wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #28 Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!

OK, totally and completely serious. No, not really. Anyway. If I sent Joe Torre a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers and requested he wear them at a game, do you think he would? -Fred The Stick Figure- Not sure who "Joe Torre" is however, feared using this question might prompt him to beat us to a pulp. Can astrology help you find your soulmate? -starbaby- Rejected. Feared "starbaby" might be a Libra. for a guy????? what do a girl use the most from u but u very seldom use your self............ what the thing that u very seldom use by your self but your wife will use alot more time???????? -anonymous visitor- Rejected due to total bastardization of the English language. do you think bob dole eats dog food i think so! -person named fred- Visitor answered own question. What is 12 in hexadecimal???? 1) 0xc? 2) Oxford? 3) Go to hell you computer nerd 4) 00001100 -Phat@$$- Question too mathematical. When walking out the in door, do I hold my breath or just play the air guitar? -anonymous visitor- Rejected. Visitor probably asphyxiated by now. Whammy!!!!!!! -Platipus- Question too exciting. Don't you feel guilty? -anonymous visitor- Already apologized to old school chum about mop handle. Is premature ejaculation in your genes? -pete- Question too messy. why? -Junior- Question too general. Since balding men have are considered more attractive now than ever before, shouldn't Mr. Clean be the ultimate man? Or is his attitude just too mean? -Studd- Shaved entire kitchen, still didn't fully understand question. This question has been haunting me ever since I saw "Alice in Wonderland" as a small child... perhaps it influenced my choice of a handle... For god's sake, why, WHY is a Raven like a writing desk?!?!?!! Please help end the torment. (Maybe it could be on the Poll?) -Raven- Rejected. Using this question as a bookmark. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -anonymous visitor- Goodness! A woodchuck question. One time, when I was outside I suddenly realized just how bright the sun was! I was so enthused, that I just sat there and started at the sun for 4 hours. Needless to say, I am blind, and my left leg doesn't seem to respond to mental commands. Any suggestions? -anonymous visitor- Couldn't figure out how sight impaired visitor typed question. If a chicken and a half laid an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take for a grass hopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? -Bryan Hopswell Vice President Market Research Grass Hopper Prosthetics R-US- Almost always reject questions from "Vice President of Market Research of Grass Hopper Prosthetics R-US." Why is it that everyone I meet in a chat room asks, "Do you want to be the girl or can I?" -anonymous visitor- Feared this may actually be last person I talked with on Friday at club coolium. If checks were made out of iron instead of paper, would it still be illegal to forge them? -pete- Forgot question after getting clobbered and suffering a concussion resulting from bounced check. no comment -anonymous visitor- OK, no wacky answer. How come you two are just so darn sexy? Is that a vegetable thing or something? -simian- Didn't wish to lead monkey visitor on. My sister asked me this once and I'm still baffeled. Why are their directions on hand soap? What did you learn first to read or to wash your hands. I believe That this is nothing but a waste of ink on the packaging What do you think? -SLY- Liked this question, however, needed it to fill rejected page quota. If you had four eyes would you be smarter then a horse? -anonymous visitor- Just plain didn't get it. Do I have a question? -Looper- Yes but we didn't have an answer. What would you do for a Klondike Bar? -anonymous visitor- Been there, done that. I'm going to Houston next yesterday. Where can I get some good hookers? McDonalds or Burger King? -Cardeenul- Think silly visitor might simply be going to "Houston for Hookers and Burgers." Where have you been all my life? -anonymous visitor- Hiding. What''s the deal with that Sting guy lately? I mean the guy on TNT "Monday Nitro" who's started dressing like The Crow, not the ex-Police guy who's always trying to save the rain forests and...oh never mind. -anonymous visitor- Visitor said to never mind. (Kids don't try this at home!) What happens when you use hydrogen peroxide for a mouth wash? A. You vomit B. You act like a dog with rabies C. You drool on your shirt D. You run around spitting on people E. Your teeth turn pearly white F. Your whole mouth turns white. G. All of the above -anonymous visitor- Visitor forgot to include "H. Your mouth foams up and you explode." Rate this question on a scale of 1 to 10. How stupid is this question. Also, your answer must be in the form of a question... -anonymous visitor- 10? Why isn't the word phonetic spelled phonetically? -anonymous visitor- Reejectid. Kwestshon mayd no sens. Why are there so many conspiracies movies and actual conspiracies happening? -Reptile P.S. This is NOT a fbi government conspiracy asking about peoples thoughts on conspiracies just to see if they are arware of our plans.. Err.. Where's my backspace key? Oh well.. Arghh..- Visitors name too confusing. So, if I used palmolive dish detergent to wash my hair, it would get out the grease while softening my hands? -That's Mr. Anonymous to you- A little ticked about this one. Washed my hair with Palmolive, now I look like Madge. (You're soaking in it!) If Christopher Columbus was trying to get to China... Would we have Chindians?? -Joy- Thought visitor might simply have spelled "Canadians" wrong. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? -Jason- Rejected question after blowing up local gas station. Where does belly button lint come from? -anonymous visitor- Escaped dryer lint. Well, my favorite position includes the stairs, the game of Twister, a pitcher of beer, a picture of Oprah, a pair of squash rackets and 3 goldfish (for the proper mood...play the theme to Bonanza in the background). Thanks for asking. -J.B.- Sexually bizarre. which music note do like more, lala or lalala or lala orlalalalalalA -freddy bob joe- Visitor had too many first names. HELP!!!!! i've been on the computer so long i forgot what the "outside world" likes like. is there one or are just those people in the chat rooms making it up?? oh and how do you take a "bath" -from: oh no!! whats my name i think it's cpuWiz no thats my handle! um, lets just say it's Bob- Not sure what visitor was referring to with "outside world." If God exists, why do bad things happen? -anonymous visitor- You mean like this question being rejected? What percentage of Web pages contain a reference to Captain Kirk? -anonymous visitor- Not enough. Why do drive-thu ATM machines have brail on them??? -MC Smoove- ATM machine question now in heated battle with forest/tree-fall for most asked never answer question. Is a bluebird blue? -Jim Corona- Question too foul. Have ya heard of Samsville IL? -Kashew- Visitor had nutty name. Sparky, Have you ever thought about taking a stripping job where you get payed by how many layers you take off?? -Dark-brown-purple-flippity-floppity-thingamajig- Rejected. Think this may not be visitors real name. I noticed a shoe question when I was reading the questions, (Duh) along those lines, here in Florida the popular place to lose your shoes (both tied together) is on the electrical wires. Why is this and how do they get them up there and hanging evenly? -Spitster- Avoiding electrical questions until I have all the Time Life handy man volumes. What's the best way to dispose of a dead body? -anonymous visitor- Question too stolen. Why are nuclear missles called peace keeping? -anonymous visitor- Armadillo peed on question. Q: If nessecity is the mother of invention, what is the father? A: Laziness -ATRAIN- Visitor answered own question. How do they put the carmel inside the caramilk®? -anonymous visitor- Neighbor borrowed question for cookie recipe.

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