wwwVOice Humor Zine|
Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
You make me cry I laugh so hard,... or is that onion smell?
Didn't want to use any "smelly" questions this week.
Hello, I like your site, so I decided to make your letter pretty:).
Well, my question is, If people don't like spam, Why do they
feel they have to criticize it? It really hurts... =( Please leave
us Spams alone!!!!
Didn't wish to inadvertently hurt Little Spammy's feelings with "Spam Sucks" type answer.
At work they told me to use the right glove for the right job. I tried using the right glove but it doesn't fit on my left hand very good, what should I do?
-Rose E. Ribeter-
Rejected. Couldn't think of the "right" answer.
I want to fCENSOREDk you like an animal
Sorry Forest, we're vegetables.
Okay, so I'm reading the back of the cereal box this morning and I come across an ingredient that I can't identify: thiamine mononitrate. What the heck is that? And what is it doing to my liver?
Totally stumped by wacky primate.
Hey, can you teach me how to use dental floss, a shoe lace, and a fountain pen to create a machine gun, like in all the MacGyver episodes?
Forgot question after shooting foot off.
So, Spanky, it seems to be that you are the youngest of the onion team, so does that mean Sparky has certain birthrights for being older?
-just curious about onion birthrights-
Yes, I get to reject this question.
Sparky, Have you ever been married?
Rejected. Sexually bizarre.
Where oh where has my little dog gone? *urp*
Rejected. Culinarily Bizarre.
I'm a bitch, I'm a whiner I'm a whore and a Shriner!
Wasn't so much a question as it was a song.
Hey! I just came back from the Dells! What hotel were you in? Did you go on the Ducks? Did you go to the go-kart place? My brother got in an accident there! Oh, well, hope you had fun! Bye!!
Couldn't answer still haven't dropped film off.
If a fly flew in a school bus at the exact time it started speeding down a hill at 80 mph, how fast would the fly be flying?
Forgot to shut bus windows during big experiment. Fly flew out.
How can a Republican (Newt Gingrich) not be a jerk? I mean the guy even has the nerve to have rich as part of his name. Hey, if Bob Dole was elected and had his way we'd all have to turn the internet off and go to bed at 9:00 o'clock. Hmmm, I wonder if old Bob would lend me $300,000.00 to do something humanitarian? Oh that's right that's the fine fund for old Newt. Damn the luck. Have I made my point yet?
-Jim E. Karter-
Saving question for "Topical-O-Rama" coming next week.
If a tree fell in the forest, and nobody was there except a purple polka dotted chicken, would the spoon ditch the cow and run away with the fork??
Will answer question after "chicken painting" is complete.
Um, theres a lot of pink polka dotted chickens outside my dorr with um guns and pitch forks and stuff. What should i do? HELP!!!!! OUCH!!! MY BUTT!!!!
Visitor misspelled "door."
Spanky and Sparky: If you're sister pisses on you while you're holding her in your lap what do you do?
Visitor said pisses...uhh huh!
If your brake breaks when you try to brake, preventing you from being able to brake with that brake, how do you brake, seeing as how your brake broke when you were trying to brake, but you can't brake with a broken brake, but you might break something if you are unable to brake with the broken brake that broke when you were trying to brake, what would you do?
-I still can't stop-
Figured that "I still can't stop" was probably dead by now.
What is the secret to the success of the band Hanson?
Invited cute little boys over for"big" barbecue, still awaiting RSVP.
Hi! How are you today?
-Smill E. Face-
Do you ever feel like you were reincarnated from one of the Garfields with the suction cup hands?
Stuck question on window, still rejected it.
Do you know a good way to get stuff out of your braces?
Thought visitor wasn't being very toothful. (This question is one of the clues in this months spot the pun contest).
hey why in hell didn't you post my question on either of the lists huh? i'm not good enuff for you now is that it? ANSWER ME DAMNIT!! i'll sue i tell ya i'll SUE!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR..........
-mentally deficient person who needs ..... stuff-
Happy now? (just avoiding big lawsuit)
If there were no gravity, would peanut butter stick to your toungue instead of the roof of your mouth?
Already had "wacky" tongue question this week.
If Mike Brady was such a good architect, why did he build only one bathroom for 6 kids?
Think Brady house may have second bathroom hidden off kitchen for Alice.
If I sat in a vat of tobasco sauce, would I be a Spice Girl too or just a hunk o' burnin' love?
Always reject questions from visitors with "hot" body parts.
Where do onions go when they die? Will you guys be going there? When?
Question a little rude.
What do you call a fish with 2 knees??
Couldn't find wacky punchline in big joke book.
If you were cut open, would you cry because of the pain or because of the onion like stuff that makes your eyes water???
We cut, and cut, and cut, and still you people want more!
What is the terminal velocity for snow?
It's August Chowder Head.
Is it odd that I think I should take up smoking just so I can get those "stop smoking fast" items that are on the market?
-Dave Coffman...potential smoker for the sake of stopping.-
Rejected. Too odd.
Yunno Wad Dime Sain?
Okay Derek, you're on the rejected page. *NOW* what the heck are you going to send in next week?
My gay lover is a cheap trampoline pervert. I want him to shave your url into my ferret's thigh but, Dick, the ferret, won't hold still and wiggles out of my sensuous grasp. What should I do?
Rejected. Spanky fell off trampoline. Spent weekend taking care of her.
Spanky, I'm free any day you want. How Thursday?
Date's off. Still recovering from trampoline accident. (see above question)
If Art means the human ability to make things/creativity, would it doom a child to a life of non-creativity by calling him Art? You know... like a jinx?
Wasn't sure if visitor wanted me to name the kid Jinx or Art?
why does it hurt when i get punched in the breast if i don't even have any??? Do u think i should go buy some??
Always reject questions from "breastless" visitors.
How come my dog is smarter than most of the human males I know????
Forgot about question after spending weekend giving Spot multiple I.Q. tests.
Tell me, what are the best uses for a "spice girls" cd?
Still building new addition on the house. Hope to answer soon.
How was it determined that Plain doesn't taste like anything, When just about anything tastes Just Like Chicken?
Good question, still looking for something that doesn't taste like chicken.
If you were a big burly guy with lots of guns 'n stuff, what would you do first?
Reject this question.
Can I overdose on Riboflavin?
No. Can I overdose on rejected questions?
Spanky/Sparky-- I am too young to be a "Baby Boomer" and I am too old to be a "Generation Xer"...I guess I fall in between the cracks...So, does that make me "Crackers"?
Always whistle while answering questions, naturally this one got rejected.
Hey, if you're just floating heads, how do you type your witty responses to these questions??
Got question late, already had similar one on weekly page. (wow, a real excuse!)