky & Spanky always have toilet paper when they sit down. -Mookpiloh Man- Used question to wipe our butter dish. What is the differance between an HMO and the PLO ? You can negotiate with the PLO. -anonymous visitor- Visitor answered own question. What would you think of the Honda civic named Hi-O honda civic? -Aeee- Question just drove off. I know this guy who has never been married or had a girlfriend. His nmae is Bill Thermostockles. What is a nice way to tell him to buzz off? hes very annoying -anonymous visitor- Folded up question and used it as a tree decoration. Dear Spanky Sparky, I have this friend his name is James. hes a really nice guy But way to shy and laid back.My niece calls him fartinstaller.I want to understand this guy but don't how how .Got any clues? -anonymous visitor- Angel needed a skirt. (see above question) Bassackwards incorporated. A business by W.E.Bass and J.A. Bass. Do you like the name. -anonymous visitor- What a coincidence, we named our first son that. In First Question, you said BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -anonymous visitor- Yeah, now you said it too. Hey Spankme, can I spank you???....oh wait....its SPANKY!.....never mind ;-) -Grok- Visitor said to never mind. when will the special boomerang of judgement rip throught the galaxy and vindicate the postmen! they work so hard and deserve some shame, no not shame, shamrocks! i mean ketomine! no underpants! no....... -birdbox- Boomerang just flew out of nowhere and knocked question out of my hands. hello. i am cranky. i do silly sit ups, juggle flaming tampons, and occasionally kick a midget in the groin. the crowd goes wild, but i am still cranky. sometimes i dream about the tampon fairy pummeling me with condoms, but mostly i just dream about kicking midgets. do you like rocks? -gorax, the wild potato- Yeah, rocks are nifty. Is there really a santa? -anonymous visitor- Yeah, Santa Rosa, Santa Fe, and Santa Teresa. I checked into the X-mas Bud Ugly Page. I really think the new music is--is---well, it is and so who is playing it, what instrument are they playing it on and can they teach it to me? Credit for the good stuff; o.k? -Memy SelfandI- Thanks Memy, I guess the $30,000 in music lessons is really paying off for me now. If you had the choice of having dinner with Mr. Rogers, Mr. Magoo, or Mr. T, whom would you choose? -Cherries- Gave question a Mowhawk, put glasses on it and Speedy Delivery took it and somehow lost it on the way. elvis shortliver here. just curious how you liked concentric. i don't like aol and i have heard good things about them. i'm gonna switch in january and concentric is a big option. whaddya think??? thanks. -anonymous visitor- (I tried to mail the answer to you elvis but my mail kept getting bounced back) Well, until today (just a coincidence) it's been very reliable and the webpage area has some nice free guestbook features, so I would recommend it, it's much better than AOL! if you had the choice would you rather: a-jack off in public b-pick your nose in public c-sleep in a bathtub full of slugs or d-french kiss you granparents -anonymous visitor- E. Reject this question. It appears that I give Bird Box the willies! That is a good thing, yes? -simian- Visitor answered own question. Hey, another General Hospital fan! Hey, SLY, man, it is perfectly COOL to be "in" with the soap opera scene. Nikolas will not die, trust me- he hasn't died all the other times people have bonked and bashed him. Oh, and Bobbie? She'll never know. This isn't sick at all, is it? - Fred The "There's a Question in there Somewhere" Stick Figure - Not really a question so much as a soap update. Can you wipe out an entire tent city and then go watch "It's a Wonderful Life" on TV? - Fred The "RENT ROCKS!" Stick Figure - Rejected. Question kept making this annoying ringing sound. Oh come on! Is Iowa really a state? You can't be serious! -simian- Lost question in cornfield.

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