wwwVOice Humor Zine|
Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
Why do you drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?
Oh no, not this again.............. BANG!!!
Slip n' slide or Banana Boat?
Lost interest in question during weekend frenzy with backyard water toys.
If 2 girls adobted a child wich would be the daddy and which would be the mommy?
Found question a little too dykey.
Why doesn't Sparky have his own webpage dedicated entirely to himself?!!? If Spanky has her own, why can't Sparky have his!!!! I think sparky should sue for sexual segregation!!!
Spanky rejected it. And I had the "funniest answer ever" all ready.
Sparky/Spanky (I think you are one and the same), If an onion head decides to touch themself while reading a web page site thingie, where, exactly, does this floating onion head touch? And what happens when, ummm, this floating head type thing, get's off on touching whatever ya touch??
-That weird chick that is still stalking you -- (My boyfriend forced me to watch him look at porno sites, he was touching himself, and uh.... nevermind but what he was doin' made me wonder what a floating head does in the same situation)-
Touched myself and suddenly lost interest in answering question.
Sparky, why is it that people have to sit in driveway and lay into the *bleepin, blankety-blank* horn to get the attention of someone inside the house who is not going to hear except my sleeping child whom I JUST got to sleep?!?!?
Saw the word "horn" and started touching myself again. (See above question)
Sparky and Spanky (I would like both of your opinions) Do you ever wish you were a bird? I do sometimes, except for all those bladder problems... you'd walk up and try to impress a female bird and... whoops!
-Encyclopedia E. Brown-
Forgot question after suffering concussion while attempting to fly out window.
Why do you supose they call a sandwich a sandwich???? I mean, a piece of meat, or some peanut butter, between bread has nothing to do with sand, OR a witch! Please help!!!!
Got hungry, made one of those Jughead sandwiches, forgot question when the pickles fell out.
Why do I feel so funky?
-guy from wisconsin dells-
Feared answering question might lead to inadvertently being "top guy" on the pyramid at the Tommy Bartlett Water Show.
Why would you think anyone but the Skipper was the stupidest, wouldn't you agree he kept setting up Gilligan for failure. And he asked him to go on that 3 hour tour and obviously did not check his refferences.
Agreed with answer, couldn't seem to find question.
Why is the sky blue?
I don't know, I've never actually looked up.
Where is a good place to spank my monkey?
Not here please.
Why can't elephants fly? It'd be pretty cool to look up and quake in your boots at the thought of a flying pachyderm taking target practice on your head, if you know what I mean?
No, it wouldn't be cool.
What happened to your web site? It seems like a flock of wayward sea-gulls trashed the place, stomping all over your lovely backrounds and have you seen the stinky dropings where your tangy humor once rested?
-ZemZem-Hater of birds-
Cleaned up site, kicked pesky birds out.
Spanky, can you tell mr. Jason dude he has just as much of a life, or lack of one as I. And dont judge to soon bro 'cuse you never know what your gonna find when you open up you'r letter box tomorow, and a little bird never told me anything I wanna know she's my best friend she's a sparow....
Checked mail box all day, no sign of birds.
I happen to be drinking a can of 7 Up and have a question concerning it. Why oh why is it 7 Up? Why not 6 Down or 3 Behind or even Seven Up? I just don't get it!!
When writing something with curse words in it, do you mask the word ($#!&), half mask the word (@$$), or simply say 'bleep'?
-Love and Kisses, Fred The Stick Figure -
Rejected, thought it was a bleep bleeping question.
If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question. But what I'd really like to know is; Have you ever stopped to think, and forget to start again???
Stopped to think about his one, forgot question.
My neighbor keeps asking why I mowed the words "our URL" into his lawn. What should I tell him?
Was too high on grass clippings to use question.
Spanky, have you ever really, really, thought about becoming a Spice girl/floating head?
Always reject Spice Girl questions. Until I get a good one.
Spanky, Darlin, you've lost your nose and you're tryin to smell with your tongue.
Didn't like the way question smelled.
Who are the people in your neighborhood?
Liked Fred's question, didn't wish to inadvertently reveal neighbors, Batman and Robin's, secret location.
No one has ever really adequately answered me this question: Why do men and boys (*male* mammals!) have nipples? I mean, they're practically breasts!
And they still haven't.
If a junkie snorts a horse and the probabiltity of this question being rejected tends to the limit of one, do I get a prize?
Yes, your question gets rejected.
They say prostitution is a victemless crime... Then wheres my wallet,YOU GOT MY WALLET BITCH?
Rejected "Wanker's" question.
What happend to Dukakis? Did he disappear into the the unknowingly black hole of unkown people in the world? Or did he just decided to stay out of the public eye because he looked so funny?
-Zippy the wonder slug-
Rejected, trying to keep Mr. Dukakis out of the limelight.
There is a Rialian at my door asking me to give him money to build an intergalactic embassy in Israel for the 'space brothers'; should I give him some money just in case? Please answer this question soon, I have him waiting outside and it's raining....
Rejected, I just didn't get it.
Is the lima bean stuck in my ear because of my sexy ear wax or the voices inside my head?
-The Frapped \%/ geek-
Couldn't relate to question, onions have no ears.
Spanky, Do you adopt? You said that the rabbits ate all your kids and now I have so many kids 'cause the rabbits around here are alllergic to 'em that the have there own refridgerator. Oh! Was i right, Do you live in a refridgerator?
-More screwed up that u and loving it-
Rejected, the light really doesn't go off you know.
Where do flies go in the winter?
Couldn't answer question, broke "snowshoe flyswatter."
The question button says, "OK, here you go sparky". Why isn't there one that says "OK, here you go SPANKY"?
-Friend of Spanky-
Because Sparky made the page, goofy.
Why is paedophilia more socially acceptable than owning a Dodge?
Molested car, forgot question.
If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?
Still squeezing babies to find answer.
Sorry I haven't written you a letter in so long. Do you forgive me??? :)
-sorry about that-
Die..... white.... boy... die....Inhale..... Inhale.....YOU ARE THE VICTIM ...Die ...white boy ...exhale ...exhale... exhale!!!! Do you like Prodigy too????
Chorus: Doo Whop...Doo Whop.
Hi. Are people still laughing at me?
Can't........typee......laughinggg tooooo harrrddd.
Why am I doing this?
It is your deep subconscious need to be rejected.
why is it that we drive on parkways and park on driveways? if seven-elevens are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, then why do they have locks on the door?
Too many of the same old questions.
My friend is going out with a mormon. What should i do?
Don't knock it till you try it!
How do homosexuals sign onto the web?
C : enter # # #
is my giga pet possessed by an evil demon named loomus? it keeps beeping out morse code saying that its the "dark angel of death come rid the world of all which doth not rock"
Would an instrument to groom your feline be a catacomb?
Actually, I am a little pissed off about this one, I brushed the cat all night and all it did was cough up fur balls.
If you had a harem of retarded women, and you gave them oral sex, would that be 'eating your vegetables'?
Do you like Clinton??
I think they really taste great on a salad!
I rear ended a guy on the freeway in a dream I had last night. Are my car insurance rates going to go up? I sure hope the guy I hit is OK.
-Paying too much for car insurance-
Visitor forgot question mark.
Spanky, I deem ur judgement as excelent only when it involves pain so I as you, I am obsessed with this awsomely cute girl I even made a website dedicated to poetry about her. What's the next step? Frapped Lima Bean Dropping
-Reuben Dohn email@example.com-
Rejected, accidentally dropped question in blender.
How can it be hot as hell one day, and cold as hell the next???????