wwwVOice Humor Zine|
Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!
hey sparky . .. are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party?
Rejected because my Joseph McCarthy poster was on top of the question. (or was that a Charlie McCarthy poster?)
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Went away. Couldn't answer question while I was gone.
If the speed of light is the absolute speed limit of the universe, why do we try to meddle with it by posting "Speed Limit 55mph" all over the place?
Rejected only after going speed of light in Pinto, and going back in time to just moments before receiving this question.
Dear Sparky..why is it that people insist on tipping cows? I really don't understand it at all. Are they that board? Are there any other items in this vast world that people have tipped for amusement...if so, where could I find some to try it out?
-the guy who lives down the street from you-
Tipped over everything in the house. Rejected question after accidentally milking coffee table.
Can you help me??????
Sincerely wanted to help insane nut. Misplaced big "Brain Surgery For Idiots" book.
Why is it that when people don't believe something they repeat it and then add on "my butt" at the end? e.g. "Bill Gates is a nice guy, my butt!"
Thought this was a really great question, my butt!
Did you know when your vacuum cleaner is broken it really sucks? By the way, if I want my name included with the question why do I have to enter it here.
Forgot question after sucking cat up in new Hoover.
Where am I?
Did search at Alta Vista. Lost interest after running into "Betty Doppler's Boob Heaven."
If a cat had a piece of buttered bread strapped to his butt...oh, never mind.
Visitor indicated that I should forget it.
Since I've started surfing the net, I've noticed that my butt has gotten bigger. Can you recommend a good butt diet or should I just get a new chair?
Couldn't find any good Butt reducing diet books in attic, however, did have good time after relocating long lost buttshine kit.
If a donkey is an ass How aome we don't call asses donkeys?
-The person who is sick of the stalkers stalking stalkers-
Rejected, not interested in inadvertently starting "Big Ass Extravaganza."
If 7-11's are *really* open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, then why do they have locks on the doors?
Forgot question after being nearly "slapped to death" by crazed Hindu guy for fooling with his door. Enjoyed the Slurpee though.
Why is Peter B. Trimble Jr. such a God?
Lost St. Peter B. Trimble Jr. medallion in poker game.
my grandparents were recently filmed going at it on a couch for one of those millertime ads. My friends won't come near my house because they think my family is perverted, but they paid grandpa three million dollars for that ad. My question is: should I get new friends and get really expensive gifts from grandpa, or hang with the friends I have and miss out on grandpa's wealth?
Couldn't make final decision about whether to encourage weetchex to hang with drunk rich perverted old man, or friends who dislike drunk rich perverted old man.
Whats the diffrence between radio and T.V.?
Saw a radio once. Still not sure what this T.V. thing that everybody keeps talking about is.
HOW IS IT THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE BEER BELLIES AND NOT DRINK BEER?
-~*FULL OF BEER AND SKINNEY*~-
Almost always reject questions from drunk skinny really loud visitors.
Why isn't ketchup blue?
It is but once you expose it to oxygen it turns red.
If you bought San Andreas, would it be your fault?
Couldn't think of answer that was nuttier than question.
If Janet Reno was a giant penis, would she be the attorney genital?
Always reject questions pertaining to world's ugliest politician.
Why are our butt cracks vertical? Is is simply to make making pants easier? How could evolution have anticipated we'd need pants? If the crack wasn't vertical, where would you put your wallet?
Rejected, I'm swimming in butt questions.
Ok Spanky, What kind of name is Buttinsky? My dad told me people got last names from their proffesions.
Have enjoyed many fine questions from Meli on previous ooccasions. Felt whole "Butt Extravaganza" was a little too much.
Tony Orlando had a nice butt. Is he dead?
Visitor failed to mention Dawn.
how did i get here, it rulez?
Best question received all week. Rejected after losing wacky answer cliff notes.
Sparky, Do you like a Spanky on your butt? Or is the butt extravaganza over??
Yes, No. Or was that No, Yes?
Dear Spanky and Sparky, May we officially elect Ace Ventura, of talking butt fame, to be the official spokesperson for the Big Butt Extravaganza?
Good suggestion, but the "Butt Extravaganza" is now over thank god.
O.K, speaking of butts, is it just me or Bill gates is the most andsome guy in the universe?
-I need money-
Rejected. Didn't want to inadvertently insult jerk who screwed up my OS.
Before killing someone with a lithel injection why do they clean the skin and kill the bacteria on the neadle, so that the patient doesn't get an infection, if the person is going to die any ways?
Most elaborate version of "lethal injection" question to date. Didn't really make any difference as far as rejecting it went.
how did i get here?
Rejected only after five meetings with CEO of wwwVOice and pet rabbit Doodad.
If you don't know how to spell something why do people say look it up in the dictionary?
-confused and something i can't spell-
Almost used question. Rejected only after getting really dizzy from brain freeze slurpee headache.
When am I going to DIE?
-no one special-
Always reject questions from "no one special."
Saving question for big "what the heck" theme week.
I just ran out of vasoline. Can I use butter instead?
Was it rye or white bread?
Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?
Oh boy, here it is again like clockwork.
If your traveling at the speed of light do your headlights still work? If so Sparky where are they shinning from?
Felt visitor was trying too hard for "my butt" type answer.
If you were to hold up seventeen fingers, how many of them would be yours?
B) 10 yours, 5 your mothers, 2 your dogs
C) All 17
D) Fingers? What are fingers?
B. Hey, these are fun to answer!
If the question was WHAT is the answer WHY?
Enjoyed question. Just didn't understand why.