Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
Do u like blonds, readheads or brunettes better??
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected. Visitor is probably unaware that Sparky is color blind due to bad childhood accident involving rake, Hippity-Hop© and bucket of chicken eggs.
When is the big "What the Heck" Extravaganza week, and why not "What the Hell"?
-anonymous visitor-
Exciting "What the Heck" week coming soon, when we're on vacation and you all wonder "where the heck" we are.
Sparky, Wait! No! Don't end it yet. I need to know. Where did we get the expression: "you don't know your ass from a hole in ground"?
-a BBE (big butt extravaganza) junkie.-
Rejected, lost question in, I'm not sure but I think it was a hole in the ground.
You had a person that wanted the lyrics to MMMbop by Hanson and wanted to know how long to cook a steak. Here are the answers:
You have so many relationships in this life,
Only one or two will last,
You're going through all this pain and strife,
And you turn your back and they're gone so fast,
Oh yeah!
And they're gone so fast.
So hold on to the ones that really care,
In the end they'll be the only ones there,
When you get old start losing your hair,
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care? O-ooh,
Care
(CHORUS)
Mmmbop, ba duba dop,
Ba du bop, ba duba dop,
Ba du bop, ba duba dop,
Ba du
Mmmbop, ba duba dop,
Ba du bop, ba duba dop,
Ba du bop, ba duba dop,
Ba du
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose,
You can plant any one of those,
Keep planting to find out which one grows,
It's a secret no one knows,
It's a secret no one knows.
Chorus
In a mmmbop they're gone, in a mmmbop they're not there,
In a mmmbop they're gone, in a mmmbop they're not there,
Until you lose your hair, but you don't care
Chorus
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
(..............You say you can but you don't know)
Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?
(..............You say you can but you don't know)
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
(..............You say you can but you don't know)
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
You don't know uh, you don't know uh
Mmmbop.
Du bop
Mmmbop
Du Yeahh
Mmmbop ohhhohh
Du bop
Mmmbop
Du
Yeah yeah.
Chorus
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
You say you can don't know.
Damn that took long. Not really but, still. Also, cook meat at 400 degress F. And under no circumstances sing Mmmbop while cooking meat, the FDA says that doing that is a hazard to your health.
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected. No time sing big song.
Okay, I was having this really cool dream about Bill Gates dressed only in a bright yellow speedo, holding a small dog in one hand and the severed head of Barney in the other, and he was totally manly and, oh, uh, this isn't the On-Line Therapy Page? Oh, gosh. Uh, well, ah, just forget it then, okay? I'm so embarrassed...
-simian-
Had same dream. Rejected, fear I might be sending in all the questions myself.
Please, please, pretty please can this make the Rejected page??
-anonymous visitor-
Already had question this week that wanted to be rejected.
Not sure where you are going with this month's questions. I'm sure you'll figure I lied about not visiting naked picture sites, but it's the truth - I haven't had the energy. And I don't think Rush Limbaugh is a jerk - I don't believe a word he says but I do find him mildly entertaining once a decade.
-The big sister-
Enjoyed whining and bitching from "big sister." Rejected question just to tick her off.
Are Barney the Dinosaur and Grimus, the purple guy who pushes McDonald's sedo-eatable shakes, related to each other?
-simian-
Rejected, saw bad vision of possible new Michael Crichton film.
What would grasshopper's be called if they lived in the desert?
-anonymous visitor-
"Big Bug Extravaganza" still on drawing board.
Hey Macarena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor seemed too excited.
I just ran out of vasoline. Can I use butter instead?
-*butt,butt,butt*-
Question missed "Butt Extravaganza" inclusion by mere seconds.
I hate Karrieokiebars... so I wouldn't do anything to get one.
-I refuse to tell you who I am-
"I refuse to tell you who I am" misread question page.
Spanky, Are you called Spanky because you like to act "bad" and have Sparky, uh, um, er, well, you know?
-Jason-
Sexually bizarre.
Sparky, I inadvertently left my cat in the freezer overnight. Should I use the microwave to thaw it out?
-Jason-
Rejected, already had "zany" cat question this week.
If i started a nursing home for gays and retarded people, would a suitable name be "Fruits and Vegetables" ?
-pete-
Rejected, politically retarded.
A Twinky is an evil "pastry" that is made almost exclusively of sugar, chemicals, and yellow5. Contrary to popular belief, Twinkies are never actually baked nor cooked in any other way known to modern science. A disgusting layer of artificial sweetened bread surrounds a sickeningly sweet glob of "cream filling". Some people may have heard of the infamous "Twinky defense" in which an actual lawyer claimed that his client was not responsible for killing someone because eating too many Twinkies had affected his brain. Although Twinkies are evil, they can't do that much damage but I would strongly advise you to stay as far away from them as possible.
-Brak-
Not only staying away from Twinkies, also avoiding Twinkie questions.
Why don't they advertise beer on Nickelodeon?
-pete-
Forgot question after getting drunk and watching old Mary Tyler Moore show.
What gives you the worst taste in the world:
- smoking cigarettes and drinking milk
- drinking beer and eating Oreos
- burping up onion rings and hot fudge sundaes
- drinking tequila and eating apple pie
- your choice here
-anonymous visitor-
Question tasted bad.
I like you. Can I have a cookie?
-Snaggletooth-
Not giving away any treats at this time.
What is falafel? It sounds like a disease.
-simian-
Couldn't find latex gloves to wear while answering question.
Where did the bow come from, Spanky?
-anonymous visitor-
Didn't want visitors to know that it's stapled on her head.
Dear Sparky, My friends have recommended smoking hash, can you tell me how to light the roast beef?
-the guy who was elated to find one of his questions in the archives-
Rejected question after big flaming dinner party.
Can pickles save the world?
-anonymous visitor-
Question to topical.
um..........hi!
-anonymous visitor-
Hi! you're rejected.
There seems to be so much to do about butts that I was wondering do Spanky and Sparky have butts?
-B. Hole-
Yo man, we're floating heads.
What's my favorite colour?
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected, left crayons in car window Tuesday.
What came first the chicken or the egg? I like to think my sister did first.
-anonymous visitor-
Didn't get it.
Dear Spanky, my boyfriends a good kisser how about you?
-boyfriend's girlfriend who wants to know-
Kissed all the questions this week, still couldn't find answer.
Sparky, Uh,...is this your first time bagging groceries?
-(Just between you and me...)-
"Just between you and me" probably just mad about putting canned goods on top of bread.
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening all over this land. I'd hammer out danger, I'd hammer out warning, I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters.....sheesh, my arm's getting tired.
-Arm-n-Hammer-
Question too musical.
my mommy gave me a spanky when i was 5. does it still hurt like it did then?
-elvis shortliver-
Rejected, I've learned to live with the pain.
Would Angela Lansbury go out with me if I sang "Sweeney Todd" over and over incesently?
-Bill Gates-
Feared possible appearance of obnoxious singing Bill Gates.
Are you from Mecca 305? Help me I'm retarted...........
-anonymous visitor-
Almost always reject retarded visitors.
Am I going to win lotto?
-anonymous visitor-
Lost question under all my tickets.
how do you make cheese?
-ray d. owe-
Didn't wish to inadvertently reveal super secret cheese recipe.
I really like, hate, the uh, like way, like teens sort of like you know talk and like I really like spam and like um does um Bill Gates eat spam and like um that's all and like um hi and um bye.
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor forgot question mark.
Is it normal when someone (that would be me) passes a poster of the Spice Girls and suddenly want to commit suicide?
-Suicidal Because of Spice-
Visitor forgot "s" in wants.
If Bill Gates visited your house you would:
A)Throw spam at him
B)Throw your computer (which has Windows 95) at him
C)Have him sumo wrestle Rush
D)Torn between the descision of throwing the Spice Girls at him or keeping all of them to torture and kill.
-Some gal who likes to throw things-
Threw question, threw other questions, threw computer, threw coffee cup. Spent rest of day cleaning up.
I have a Spam fetish. Sometimes I just can't resist the fresh smell of salted-pseudomeat. What can I do?
-The Hamster that is Stalking you-
Probably best question ever received from small furry animal. Still rejected it because web already has too much Spam.
IS DIARY QUEEN MARRIED TO BURGER KING?
~PRINCESS MICKEY~
Avoiding questions about or from royalty at this time.
How's come after i drink a lot of alcohol my pee is clear?
-anonymous visitor-
Think pee probably just looks clear to drunks.