wwwVOice Humor Zine
The Rejected Question Archive : #24
Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!




R E J E C T
If a man speaks in the forest and a woman is not around to hear him, is he still wrong?
-Tresa (No, I didn't forget to buy a vowel)-
Couldn't answer. Still arguing with Spanky about answer.


R E J E C T
How about that Space Station Mir? Geeze, those wacky Russians sure know how to build 'em, huh?
-simian-
Fear ticking off Russians might lead to stern action from big woman named Olga.


R E J E C T
Hello. I'm Ted Kopple and this......
.......................................... is nightline.
This just in. Otter makes it into manhole after legislature denies having any cause for the tragic...... happening. Ending on a sunny-side up kind of note, a Windows '98 manufacturing company is on trial for allegedly posting a nude picture of Bill Gates on the windows start-up screen. Gates wasn't available for comment but, he stated to another media giant, The Enquirer, that he was never a Playmate. And that was news tonight.
-:-
Rejected. Visitor with "smiley" name forgot question mark.


R E J E C T
If a fish net catches fish what does a hornet catch.
-anonymous visitor-
Question accidentally got shredded in wacky-o-matic.


R E J E C T
NGroihtio4hjg84yOHF89YH88y8943hYt98ehueght8h8?????????
-I didn't forget the question mark-
Apparently, visitor just hasn't grasped the whole "question/answer" concept yet.


R E J E C T
Why do birds sing so gay?
-Billy Anderson-
Feared possible backlash from fowl homosexual bird coalition.


R E J E C T
If you think you're in denial, are you really?
-anonymous visitor-
Nope, nope. Never got this question.


R E J E C T
Hey Sparky - Are you and Spanky related? Can onions actually be related? Or are you married?
-Wonderingly, Scrubbles.-
Visitor too nosey.


R E J E C T
Sparky: Since DukeNukem forever will feature the Quake Engine do you think Duke will look nice as a polygonal figure??? Also do you think it will beat QuakeII in sales, after the infamous Shadow Warriors.
-Once AGAIN Phat@$$-
I think so. But I'm rejecting this question anyway.


R E J E C T
Recently, I bought a brand new Whatsibob (TM). I tried to slave it to my Uranus Webputer and I keep getting a "thank you for buying Netscrappy 7.3" messages. Has this ever happened to you? If so what did you do to stop it from happening again?
-anonymous visitor-
You need to put a book of matches underneath the left side of your monitor.


R E J E C T
Oh, come on Sparky. There's no need to be jealous. Can't Spanky just give Munky C. and Munky Doo a chance? I'm even sending their pictures. Give 'em a try Spanky! They would have written themselves, but they can't type as good as me.


-SpunkyMunky-
Rejected. Question is in regard to date with Spanky. Enjoyed "wacky" primate pictures however, question just not tropical enough.


R E J E C T
do the people that ask hot dog and bun questions ever actually buy hot dogs and buns?
-T-bone-
Sexually bizarre.


R E J E C T
Hey Sparky! YOU'RE SELLING SPANKY?!?!?!?! That makes me want to cry! (over onion juice, that is) I think I'll dice her up, and throw the little chunks in my salad. I'll pay any price! Thanks a million (dollers if you want)!
-Culinary Cassy-
Rejected. Spanky no longer for sale.


R E J E C T
So Sparky, tell me... Are you going to sell raffle tickets for the chance to win Spanky? Or should I just give you my weekly allowance for the next zillion years. Or should I just steal her away from you? (Or would I even NEED to steal her?)
-Sincerely, Reptile-
Not sure what "Reptile" wants zany sidekick for.


R E J E C T
Can I have the bragging rights for the longest answer (that you have provided) for my question on meatier showers?
-Jim E. Karter-
Believe longest answer may actually be this one.


R E J E C T
Sparky: If someone said "mihi inspiras!" how would you answer back???
-Phat@$$ -
K pasta... dude!


R E J E C T
Oh great Jedi Onions, Don't you hate foods with the word "Whiz" in their name?
-Bugbite (may the force, equal and opposite, be with you)-
Question too "Cheezy."


R E J E C T
We hear all this talk in the news about silicon breast implants not being safe. What about gelatinous butt implants?
-Snaggletooth and I still need to do something about my butt-
Yo, Snaggletooth. The Big Butt Extravaganza is over, all gone, nada, zip, bye-bye. Okay?


R E J E C T
Did you know that 1 beer offers the same nutrients as a sandwich?
-anonymous visitor-
I had no idea!


R E J E C T
OK. So. Would you rather pay your RENT, or would you rather listen to RENT. Or listen to your RENT. Which I don't quite understand, but you might. Mightn't you?
-Fred The Stick Figure-
Fred? FRED?! What the hell is this?


R E J E C T
How come when you feed an aquarium fish that flaky food made from ocean fishes its okay, but if you feed your next-door neighboor flaky food made from your neighboor across the street, it isnt?
-Nanda(tm)-
Overfed goldfish. Forgot all about question while cleaning up fish bits.


R E J E C T
How come NetScrappy 3.1 is better than 4.01?
-anonymous visitor-
Something to do with golf I think.


R E J E C T
Why hasn't my page been selektid as a Bud uGlly Site of the day yet? I have submitted it several tymes, and I evin sent the donuts alreddy two. What is up with it? Can you help me out?
-Saddend by not being uGlLy enuff-
Bud's an idiot.


R E J E C T
What will be next weeks lottery numbers?
-anonymous visitor-
Keeping it a secret all to ourselves.


R E J E C T
who are those people that go around taking pictures of giraffes gettin it on and then making a story in National Geographic about it?
-MoleStank-
I dunno. I just saw a lot of pictures of naked natives.


R E J E C T
Why do dogs have wet noses?
-anonymous visitor-
Saving question for "Big Wet Nose Extravaganza."


R E J E C T
1. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
2. Are you human?
3. Do you know how to play a kazoo?
4. If Samurai Chicken Lady and Mr. Banana got in a fight, who would win???
5. Boxers or briefs?
-Lisa (lisa.gardinier@worldnet.att.net)-
Too many questions. (briefs)


R E J E C T
Question : which golfers hit there balls the farthest?
a. lebarachie
b.arnold palmer
c. tom kite
d. joohn daley
e.tiger woods
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot about question after shattering neighbor's window.


R E J E C T
What do onions such as yourselves use for mouthwash?
-anonymous visitor-
Soy sauce. It's next to us in the cabinet.


R E J E C T
Why is Bill Clinton so tall? Why not short?
-anonymous visitor-
Couldn't find time in busy schedule to measure "big" Commander-In-Chief.






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