wwwVOice Humor Zine|
Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
If we gave AIDS to all of the big corporate giants in the world how long would it take to get the cure for it?
-Zippy the wonder slug-
Rejected. Beta version would be released immediately. Wasn't sure if full blown cure would show up "20" or "30" seconds later.
Why is it that every box of tropical dots has about three zillion of the nasty yellow ones and one shriveled, decrepit specimen of the awesome blue ones? Why, tell me, why?
Bought box, really "dug" the yellow ones.
It's me again! I'm still mad, and I still want you guys to treat me just like everyone else. I only have one little problem...I can't remember what question I asked you guys in the first place. So, I guess you don't have to answer it after all. But Spanky...would you ever date a monkey? Cause I've got 2 friends (Munky C. and Munky Doo) and they both want you really bad.
Rejected. Feared Spanky might run away with pair of "zany" monkeys.
Sparky, What would you do if you sister URINATED on your lap without her diaper.
Did "wacky" pee pee question last week.
The two of you are very intellegent, did you go to college or are you self taught intellectuals?
Feared visitor might be from college financial office, and collecting on old debts. So no, we never went.
Onions, alien visitors or satanic voyers? You decide.
Or delicious on hamburgers!
Why does it always happen to me??????
What, you mean ending up on the rejected page?
Hi! I was just wondering, how do they get mayonnaise to that chunkey consistency? It just seems too unnatural to me.....
-A random person conserned about clumpy products-
Rejected, visitor seemed unnaturally concern about clumpy products.
Is liquid paper really made out of paper or something else?
- Snaggletooth -
Rejected. Have no idea. Think it might come from milking marshmallows.
Whats that big old "N" stand for in the corner of my web browser? I have it narrowed down to either nucleosynthesis, nymphmaniac, nonagenarian, or nanoplankton.
Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Snuggles the fabric softner bear is REALLY scary?
- simian -
It's just you.
Which is more Evil -- Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear, the Spice Girls, or CCENSOREDr?
Missed big Snuggles "shooting rampage" on the news. (see above question)
Sparky, just wondering, when you and Spanky are in the throes of passion, do you ever, ah you know, use mustard and pickle relish?
Rejected, went out and got new bedroom blinds.
Dear Spanky-n-arky, We just had a baby, and at the sight of the umbilical cord, I had to ponder this question. Given that God created Adam, Adam not being born of a woman, did he have a belly button? A Fan's neighbor...
Already had belly button question this week.
If i go to college in seattle, will the people at microsoft get me?
Are you staying at Bill's house?
If computer monitors expel radiation, and radiation mutates living creatures, then how many trips to wwwVOice would it take for my hands to bond genetically to my keyboard?
One. (bwa ha ha ha ha ha)
As onions do you have to deal with stress of getting a good education, finding and keeping a good job, and starting a family? And if you don't, how do you become an onion?
Rejected. Visitor too nosey.
Can you tell me your birthday and mailing address so I can send you a card or something?
Rejected. Can't fit any more letters in this onion bin.
The PGA Tour. I told you I would get back to you...
Thanks for the punch line Tiger.
Sparky, I have been hangin' out with Spanky in her chat room and she made me forget to send you a love note, I mean, A question last week. Can you please forgive me?? (P.S. I have been waiting for you to show up there, but you never do. Do I scare you or something???)
-that weird chick that is still stalking you-
Rejected, question scared the sCENSOREDt out of me.
I was wondering if the BP in the "BP" Gasoline Stations was short for Butt Picker or Butt Pirate. Thanks for any info!
Who's the best super hero(s):
1. The Tick
2. Sailor Moon
5. Johnny Bravo
6. Might Mouse
Visitor forgot to include "Sparky."
if aliens captured you and told you that they would only free you if you either made out with a gorrilla for four days straight or made out with your mom for four days, what would you do?
Spanky, are you secretly a transvestite?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island was so brilliant, how come he couldn't build a lousy raft?
Not sure, I think it was against union rules.
Why do Hot Dogs come in packages of 8 and Hot Dog Buns come in packages of 12?
Just felt like rejecting wacky wiener question.
Why is it called a Honeymoon? I mean, it's not like you're travelling to the moon to eat honey or something. Maybe the moon used to be covered with honey and bears would somehow get up there and eat it? You know, like "... and the cow jumped over the moon?"
Rejected. Too many questions.
When masturbating with the wet-dry vac, I sometimes feel the need to flip the switch on and off rapidly, but I find that breaks my concentration. Do you know of any "device" that can fluctuate the power (and therefore, the suction) of the vaccuum so that I can concentrate on my activity more? --
-The Reverend Jough Approximately-
Visitor gave us information we probably really didn't need.
Spanky, did you by any chance get your name from the "Little Rascals" Spanky?
Feared visitor might want to "poof" up Spanky's hair like Alfalfas.
Some of the tubers in my kitchen talked to me! I felt kind of guilty when I pureed them. Now what should I do?
Didn't think "Shape them into goofy characters" was good enough answer this week.