Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
If they somehow built a vehicle that travels the speed of light would lights be of any use?
-Asimacopoulos-
Rejected. Got Pinto up to speed of light, was so excited forgot to turn on headlights.
Does Hanes make underwear for men who have been neutered? (perhaps not as baggy)?
-anonymous visitor-
Already had "underwear" question this week.
Doobie or not Doobie?
-Doobie-
Laughed at question. Rejected it anyway.
What the hell does an onion eat?
-anonymous visitor-
Lost question in bowl of chocolate lizards.
First thanks for answering my first question. Now why is it the smaller the sports car the larger the womens hair?!?!
-anonymous visitor-
Took Wigs out for a nice drive in the country, spent weekend combing knots out.
Why is it ok for men to want to have a one night stand but not women?
-anonymous visitor-
We have two nightstands, thanks.
Are there really THAT many people visiting your site who have nothing better to do with their lives than whine about why one of my dopey questions wasn't rejected and theirs was?
-Jason-
Rejected, looking forward to some whining from Jason.
How much wood could a woodchuck upchuck if that said wood chuck first chucked up a farlie large part of a fighter's head lice, nice in the abstract, but like earwax to the dying when all was said and done? I will kill this wood chuck if you do not select this question. Because, we could still GUESS at the amount of possible up-chucked wood from an examination of the dead critters stomach.
-anonymous visitor-
Say good-bye to the woodchuck for me pal.
Does pete have a life?
-steve-
Frankly Steve, I don't think so. (see question below)
Is Fabio's head too big for his body?
True or False?
Why don't they have chocolate toothpaste?
what you talkin' bout, willis?
If i had to raise money to cure prostate cancer, could i call it the 'Jimmy Fund'?
If America and Canada got into a war, where would all the draft dodgers go?
If I was going to found a nudist colony, wouldn't I have to lose it first?
-pete-
These are all of Pete's questions this week. (sigh)
As I was sitting here, enthralled by a picture of my beloved, Poppin' Fresh, I came to an amazing discovery. My Pillsbury Doughboy of love and happiness bears a striking resembalance to, not other than, Captain James T. Kirk! How is this possible? Are they related? I must know.
-simian-
Rejected, accidentally destroyed roll of crescent rolls with phaser.
Hey can you guys do me a big favor? tell my sister I said hello. I'm sure she reads your page every week, and I have been so buisy lately I just haven't had the time to call her and I even lost her e-mail address. I don't know what to do. Her name is Missy and I'd really like for just this one little favor. PLEASE :)
-BOB SLY-
Hey, Hey, Hey... Hiiiiii Missy!!
If I'm a member of the I Hate Frames Club, and somebody proves that I developed a website with frames, would that mean that I've been framed?
-TM-
Dog peed on question.
Why do I enjoy submitting dumb questions?
-TM-
See above question.
What's up with these ads for Claritin and stuff? They say we might need the drug, but they don't even say what it's for!
-Lord Chamberlain of the Skeksis-
Think "Lord Chamberlain" probably not real royalty.
There's only one phone company here, so why do they need to advertise on tv?
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected to meet the rejected quota this week.
Does you axcep funnny poetree?
-Memy SelfnadI-
We will not accept it in a box, with a fox, here or there, we will not accept it anywhere.
Some say if you die in your sleep you won't know it until the morning. Is this true?
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected, went to sleep still woke up in the morning.
Please Explain - I don't like it!
-Pauline Hanson-
Visitor forgot question mark.
I found a penny. How much is it worth?
-Snaggletooth-
Too much of a coincidence, lost penny on Tuesday.
Will you come over to my house and let me out? It's dark in here.
-Snaggletooth-
Couldn't find Snaggletooth's house, it was too dark.
Why can't you fix your background? It looks fine at 640x480, but at any larger resolution the background tiles horizontally.
-Digissasin-
Tried to change background, accidentally tiled bathroom.
Who would you rather see naked?
Weird Al
President Clinton
Chris Farley
Roseanne
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor forgot to include "big burly guy with lots of guns and stuff."
Spanky are you a cross dresser because you dress the same as Sparky. Or is Sparky the cross dresser? Have you seen the website of a guy in the ball gowns? he's one hot looking babe/dude.
-thinking about having a sex change just to scare someone-
Did not wish to encourage visitor to have sex change, think he/she is scary enough.
Spanky Is burger King married to Dairy Queen? If so, is Mc Donalds their prince??? Is their family so screwed up that the English parents somehow managed to have a scottish son??
-more screwed up than u and loving it-
Got hungry went to drive-thru.
Do I have something in my teeth?
-SpunkyMunky-
Monkeys can't read, didn't bother answering.
I was asleep one nite and i overheard two rubbermen talking to each other and if a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, then how come the monkey with a wooden leg can kick all the seeds out of that dill pickle by the Pinto? and see, that confused me as usual so i woke up and turned on the light which never works and i was surrounded by tribbles...in the future what wattage of bulb should i be using to avoid this sort of incident? see i was thinking maybe 40 watt,i'm an energy conscious kinda moleguy but i hear these things make all the difference. anyway i need to know before they come back.
-thanks, mole stank-
60 watts, Thanks.
Could you explain SPORKS? Is it a Spoon with teeth or is it a fork that doesn't work?
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot question after breaking spork in Cheez Whiz.
Spanky, my mom told me if I was good she would give me a nickel. I said thats ok mommy I'll be good for nothing. She laughed but I can't figure out why. Can you help me and tell me why she laughed?
-Little Boy Blue-
Always reject questions from visitors who are good for nothing.
I've been thinking (not something I do that often, so you'd better appreciate this.) Snot.If you took all the snot ever created, and put it in a pile, well, it'd be really really really really big. If scientists came up with a way to use snot as a power source, then the world's energy crisis would be over! All yoyu'd have to do is sneeze into this little tube, and your house would be powered for a month! Do you think this is a good idea? If so, know any scientists I could contact?
-Da Raven-
Yeeeeeeeech!
I saw a news special on t.v. about a place we can all visit but we'd have to pay exhorbitant amounts of money just to get on a list. i put my name on the list and then i forgot it's name. it's something to do with birds or a bird box. do you know? i really don't want to lose my 43 dollars.
- bird box-
We have the address and it will only cost you $147.00
an arsenault of nuclear bombs!!! where????
-bumbumbumbumbumbumbum-
Feared possible, potential "big explosion"
if free will exists, and we do have a choice, then why do we say " i did this because..." doesn't this imply cause and effect and that we are forced to do things based on certain determinants?
-feeling very small-
Lost will to answer question.
Geeeeeze... now I have to wait 1.5 weeks for you to sign my guestbook??? (don't forget to be funny, dammit) I know that you know who I am.... I sent pictures of myself covered in chocolate, sent you donuts, I signed everything that you have to sign, I answer questions, I send in questions, and YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?? I can't believe it Here is my url, just don't pass it out to anyone, okay?? http://pages.prodigy.com/OK/smores/smores.html
-the wierd chick that is stalking you and is NOW offended-
Okay.
How could a republican not be a jerk? Why do you think the beatles broke up? Did you ever notice how a lot of democrats have been killed because they can't be converted to be a republican? If people were money would you be licking the inside of Bill Gates' wallet? Have I made my point?
-Jim E. Karter-
Damit Jim, too many questions.
Sparky, Howcome when you want to get the contest entry form off a back of a Coke label, the label always rips to shreds when you try?
-anonymous visitor-
Peeled labels off everything in the kitchen, got confused after drinking jar of pickles.
Why does the label on a Coke bottle always peel into strips when you try to get the contest entry form on the back??
-anonymous visitor-
See above question.
Is it true the world is a puzzle missing a peace?
-Stitch-
Too deep.
Is Marilyn Manson really the kid on Home Alone?
-Claude Balls-
Reject all cute kid actor questions.
the nutcracker is..
a) a christmas ballet starring macaulay culkin
b) a small squirrel like animal that stores food in trees
c) a secret death move in tae kwon do
d) a piece of classical music composed in russia
-from supercal-
See above question.
Do gummie bears ward off any animals or beings?
-anonymous visitor-
Had gummie bears, forgot question while prying teeth apart.
Dear Sparky, Where do onions go to vacation?
-Rutabaga boy-
Bermuda where all onions go to get a tan.
What are the most popular shapes of Lucky Charm marshmallows?
-Mrs Esterhouse-
Pink stars... no wait... green clovers... hold on... blue diamonds?
What do you think of my homepage? http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Zone/7383/index.html
-: )-
Visitor had funny name.
Is Spanky a boy or girl?
-Aunt Bee-
Girl... duh.
If two trains are sent off from two DIFFERENT places at the EXACT same time, which one will get there first?
-Put my name where?-
Couldn't answer question, broke train set while running over X-Men figures.
Have my balls been accounted for?
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot question while counting own balls.
Spandex. It's like leather right?
-anonymous visitor-
Still stuck in these pants.
I have ADES. I have hiv positive for a month now. It would mean a lot to me if You could put this question in the poll. How do they get deer to cross at the yellow sign?
-anonymous visitor-
Nice Try!
What would you do to me if I plagiarized your zigzag background and used it for a highly profitable commercial website?
-anonymous visitor-
Admire your page even more.
HHHHHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPP!!! I've been trapped inside THESE frames for days now and there's this new window that keeps coming back no matter how often I close it... I'm tired, I'm hungry.... What I wanna know is, I have some milk, if I pour it on all the http cookies coming at me non stop, will that have any nutritional value?
-MartyC-
No time check so many websites, must answer more questions.
What makes Spam so Spamilicious?
-weetchex-
It's lots of the super special spice...salt.
Spanky--Did anyone ever tell you that you kinda look like Jenny McCarthy with your tongue all hanging out like that?
-anonymous visitor-
Didn't wish to inadvertently reveal recent cardoor/tongue accident.
Dear Sparky, How do I breathe with this thing in my mouth???
-the guy who was... well, u know the rest-
Sexually bizarre.
Why does my sister think that the cruze control steers the car?
-anonymous visitor-
Is she blonde?
When is it OK to speak in a Restroom???
-anonymous visitor-
While you are shaking the drops off.
Ok i know this is stupid but who made words?!?!
-Just curious - xoxoxoxoxox-
First part of visitors question was correct, rejected second part.
Spanky, did you ever go to college and if yes where and how long did it take for you to graduate?
-anonymous visitor-
Lost diploma in poker game.
who would like to fish'n naked with
-anonymous visitor-
Babe Winkleman of course.
Hello?? knock knock knock....Hello?? Hey! Why are all your shades pulled down...I can see you guys in there walking around....Helloooooo???
-The Publisher's Clearing House Cameraperson-
Fear Megan may be loosing it.