wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #37 Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!

Some of our Onionheaded friends Why do you ask us to send you questions when you will most likely reject it? -anonymous visitor- Cause if we just sat around rejecting our own questions we'd look stupid. Umm..what does 31337 mean to YOU? -anonymous visitor- It means I get to reject this question. Spanky! Sparky! Darlings...... (I know you missed me. I think) Anyways...direct to the question at hand. See, I recently got back from a time travel hunting expidition from the year 1985, where I was in search of that ever elusive yeti. (rough estimate time period of released movie Harry and The Hendersons). It came up bogus!...all I found was a stupid costume (acutally, it was kinda kinky...but that's beside the fact). Now in case you didn't know this, I am a man on a mission! And I will find that sasquwatch! My next lead is former WWF wrestler George the Animal Steel, on the basis of hairy back evidence, and bestial behavioral characteristics. One thing throws me off though. Was his tongue blue because he was, in fact, human- and sucked down a blue Slurpee before each match? Or was it all just a ploy inacted by his manager? I know that the Slurpee trick works! (And they turn more than your tongue blue!) Waiting with weapon in hand, -Claymiester- Rejected. Claymiester indicated that he might have possession of a weapon which in itself isn't so bad, it was the possibility of a Slurpee headache that really scared us off. WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO? I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU HURT ME SO! I WILL GO AWAY FOREVER. GOODBYE. -ELVIS SHORTLIVER- No Elvis! Come back, we love you too. We didn't mean it, it was all just a bad terrible joke, we're sorry. Wait, it wasn't that bad of a joke. How did the pilgrims manage to stay afloat on a May flower? And what type of flower was it exactly? I know it's a "May" flower, but many flowers are around in May. - Fred The Stick Figure - Lost question while playing with it in the bathtub. My hard drive started wobbling and making funny noises. The guy at the shop told me it was because all of the data got shoved over to one side. Is there any way I can spread it back out? -Jason- Tape some pennies on the other side. Let's say you guys are kidnapped and taken to the home of a mad scientist, who tells you that you can either choose to undergo an experiment that he's working on, or you can choose to become his breakfast (he has odd eating habits). Let me just say that his experiment involves the attachment of what I will call "bodily extensions." What do you do? -anonymous visitor- I'll take what's behind door number three. Let's say, hypothetically, that I accidentally ran over your pet llama in my M1 Abrahms. What would you do to me? -Captain Pyro- Backed over question. A bunch of times. How do you spell "photosythesis"? I'm an teach English. -anonymous visitor- I only know how to spell rejected. hey spanky and sparky, just wondering, is there any way to get in touch with other users? I would think it would be pretty cool to be able to exchange e-mail addresses with a few other users, but i would feel lame posting a question to the public for that purpose. is there (or could there be) a page with a list of other users and their e-mail addresses if they want them on there. if there is, feel free to put mine on there. I just think that would be a cool idea. ok, cool, thanks. -name witheld- We're hoping to add a bulletin board soon so visitors can add some comments and talk with each other. What is nagahide furniture made from? -Ethan Allen- Lots of little hiding nogs I think. Should I invest in soy products or male exotic dancing? -Madame George and her Dancing Hitlers- Still a little confused by the dancing veggiburgers. Why is not unusual to kill a man in self defense, but you can't shoot a guy who slept with your wife? -Mad Anthony Wanye- Something about manners I think. Who is jason and how can i contact him? I love his fun questions -anonymous visitor- Check out the friends page and click on his head. Really hard, he likes that. O.K. like I run the Blonde Soap Opera Update on the web, and if I miss a day should I just make the stuff up or tell them I was out having a real life? -The Blonde- This is from my sister so I can reject it because she's in Florida so I don't have to see her around the holidays. Why is there an axe in my foot? -The crazy guy that isn't stalking you- Don't axe me! Wrong! FBI=federal bereau of investigation! I still don't know what FIB means. -anonymous visitor- Rejected. Visitor corrected us. do you know who I am? well, just for your information, I'm meee!!! I'm not strange, I'm perfectly abnormal and if you have a problem with that, I have one thing to say to you. CANADIANS RULE!!!!!! so there did that make any sense? didn't think so. -Valerie- Visitor forgot question mark. What IS the "hokey pokey"? Is it some bizarre ritual with a hidden meaning we don't know about? -Jon- Feared visitors might find out about our membership in the "Hokey Pokey World Domination Corps." What DOES one wear that apropos for a party that's also a crime? -twanger- Already had clothes related question this week. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do pratice? -keet- Question didn't look well. Who the hell is George? -anonymous visitor- Got distracted and forgot about question after seeing the man with the big yellow hat. Are you gay? -anonymous visitor- Happy as a clam, thanks! If for some reason the sun burnt out tomorrow and everything was hectic.. Who should I kill first? -Reptile- Question too scary. When do we get to meet your granddad, Stinky the Month-Old Onion? p.s. sorry if I answered the poll already...it just means I was drunk the first time and I forgot I answered it. *burp* mmmm, chunks -Johnnie Walker Black- Visitor admitted he was drunk and might barf on the question any minute. What's that typeface you use for titles on this site? You know, the one that "Official Opinion Poll" is in at the top of this page. Thanks. -tmillar@utkux.utcc.utk.edu- Cheapsign, and you're welcome! Why don't carmakers give their models cool names like: 1) Ford Gelding 2) Dodge Cyst 3) Nissan Deathtrap 4) Isuzu Rapmaster 5) Toyota Bastard 6) Plymouth Weiner 7) Buick Pork Rind 8) Honda Epiglottis? -Jason- Great question. Saving it for the next poll, provided I can find it at that point of course. Why don't you guys come over for dinner next week, we're having chili, onion rings, and butter sauteed mushrooms and onions? -Vegetarian Cannibal- Visitor wanted to eat us. Doodle Doodle Dee, Wubba, Wubba, Wubba. . . -anonymous visitor- Whee, Dinka, Dinka, Doo. My mom says I'm special! What's a dwarf? -Snaggletooth- Short guy, beard, sings a lot. What's the difference between a crocodile? -mw- Made some nice shoes out of question. Well, I took your advice and printed out your entire web site to send as Christmas cards. My mother got the "Scooter Ride Through Hell" part of your site and last I heard, she was hiding under the table whimpering. The head of the state psychiatric ward would like to have a word with you guys. -Jason- Rejected. Sorry about your mom though. Why won't dogs eat boogers? -Jadie- Rejected. To snotty. Are you insane ? And can you reply to this question without using the word 'no'? -you 'orrible man- Maybe and yes. Do you guys like to watch Sci fi shows? -Robin Williams- Put question in orbit. Hey guys the boob lady here. Your idea with the sponges and duct tape did not work. I have very raw skin from the use of the duct tape. The last time I used the tape I ripped my nipples off. Now tell me what I'm going to do? -Nippel-less in Seattle- Never answer questions from nipple-less visitors. Why haven't you run for office yet? -Crisco cooking oil- I run for the office every morning. How do they get the deer to cross at the yellw sign? -anonymous visitor- Did question way back. Think it was some sort of game they play. Who can remember this stuff. Is there anyone smarter than you guys? If there is how can I contact them? I want to know where all my socks are going. -<<{{--- Ha! We're so smart we have all your socks. Why do they put such stupid cruddy piece of sCENSOREDt commercials on tv when we all hate them and write the makers death threats written in human blood other than our own? -Death Threats Anonymous- Rejected. Question came in with a little blood on it. are hand me downs considered taboo for christmas presents? i want to give the stuff my parents gave me last year to all my friends. p.s. do you want a pair of lead filters this year? -little bigfeather- Some call it recycling. I call it cheap. How do you keep a turkey in suspence??? -anonymous visitor- I'll tell you next week. What do you think of ZUG??? -anonymous visitor- It's kewl! But I haven't been there since their big run in with Cool Site of the Day. If there were 6 bottles in a dumpster and 7 flew back to the nest, would George turn 21 that day and go shopping or would the baanna get squished? -Malissa- Akk, too many numbers. I did have 3 apples left though. How coem after you've just spent the last hour rather dully reading through all the questions on these pages that it's really difficult to think of a decent one to ask? -Me- You think that's hard? Try answering all the darned things. Is there really only one way to skin a cat? -anonymous visitor- Couldn't catch her to find out. Will try and sneak up later. I have uncontrollable desires to be a nice, good person that brings joy and happiness to everybody. How do I keep myself from doing this? Is there a cure for it? -anonymous visitor- Visitor unaware that they don't actually need a cure so much as they should just move next door to us. Are onionheads immortal? Is there a way to kill onionheads? Or are they destined to take over the world? -anonymous visitor- Bwha ha ha ha ha, be afraid, be very afraid. What REALLY happens to that lost hour in daylight savings time? -anonymous visitor- We save 'em all up for leap year. What should I get my Chia Pet for Christmas? -anonymous visitor- ChiaTie.

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