wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #27 Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!

See why we have a new name. What would you like to do to people who spell cool as "kewl" and boys as "boyz" and keep on spelling things wrong for a "cute" effect¿ -Jump on their skull many, many times -Keep saying "Y`know what? You can kiss my ass, cowboy!" over and over and over. -Repeatedly play Roseanne's singing of the national anthem to them. -Give em a billion papper cuts, drop em in a big ol pool o rubbing alcohol. -Wet willies. Lots of em. submitted by DEATHEAVEN/Hazer6504 yeah baby! cmon, gimme some credit!- Rejected, was not absolutely positive where the question ended and the name began. If gravity exist, why? -anonymous visitor- Dropped question. Is it less socially acceptable to smear your face with cool whip and claim your name is XxaAxdar or to eat a stuffed walrus while sitting on top of a schoolbus? I need to know soon...my life isnt very "wak-y" lately, and I need some tomatoes thrown at me. -Fred The Stick Figure- Question too messy. I was playing with a leaf blower the other day and as I set it down, I lost my balance causing the attachment on the end to form an airtight seal against my butt. Simultaneously, a branch on the ground got hung up on the trigger causing the blower to engage as I fell back subsequently popping my eyeballs out of my head. The advantage is I've got snail vision and can see in two directions at once, but my eyes have gotten really dry and sore since I can't blink. What should I do? -Jason- Almost always reject questions from clumsy snail men. I am shocked. I went to the Comedy Zone to read the interview with Sparky and instead of an onionhead, there was a picture of some guy with a butt (cigarette that is) hanging out of his mouth! Is this really the webmaster or just the guy who mows the URL into the lawn? -LB- Forgot question after dropping cigarette in lap. If I spank my monkey in the driveway of a forest, and nobody is around, how come there's shorter word for 'abbreviation'? I think I've been reading the past questions too much -Mick (from Holland)- Just couldn't come up with neat concise snappy answer. Hey Sparky, are those new pants you're wearing? -SpunkyMunky- Rejected, we can only wear hats. Without a body, pants just sort of float there. How many Minnesota Vikings does it take to put in a light bulb. None, they don't care if its blacked out. -anonymous visitor- Visitor answered own question. Besides thought all Vikings lived in Norway. Why do people lose their brains on entering an airport? Example - When asked how many bags they are checking they respond by asking if that includes their carry ons too? -The Big Sister who spends way too much time at airports- Still searching all over O'Hare for my frontal lobe. My cat's pyjamas are gray with white stripes. How bout yours? -LB- Got clawed to pieces after attempting to put lacy pink ones on cat, "Bruno." In the old cartoon "Beanie and Cecil," what kind of animal(?) was Cecil? -theProfiler- Think Cecil might have been big worm. Looked in attic for old TV to see if I could find out. No luck. Dear herbo sapiens (that's vegetables, to all of you who didn't study Geek at school.) ....that's you guys, Sparky and Spanky. Anyways, I...I...I really wanted to submit a question again this week, but couldn't think of one. Is that...y'know...okay? And does me asking if it's okay qualify as a question, or just a paradox? -Cheesebutt (the undercover crawdad)- Cheesebutt sent in too many questions. What type of underwear do your prefer? Boxers or briefs? -anonymous visitor- Briefs in boxes. If Jack helped you off a horse, would you help Jack off a horse? -anonymous visitor- Of course, it's obvious that Jack is a good friend. I've heard that nature abhors a vacuum, but I wasn't told which one. Is it a particular brand like Hoover or Eureka that it hates, or is just one peson's vacuum, for instance, my Regina 2100 or my Mother's Panasonic 4460? -Jason- Question accidentally got sucked out of airlock. Why do we need hardware really? -Beata- To nail these questions to the rejected page. Oops, follow up... What's all this --"it's not the Globe that's making the offer, it's some guy named Fred. I hear it's up to ten mil for a good shot of the Spice Girls too."-- stuff? I would *never* offer that much for...the Spice Slut- er, the Spice Children. That's just OBSCENE. I would, however, offer 10 mil for pics of Spanky. Wink-wink nudge-nudge and all that. -Fred The Stick Figure- Fred, Fred, Fred. If the paparazzi take Spanky's picture, she'll die in a horrible car crash. Sporky, Please thank SpunkyMunky for showing concern as to my whereabouts. Also, please inform SpunkyMunky that I had been hospitalized for two weeks as a result of a particularly nasty incident involving a toaster, a 40 yard roll of duct tape, a 55 gallon drum of rubber cement, my cat and a severe electrical storm. The doctors say I'll probably stop sticking to things around the early part of 2006. . .My cat wasn't so lucky. -Jason- Visitor misspelled "Sparky's" name. Rarely use questions from cat killers anyway. How much is too much? -anonymous visitor- Too much is a lot, a little bit is not enough, question too small. When someone tells you to do something NOW, you can't cuz "NOW" is over. what's with that? -anonymous visitor- Wanted to answer question now, but it was too late. The latest rumor that i've heard was that Barbie® has had plastic surgery. Is this true? -anonymous visitor- Already had "wacky" Barbie question this week and a picture too. who am i? -anonymous visitor- Visitor forgot to include name. : ;The ;;;semi; colon key on my key board always ;;;gets stuck, as well as so;me other ;keys, the semi colon is currently ;stuck. Well, I nee;d a;;dvice, on h;ow to train these keys to wait ;until; they a;;re pu;;;sh;;;;;;;;;;ed! please help! This is not a test! I repeat! This is not a TEST!!!!!!; -;;;;;- Interesting question, but rejected it anyway.

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