Welcome to the rejected archive. Please enjoy these questions because they suck!
Dear One Of Ya's I you push a metal pole into your ear, will it come out the other side?
-curious-
Rejected. Didn't want foreign people pushed into any orifice.
Hello Spanky! Hey, I've been wondering, how come the weathermen have all that nifty equipment to track clouds and figure out air pressure and have all this stuff going all day long, how come they can't get a single thing right on the 5:00 News????
-WoNdErInG-
Stuck head out window. Forgot about question after being struck by lightning.
Is Don Knotts really human? I find this hard to believe.
-simian-
Didn't wish to inadvertently insult lamebrained deputy.
Why did God make man strong?
A. So when he smashed his thumb it would really hurt.
B. you make it up
c. you make it up
d. you make it up
e. a is the only logical answer
-anonymous visitor-
Local church recently banned any and all questions relating to thumbs.
When was young and did something wrong and my father found out he told me the little birdie told him. What I wan't to know is who is this bird and how the hell does he know everything.
-Max-
Rejected. Felt bird question and cow tipping question on front page at same time probably cause ugly "when cows can fly" type scenario.
If I had ten dollars to spend on candy or on comix, would spending it on both violate the 'or' clause of the conditional situation of comix OR candy, or should I just say to hell with it and go hog-wild since I already have the cash?
- pulse8 :)-
Visited local convenience store. Felt ashamed after spending ten dollars on girly magazine.
If you don't tell anyone about your birthday, do you still age a year?
-anonymous visitor-
Question fell out of hat during this weeks selection process.
Why do we have solid waste AND liquid waste? Why don't we have ONE kind of waste?
-anonymous visitor-
Had to clean up big mess after liquifing garbage in blender.
Why is "but" spelled with one "t" and "butt" is spelled with two "t"'s and yet they both smell the same?
-anonymous visitor-
Felt question was probably not one of the "great" butt questions we were expecting.
How old IS Bozo the Clown, really?? I mean, he's been on the air since the begining of time!! Thank you!
-A confused sole-
Wanted to avoid dredging up old memories of show when kid missed bucket no.6 and said to Bozo; "Cram it clowny."
Have you seen my dog? I have looked all over cyberspace for it!!!
-anonymous visitor-
Have secretly kidnapped visitor's dog and am keeping it in "cyberkennel" with wacky cat that has buttered toast strapped to it's back.
Spanky or Sparky,I have a seroius problem. I'm thinking of killing many people. About 15 will fit on my hit list. My first victims will be:
1. All of the Spice Girls (5)
2. The Hansons (3 more)
3. Bob Dole (add 1 to the previous numbers)
4. Jay Lenno (and another 1)
With all of these people, there are still 5 spaces left to be filled!!! HELP!! Who should I kill!!!
-A Brutal Slayer-
NO longer encouraging "shooting spree" type questions. (that girl in the Snapple comercials please)
Being an onion, if you cut yourself while shaving do you cry or just the people around you?
-anonymous visitor-
Tried to cut myself to answer question. Had to stop after plastic knife broke.
Why the ~!@#$% would you want a replacement for Barney???!!!!! Just thank your lucky stars he dropped dead and you didn't have to kill him first!
-anonymous visitor-
Cause Barney sucks and a big burly guy with lots of guns and stuff could probably sing better.
fire is your friend.
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected. Out finding new friends as we speak.
When was tofu discovered and how?
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot question after molding tub of tofu into shape of "beaver."
So is it true that you can get Alzheimer's disease if you leave an open...can...closed can? Aluminum can in the...who are you? Why are you bothering me?
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor forgot question.
What's with the band 'No Mercy'? They write a song called 'please don't go' and then one called 'where do you go?'. Please explain why anyone would do something so stupid.
-Hates No Mercy-
Believe "angry" visitor may actually be looking for real answer.
Dearest Sparky and Spanky.... So when do we get to see the little scallions? And are your leek or leek-in-laws still alive?
-A person that is not stalking you or named Jason.-
Children were eaten last week at Senator Helms fund raising dinner.
what is gravity made of?
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected. Heard loud "Thunk" sound while reading it.
is spanky a girl? cuz i always thought both sparky and spanky were guys but in da question about a man being wrong in a forest, yer answer seemed to be like one of you was a guy the other girl! don't get me wrong there's nothing bad about girls.
-just wonderin-
Jammed bow on Spanky's head just to clear up any possible future misunderstandings.
I'm still begging you to star in my porn film....:). REALLY-not having a body makes no difference in THIS movie. Please?
-anonymous visitor-
Rejected. Still feel lack of sex organs probably big drawback.
If Jesus was resurected, how long would it take for him to be crucifed by the Right Wing fanatics?
-anonymous visitor-
See Rush question below.
sparky, Did you know that Rush Limbaugh was here last week? yes, that question: if a man speaks in the forest and no woman is around to hear would he still be wrong' is a question he freaquently asks his female listening audiance! Hey, could'ja tell 'ol Rush boy that I think he's a pompous, arrogant pain in the butt and I just have NO idea why I sometimes listen to him.
-anonymous visitor-
Hiding question just in case "Rush" comes back to submit more of his "madcap" questions.
spank/arky, thanks so much for posting (on the front page - HA HA, stalker chick! ) and answering my questions.I especially like your advise for my 4 year old and the stupid dog next door's poop! But I have another question: how-come sponges in the ocean don't float like the one I use in the bath tub? Do they have feet or something? Or little suckie things?
-stalker chick-
Had to reject question just to get even with "sneaky stalker chick."
Why is it that on the commercials a guy/woman is walking through a store casually, buying their groceries. Then they buy 'em, and realize, "Gee Jolly! I FORGOT! I have hemroids!" And then they bend over and pick up some new hemroid medicine?
-Reptile-
Forgot all about question after bad afternoon of painful itching and burning.
if you had a butt biger than your mothers and your mother is a sumo do you think there is something rong with your big fat butt or is it just when you krap it streches out the butt?????????
-anonymous visitor-
Still waiting for "Big Butt Extravaganza" to get into full swing.
I played your stupid web iq test til I got really angry
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor forgot question mark.
Hey, Sparky, do you ever get dejavu?
Hey, Sparky, do you ever get dejavu?
Hey, Sparky, do you ever get dejavu?
--O2BMe--
Knew I already rejected question once before.
What do those ppl mean when they say SuperMarioKart? do they mean it's SUPERMARIO's kart game, or just a SUPER mariokart?
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor seemed to have too much trouble spelling "supermarket."
If there's a perfectly square house with a window in the middle of each wall, all windows facing south, the what color is the bear that walks past the windows?
-anonymous visitor-
Feared "bear" might get in with all walls on same side of house. Moved to trailer home just to be safe.
If the internet is the information super-highway, then
the WWW is the:
- idiot's on-ramp
- congestion
- slick spot
-anonymous visitor-
Forgot question after seeing "vision" of Elvis with cat, string and buttered bread.
If aliens are comming, then when are they comming? I'm an X-aliien and they scare me! I need to no this!
-X-allien-
Feared "X-alien" might be from home planet and reveal secret location of "planet lettuce."
Dear Sparky, Whatever happened to that guy who played Charles on "Charles in Charge?" I heard from sources that he is involved in a Spam conspiracy and plans to steal our lovable "meat" from the small, starving children of Equador. Say it isn't so!
-concerned-
"Concerned" somehow didn't seem concerned enough. Also Sparky hates Chachi.
Did you lose your secret decoder ring?
-the weird chick that forgot to stalk you last week-
No, all the little numbers got screwed up in the wash.