wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #7 Welcome to a really old page of rejected questions. Please enjoy them, they're crappy!

If a counter only supports 999,999 hits on it, when it reaches 1 million will it reset itself, or will it tear the very fabric of space and time?!!??! AAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA AHA HA. -Burp. Live S. Idog- Burp laugh too hard at own question. iF i WaS iNSaNe, aND KNeW i WaS iNSaNe. WouLD i ReaLLY Be aLL THaT iNSaNe? --iNSaNe BuT i DoN'T KNoW iT, aND THeN i Do!- Visitor obviously insane. I see that people are now STEALING my material and using it as questions (4/14/97 rejected questions, blind man wiping). Should I be flattered or pissed? -Jadie- Webmaster Jadie painfully unaware of submitting self insulting question. Why do cars park in driveways and drive on parkways? -lost in space- Question now nearing 1000 time submission, planning big party and shooting spree at local fast food restaurant. Could I please have the girl who is stalking you's number? She sounds kinda cute... -The guy who is now stalking you- "Girl who is stalking me" has become rather lax in her duties. Hope "guy" fares better. 1.)Do u have an opinion on when Jesus will come back? 2.)Hell, idaho r udaho?? Whoah-Those questions r sorta contra?dic?tiory,huh? -anonymous visitor- Too many question marks. Also feared "Whoah" might actually be visitors name. why dont they give the psychos the lethal injection in the butt?? cause it would hurt?? -Darq- Darq accidently included not so funny answer, that's Sparky's job. Kaibigang Sparky, marunong ka bang magsalita ng tagalog? Kung marunong ka nga, ito ang aking katanungan. Paano ko makakamit ang ganap na kasiyahan? - = ) - Visitor inadvertently misspelled 3 words in tradition Hawaiian barmitzvah passage. Also not sure about name, could be visitor formerly known as Prince. If the moon smiled, who would she resemble? -anonymous visitor- Liked question, saw horrible vision of Ethel Mertz. What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? -anonymous visitor- Rejected due to question being funnier than stock joke book answer. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations? -Jill- Thought hard, hurt head, took nap, rejected question. Is it possible to be totally partial? -anonymous visitor- See above question. Which country makes Panama hats? -anonymous visitor- Wacky "Bora Bora" answer probably not that wacky. I would like to make the Bible into a web page. What should I make "God" a link to? -blasphemy@hell.com- Avoiding religious questions due to "Big Voice" saying "Build boat" on Saturday. SPaNkY- Howe doooooo you spank monnnkeys naned Peeps Poops???!?? -Cooky- Cooky included too many obscene words, Pee@s and Poo#@s recently cited in communications decency act as banned potty words. Hey Sparky where's the rest of your body? -Meli- Apparent that Meli is big pervert. Why is it that when you are fast-forwarding a video that you recorded last night on tv and you hit play it is always slap bang in the middle of a set of ads? -Regards jamjars- Related to question, however also have large personal collection of "zany infomercials." Mostly featuring Morgan Fairchild. What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy hunters and a girl's track team? -The Reverend Jough Approximately http://www.geocities.com/Paris/LeftBank/4202/- Question seemed to require actual punchline. why do all fictional phone numbers on TV shows start with 555 (for example: 555-1234)?? Please no smart alecky answer, ok? -Mike TeeVee- Did deep soul searching about just how fake TV shows have become since "Chips" was canceled. Is it Saturday night or is the world getting smallet these days? -anonymous visitor- Not sure what "smallet" means. Bought new thesaurus. Why is the wwwVOice Humor Site Questions URL spelt "queston" -anonymous visitor- Anonymous visitor bring painful typo into limelight. Considered suicide, ate twinkie instead. do you have any grey poupon? -anonymous visitor- Saw vision. Man in Bently, kid in sportscar, jar of mustard, see above question for snack choice. I have been using Lever 2000 for some time now, but I am wondering what might happen if I miss some of those 2000 parts that it is supposed to be best for. Is there I checklist that I can use while I am in the shower? -Wanting to be clean all over- Anal retentive visitor need get grip. What nut created this? -anonymous visitor- Complimentary tone too " slobbery." What relation does Sparky hold to Spanky? Are they brother, or cousins or just good friends? -Spoogy- Felt question too personal for front page. Spanky Sparky's wife. Why isn't phonics spelled like it sounds? -anonymous visitor- Already had "zingy" telephone question. What exactly is Grimus? A. Barney's distant cousin. B. Jerry Sienfeld's view of George after a good night of partying. C. Some Kind of "I don't know what." -anonymous visitor- "Big Purple Dinosaur" questions too sophisticated for normal wwwVOice crowd. let's say someone, on a whim, had the entire history of western civilization tattooed on their arm and then, years later, found out they had to take a test on western civilization. would that be cheating? -confused and bewildered, boo boba fett radley- Question nearly made front page, rejected only after 3 hour "Risk" marathon. I just noticed that you told us that you "..will post the best questions about once a month. "If that is true, why do you post the best questions every Monday?? -The gal that has been too busy to stalk you last week- Foolishly thought "gal who is stalking you" had stopped stalking me. If this real IQ test says that I have a score of 149 and that this means I am a genius, why am I still writing this? Should I get a life? does this question contain exactly 32 letters? -AguythattriedthisIQtestandisprofoundlyconfused- Question rejected, believe it may actually contain 33 letters. I am refusing to set my clock forward! Wanted to know what will happen and can they arrest me for this? -"Not giving up MY hour"- Avoiding getting involved in any illegal time manipulation. Seen "Back to the Future" 4 times. pleasehelpmesparkymyspacebarisbrokenhowdoifixit? /// //// -ronaldmcdonald@archdeluxe.com- Panicky visitor probably dead already anyway. What is the difference between an Ardvark and an Ant Eater? I really need to know! -anonymous visitor- Didn't know either. Taking ant farm to zoo Wednesday. What's red, white, & blue all over? -anonymous visitor- Only had nun in an elevator with a spear through her answer prepared. Need different colors. If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day in a half, how long does it take a monkey to spit the seeds out of a dill-pickel? -anonymous visitor- Already had zany "monkey" question. Saw ugly vision of Monkey/Pickle/Chicken casserole. I just love that "Schoolhouse Rock" about how a bill becomes a law. Is there any truth to the rumor that they're making one about how snot becomes a booger? -Jadie- Saw "The Thing" Friday, no booger questions. Weren't you once cast as an extra in one of those Mentos commercials? -Jadie- Bizarre "minty candy past" best forgotten. If you took a piece of toast from the movie Uncle Buck ("You should see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door"), slathered it with a tub of I Can Beleeve Ees Naut Botter, strapped it to the back of an albino bengal tiger and pushed said tiger off your counter, shouldn't you expect a call from your local ASPCA? -anonymous visitor- Toast themed website sceduled for big August release. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -anonymous visitor- Woodland friends now avoiding website due to constant ribbing. How do blind people know when they are done wiping their butts? -anonymous visitor- Once again, saving butt related questions for big extravaganza in June.

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