wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #31 Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!

Which is better, "Jurassic Park" or "Superman III" ? I'm undecided, since JP had that David Attenborough guy, but Superman III had ice. So, Spanky/Sparky/Dinky/Cranky/Frankie (it's only a matter of time), which is keWl3r? -a nony moose- My VCR ate Superman III, the rewinder ate Jurassic Park, unfortunately "Ernest goes to Camp" is still in excellent working order. So I think it's the best of the bunch. Why is your REJECTED QUESTIONS page red? I almost went blind when I hit "back" on my browser and the white background shined in my used too the dark red background eyes. -some plain old weird chick- Rejected. What red page? Is it anymore than coincidence that Spanky is now named Cranky, and you've renamed your website Cramp? Is it Spanky's time of the month, and for that matter, do onions have a time of the month, or do they have seasonal hormonal swings? -Jason- Yes, you'll be happy to know, the monthly "Woe-o-Rama" is over. (I know I am) that question.. erm.. ee.. what question? hmm.. i wanted to.. dnt remember.. naah.. fCENSOREDk that.. -anonymous visitor- Visitor forgot question mark. Help! I'm confused! If a car has a motor, and the motor had all those little parts, what makes the litle parts move, cause I know the little part make the engine go, and the engine makes the car go, but WHAT THE HELL MAKES THE LITTLE PARTS GO!!! Are there even littler parts in the little parts or some thing? I mean, maybe I'd understand if the little parts were plugged into the wall, cause then the little gnomes that live in there crawl through the cord and move everything to make it go, but it's not plugged in :( I'm so confused... -PUFF- Mechanically bizarre. Bring on the test... I'll pass every one... I just want to be an onion like you... oh please pass me... Then i can be proud of something.(Mama onion says i embarass my family in the toss'er) -Frenchy a la Onion- Feared wacky onion with strange foreign rituals and bizarre accent might want to move in. Besides, the French ones always end up in soup. Do you like... scary movies? -PUFF- Not since our tomato cousins got that bad rap. Does Microsoft employ elves or monkeys to write their software? -Jason- Never heard of any "Elvis monkeys." Where do I enter my name? Here? -Whyteshadow- Rejected. Visitor didn't enter name in correct spot. HEY!!!! Why can't I click on the onion heads anymore? Well, I can, but it tells me not to. Why? Why do you do this to me? -E.G.- Visitor clicked on onionheads even when he was told not to. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? -~jennifer~:)- Good clean question, but we did it a while back. Just how does the light in my fridge keep going on and off, really? -Speed- Frozen Smurfs. (Hey, do they turn a deeper blue?) What would happen if Spanky would use Sparky's hair peace?? -anonymous visitor- Didn't think anybody knew about the toupee. I had this WEIRD nightmare about a suspicious looking onion head on a piece of paper. It was talkin' to me like I was doing something bad. It kept telling me things. I woke up and I was scared out of my wits. What was that?! -anonymous visitor- It was a dream, all just a terrible dream. Why do they call it a spork, shouldn't it be called a foon, im not really sure, but it seems the little pointy things on the end make it more fork than spoon, and spork sounds like a meat substitute gone bad. -Puuj- Rejected. Visitor spelled "Fewn" wrong. I want an omelette? Who is your favorite Simpson? -Homer -Marge -Lisa -Bart -O.J. -Apu (technically he's not a Simspon but I like him) I want an omelette. -Sincerely, Homer Python #1022 Jeff Hansen jjh896@mail.usask.ca- Didn't want to "egg" visitor on. (This is one of the clues in this months "Spot the Pun" contest) Christina Kleindl -anonymous visitor- Visitor forgot question. Disappear for a few weeks and whaddya get? Reemed by a vegetable...and not even a cucumber at that. What's up Cranky's core anyway? Dinky hasn't slipped her the old tuber lately? Of course, with a name like that, she may never know. Gee Cranky, isn't it Cliff's Notes? (Do your homework before you flame me again, babe) And how does one throw about such words as dummies never questioning why it isn't spelled dumbies? Oh yeah...that time travel question is pathetic and doesn't even warrant being on the site much less crediting someone with it. God! I feel better. BTW...was any of that a question? -Jadie (Trying to preserve a bit of dignity)- Nope, and don't forget to pay a visit to our new exciting complaints department. was mr. Whipple a homersexial? he sure looks like he squeezes firmly. -elvis shortliver- Visitor spelled homosixual wrong. So if you are really onion heads if you cut yourself do you make yourself cry? -Mr Howdy Doody from the peanut gallery- This is without question the most asked personal question at the site. We've never thought up a wacky answer and the "Snappy Answers for Dummies" has been absolutely no help whatsoever. Oops...this is a sort of addendum to my question. I was the one who submitted something about dreaming a talking onion head... -It's from Chicken Burrito. *grin* Have a nice day!- Almost always reject addendums from chickens. So just who did put the bop in the bop shoo wop?" -Yours Truly Lucretius- Question too tuney. i've been trying to pick up Hawaii for the past two weeks and yesterday i finally got it out. now i need a good place to put it but i can't decide where. where do you usually put volcanic islands? -MoleStank typing with one free hand *flex*- Lost question under big pile of ash. Where can I purchase the remastered version of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" trilogy in a handsome gift set? -Jason- Accidentally sawed question in half. (whoo, it's from Jason, is that Jason with the hockey mask?) My nose runs constantly, and rather than get it sore from blowing it all the time, I was thinking about just cramming a couple of tampons up there. Am I in any danger of contracting Toxic Shock Syndrome if I leave them in my nose over 8 hours? -Jason- Question too snotty. What is a spork?... -Frenchy a la onion- Lost question in silverware drawer. Cranky if you're so cranky why don't you try to imagine your Bill Gates and have lots or money it works for millions of people. Cranky are you a cheap imitation of Spanky, not that Spanky was cheap also, I think Sparky shouldn't of tried to sale her...wait my question is what ever happen to Sparky? -Phat@$$- Rejected. Cranky's gone till next month. Bill Gates has tons and tons of money, yet he's one ugly bastard. Why is that? -simian- Being nice to Bill since I got the free browser. I like spagetti with mushrooms and ONIONS don't you guys like spagghetti with ONIONS too? Can I have your autograph? -Wembly Fraggle- No, and sure. Spanky, Sparky If you could be a vegtable, which vegtable would you be and why? -anonymous visitor- Wait, I am a vegetable. My salsa bottle says that it contains onion powder (or maybe it was the totilla bag saying it while throwing its voice.) Anyway, can you give me the inside scoop on this onion powder stuff? -anonymous visitor- It's actually our dandruff. Sorry. Moo? -anonymous visitor- Moooooo. Do you ever feel sick after sex? -*LeEi@- Only when we do "it" on the Tilt-a-Whirl. Why does my dog chew on his feet? -from The MagicalMisti- Rejected. Even though I was glad that Misti didn't mention some other weird things that dogs do. Why does a Rachel never look the same on you as it does on her? -anonymous visitor- Jeepers, it does with my Jennifer mask on. Coke Or Pepsi????? -anonymous visitor- Not thirsty, thanks.

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