Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
Is Elmo more gayish than Barney?
-Aunty Em-
Rejected. Avoiding "Queer Muppet" questions at this time.
I have an ISDN link and your site is still one of the slowest I've ever visited. Is it perhaps because of all those cake-sucking images?
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor probably a little confused, believe he may have computer hooked up to coffee maker.
Spanky, If you perform a mammogram to check breasts, why isn't a test to determine what's wrong with your TV called a telegram?
-Jason-
Forgot question after attempting to change channels on Spanky's boobs.
What question should I send you?
-anonymous visitor-
Not this one.
Sparky, Is it statistically possible to re-create Shakespeare's greatest works by banging your head randomly on the keyboard?
I've successfully written instructions for the IRS 1040 form that way, but I've never attempted Shakespeare.
-anonymous visitor-
Had wacky answer all ready. Forgot what it was after attempting to pound out new novel.
What changes would you make if you were Hitler?
-weetchex-
Almost always reject questions relating to wacky evil dictators.
At mime schools, do the professors lecture?
-anonymous visitor-
The strangest thing happened to me today, you see my next door neighbor Jason mowed your URL into my lawn then demand 50 bucks for his labor. I said "no way dude!" and he started screaming about how I will "answer to the almighty Spanky" and throwing onions at me. What's wrong with this dude? Is he smoking crack or something?
-Bob-Concerned, Confused-
Forgot question after accidentally slamming head in car door.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy...
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected. Visitor forgot question mark.
Why can't we all just...get along?
-me-
Forgot question on ninth hole at the mini golf.
Are all the people who visit your web site sick and demented?
-zippy the wonder slug.-
Yes, and thanks for noticing!
I'm planning my budget for this week. Should I include bail under "Social/Entertainment Expenses" or just "Miscellaneous"?
-Big Ed-
Tried in vain to answer "Big Ed's" question. For some reason, kept thinking about "Scooby Doo."
Will having Little Debbie Cakes in my kitchen increase my I.Q.,improve my social adaptability, enable me to discourse at length on classical music, and keep me from getting morose during dark winter days when there is not enough sunlight? Or, like, do I have to eat them?
-Marjee-
Forgot question after getting entranced by picture of "darling little girl" on box.
What have you been smoking and where's mine?
-Doop-
Inadvertently burned up question.
I asked you to do one, I mean, 2 simple things, Okay, so maybe I asked you not to do something and asked you TO do something else. I get the feeling that you might have got them confused. Why did you do that?
-weird chick that is offended but still stalking you-
Got even more confused by this question. Wanted to answer it but didn't know where to start.
would you rather lick a lolly pop while watching a supermodel on t.v. or lick a supermodel while watching a lolly pop on t.v.?
-anonymous visitor-
Sexually bizarre.
If you ate a clown, do you think it'd taste funny?
-pete-
They just leave a funny aftertaste. (did it in May)
Did noah keep his bees in ark hives?
-pete-
Saving question for October's "Pun-orama."
If I broke my arm, would it be humerus?
-pete-
Accidentally dropped question in bowl of Cheerios©.
What happened to your web site? It seems like a flock of wayward sea-gulls trashed the place, stomping all over your lovely backrounds and have you seen the stinky dropings where your tangy humor once rested?
-ZemZem-Hater of birds-
Spent all day Saturday propping up umbrellas over "tangy" humor.
Is Spanky a boy or girl?
-Leon-
She's a girl. She has a bow. Pay attention.
Why do you think they call them "head lice"?
-anonymous visitor-
Because they're on your head. Is this a trick question?
How come the duck never crossed the road?
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot standard "wacky" joke book answer.
Are you related to that little Jack in the Box Antenna ball?
-anonymous visitor-
Keeping family tree a secret due to some bad "fruits" in the distant past.
Can I get fired for this?
-anonymous visitor-
Yes you can because you're not doing any work. But it's OK, we hid your question here.
Sparky, Throughout high school, I was often asked this brain-twister: "Why is a spinning mouse?"
-Roger Mexico-
Rejected. Obvious that visitor had troubled childhood.
If the entire leadership of Microsoft (Gates et all) were abducted by aliens, would you be able to get half decent tech support?
-On hold 48 hrs and counting-
Feel Bill probably couldn't be abducted by aliens owing to fact that he probably already is one.
Why isn't phonetically spelt phonetically?
-Just me again-
Liked it. Did it.
Aren't you worried that when people take the quiz and end up on another web site that they're going to get lost and never be able to escape and starve in a vast wasteland of bowties and produce and wither away to nothing more than skeletal remains clutching a tomato wondering if it really is a fruit? Also, can I have a pony? -which came first, the chicken or the egg?-
-anonymous visitor-
No. And, no.
Will it be tomorrow colder than outside?
-Lemuel Gulliver-
Really, really bad question.
Ok, if a bus stops at a bus station, and a train stops at a train station, and my desk has a workstation on it do I really get to stop the work? If so I have done far to much work. Will be waiting for an answer before returning to production of work.
-Jaherb, the Indian Programer-
Question was better than any possible "zany" answer could've been.
Sparky, Why do you insinuate anybody with the name Jethro can't think? I love my husband and he's given me three beatiful children stop picking on his name.
-Ell E. May-
Ell E. May referring to link on poll page. Now considering changing it to Ellie.
Other than golf what would you rather do?
-anonymous visitor-
Mini golf, which is of course simply a smaller version.
If everyone is blind, does color exist?
-the ancient chinese philosopher ONE BALL HUNG LOW-
Almost positive visitor isn't "authentic" Chinese philosopher.
When people come to a set of double doors, and somebody's coming out of one of them, why do people wait for the other people to come out before they go in? Use the other freakin' door, for cryin' out load!
-anonymous visitor-
Not so much a question as sort of a bitchy complaint.
Why do they have interstate roads in Hawaii?
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot question after driving into volcano.
I have ADES. I have HIV positive for month now. It would be my dying wish if you would use me qeustion. How do you get deer to croos at the yellow sign
-anynynymous visidor-
Nice try. Still won't work.
Spanky, can you tell mr. Jason dude he has just as much of a life, or lack of one as I. And dont judge to soon bro 'cuse you never know what your gonna find when you open up you'r letter box tomorow, and a little bird never told me anything I wanna know she's my best friend she's a sparow....
-blue cannary -
Visitor didn't include question.
this are a quessjun for you cool guys and i cant find where to ask it on the page or the other page you know the one you get to on the other one well here is my quessjun anyway gess you get lots ov thees quessjuns huh you know from peeple right not me cos this is my first but you bet i'm coming on back here this is really cool i always wanted dr dreyfuss to answer my quesjuns but he just said relaks and keep still then i got bored and fell to sleep but this is really cool say can i ask another now you no ask you another quessjun while i'm here like this ok here it is but yo can ignor if you like thats it thanks
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected. Really poor punctuation, spelling, grammar, and oh yeah, it's not really a question.