wwwVOice Humor Zine|
Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
If a man speaks in the forest and a woman is not around to hear him, is he still wrong?
-Tresa (No, I didn't forget to buy a vowel)-
Couldn't answer. Still arguing with Spanky about answer.
How about that Space Station Mir? Geeze, those wacky Russians sure know how to build 'em, huh?
Fear ticking off Russians might lead to stern action from big woman named Olga.
Hello. I'm Ted Kopple and this......
.......................................... is nightline.
This just in. Otter makes it into manhole after legislature denies having any cause for the tragic...... happening. Ending on a sunny-side up kind of note, a Windows '98 manufacturing company is on trial for allegedly posting a nude picture of Bill Gates on the windows start-up screen. Gates wasn't available for comment but, he stated to another media giant, The Enquirer, that he was never a Playmate. And that was news tonight.
Rejected. Visitor with "smiley" name forgot question mark.
If a fish net catches fish what does a hornet catch.
Question accidentally got shredded in wacky-o-matic.
-I didn't forget the question mark-
Apparently, visitor just hasn't grasped the whole "question/answer" concept yet.
Why do birds sing so gay?
Feared possible backlash from fowl homosexual bird coalition.
If you think you're in denial, are you really?
Nope, nope. Never got this question.
Hey Sparky - Are you and Spanky related? Can onions actually be related? Or are you married?
Visitor too nosey.
Sparky: Since DukeNukem forever will feature the Quake Engine do you think Duke will look nice as a polygonal figure??? Also do you think it will beat QuakeII in sales, after the infamous Shadow Warriors.
-Once AGAIN Phat@$$-
I think so. But I'm rejecting this question anyway.
Recently, I bought a brand new Whatsibob (TM). I tried to slave it to my Uranus Webputer and I keep getting a "thank you for buying Netscrappy 7.3" messages. Has this ever happened to you? If so what did you do to stop it from happening again?
You need to put a book of matches underneath the left side of your monitor.
Oh, come on Sparky. There's no need to be jealous. Can't Spanky just give Munky C. and Munky Doo a chance? I'm even sending their pictures. Give 'em a try Spanky! They would have written themselves, but they can't type as good as me.
Rejected. Question is in regard to date with Spanky. Enjoyed "wacky" primate pictures however, question just not tropical enough.
do the people that ask hot dog and bun questions ever actually buy hot dogs and buns?
Hey Sparky! YOU'RE SELLING SPANKY?!?!?!?! That makes me want to cry! (over onion juice, that is) I think I'll dice her up, and throw the little chunks in my salad. I'll pay any price! Thanks a million (dollers if you want)!
Rejected. Spanky no longer for sale.
So Sparky, tell me... Are you going to sell raffle tickets for the chance to win Spanky? Or should I just give you my weekly allowance for the next zillion years. Or should I just steal her away from you? (Or would I even NEED to steal her?)
Not sure what "Reptile" wants zany sidekick for.
Can I have the bragging rights for the longest answer (that you have provided) for my question on meatier showers?
-Jim E. Karter-
Believe longest answer may actually be this one.
Sparky: If someone said "mihi inspiras!" how would you answer back???
K pasta... dude!
Oh great Jedi Onions, Don't you hate foods with the word "Whiz" in their name?
-Bugbite (may the force, equal and opposite, be with you)-
Question too "Cheezy."
We hear all this talk in the news about silicon breast implants not being safe. What about gelatinous butt implants?
-Snaggletooth and I still need to do something about my butt-
Yo, Snaggletooth. The Big Butt Extravaganza is over, all gone, nada, zip, bye-bye. Okay?
Did you know that 1 beer offers the same nutrients as a sandwich?
I had no idea!
OK. So. Would you rather pay your RENT, or would you rather listen to RENT. Or listen to your RENT. Which I don't quite understand, but you might. Mightn't you?
-Fred The Stick Figure-
Fred? FRED?! What the hell is this?
How come when you feed an aquarium fish that flaky food made from ocean fishes its okay, but if you feed your next-door neighboor flaky food made from your neighboor across the street, it isnt?
Overfed goldfish. Forgot all about question while cleaning up fish bits.
How come NetScrappy 3.1 is better than 4.01?
Something to do with golf I think.
Why hasn't my page been selektid as a Bud uGlly Site of the day yet? I have submitted it several tymes, and I evin sent the donuts alreddy two. What is up with it? Can you help me out?
-Saddend by not being uGlLy enuff-
Bud's an idiot.
What will be next weeks lottery numbers?
Keeping it a secret all to ourselves.
who are those people that go around taking pictures of giraffes gettin it on and then making a story in National Geographic about it?
I dunno. I just saw a lot of pictures of naked natives.
Why do dogs have wet noses?
Saving question for "Big Wet Nose Extravaganza."
1. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
2. Are you human?
3. Do you know how to play a kazoo?
4. If Samurai Chicken Lady and Mr. Banana got in a fight, who would win???
5. Boxers or briefs?
Too many questions. (briefs)
Question : which golfers hit there balls the farthest?
c. tom kite
d. joohn daley
Forgot about question after shattering neighbor's window.
What do onions such as yourselves use for mouthwash?
Soy sauce. It's next to us in the cabinet.
Why is Bill Clinton so tall? Why not short?
Couldn't find time in busy schedule to measure "big" Commander-In-Chief.