wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing
The Rejected Question Archive : #6
Welcome to a really old page of rejected questions.
Please enjoy them, they're crappy!




R E J E C T
A)why do they steralise the needle used for lethal injections?
b)What was the best thing before sliced bread
-anonymous visitor-
Sliced bread/Capitol punishment question seemed somewhat unrelated.


R E J E C T
I came, I pondered, I saw, I pondered, I read, I pondered, I laughed, I pondered, I bookmarked, I left. I'll be back!!
-morrism@netins.net-
Not a question, but thanks for the warning.


R E J E C T
Well, I was watching this medical program. It was about brains, they said a brain consists of two halves. Does this mean I've got 2 braincells in stead of one ? This would be big news, I mean REALY BIG NEWS !
-Bas-
Saw same show, drew different conclusion. Something about "They were four men, living all together, but they were all alone."


R E J E C T
How high is a duck?
-Todd Terres Camarillo, CA-
California people, strange crowd indeed.


R E J E C T
Abort, Retry, or Cancel?
-anonymous visitor-
Current drive is no longer valid> (wacky DOS joke)


R E J E C T
do you know why Marylyn Monroe was buried next to Donna Reed? because she was DEAD!
-anonymous visitor-
Too stupid.


R E J E C T
Going along with the whole PRO/CON thing. What is the oposite of CONstitution?
-SLY-
PROphylactic?


R E J E C T
Why dont Crows ever get hit by cars??? Can god create a boulder so big he can't lift it? When does two plus two = three? What are tonights winning lottery #s?
-jeffwilliams-
Didn't wish to accidentally give away winning numbers. Want "Sack-O-Cash" all to myself.


R E J E C T
Hallo there I would like to ask why did they name u Sparky do u really spark????? =)
-CLASSIFIED NAME-
Seemed as though "Classified Name" was probably fugitive from "Chat Police."


R E J E C T
Sparky, Do you wear pants while your work on these questions,or are you naked??
-anonymous visitor-
Yo man, I'm just a floating head.


R E J E C T
If the devil walked among us, who would it most likly be?
A. Bill Clinton
B. Ronold McDonnald
C. Bill Gates
D. Rush Limbach
E. Pamala Anderson
-Eric Flanders-
Saddened by inclusion of Ronald McDonald.


R E J E C T
Is it true that Robin Hood robbed the rich because the poor didn't have any money?
-Carlton Sheets-
Still searching through vast "Errol Flynn" video collection.


R E J E C T
Why do flowers and bicycles both have pedals?
-Love ME-
Was going to use question, got distracted sniffing various bicycle parts.


R E J E C T
What's the difference between a geek & a nerd?
-Has to know, can't sleep till I do!-
Question too complicated to answer without many comparison charts, overhead slides, and one of those fancy laser pointer things.


R E J E C T
If you are really sparky: 1. Do you feel at ease in a flammable area? 2. Would you ignite a gas burner?
-anonymous visitor-
No zingy answer for silly "pyro" visitor question.


R E J E C T
Could it be that Memorex is really a mime band and those tapes aren't really blank?
-boo boba fett radley-
Have band's entire collection, found question most unnerving.


R E J E C T
So...do ya? Huh? Do ya? You know what I mean. Right?
-anonymous visitor-
Question too "Spazy."


R E J E C T
Is it Monday yet?
-wwwvoice addict-
Flattering question "spook" poor webmaster.


R E J E C T
Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?
-anonymous visitor-
See answer below.


R E J E C T
Why is a driveway called a "drive"way and a parkway called a "park"way???
-anonymous visitor-
Had strange deja vu experience.


R E J E C T
Why is a driveway called a "drive"way and a parkway called a "park"way???
-anonymous visitor-
Had strange deja vu experience. (too many French references this week)


R E J E C T
I don't know how to stop vampires. Could you explain the biological complications of cloning me? I know those statements don't make much sense, but fight enough vampires and it matters!
-anonymous visitor-
Sparky fired clone. Couldn't stand the guy.


R E J E C T
What happens when you rip off those little tags on your mattress or pillow that threaten you with legal retrbution if you do it?
-anonymous visitor-
Had too many tag ripping/meaning of life questions. Still looking for answer at "Big Bang" website.


R E J E C T
If a multiple-personality person threatened to commit suicide, would it be considered a hostage situation?
-anonymous visitor-
Did question in December, "friend" Dr. Kevorkian still not talking to me.


R E J E C T
If a man says, "I lie," is he lying or telling the truth?
-anonymous visitor-
Wife, Morgan Fairchild liked question. Brother, Johnny Depp liked question too. Dad, Sean Connery nixed whole thing.


R E J E C T
OK - here is my BIG question.........What am I to do with the dreams/nightmares I have about this site?!
-Fiveo-
Drink more Jolt.


R E J E C T
Why are there braille messages on drive-up ATM machines?
-anonymous visitor-
Tried driving with blindfold, smashed up Pinto.


R E J E C T
What is the speed of dark?
-anonymous visitor-
See above question.


R E J E C T
What is it like being married to a psychology major? Do you ever get paranoid?
-anonymous visitor-
Thought visitor maybe not anonymous. Buying darker curtains


R E J E C T
if i went to the end of the earth to get to the other side would you fall from grace howv sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me i once twice three times a lady
-anonymous visitor-
Felt visitor might have lost train of thought. Forgot question mark.


R E J E C T
If a fish net is used to catch fish and a butterfly net is used to catch butterflies, then what is an inter net used to catch? Hint: A mirror may assist this techna-life-meaning question......holographically speaking of course.
-anonymous visitor-
Great question."Hint" caused many lonely hours in washroom.


R E J E C T
Why do gay bars have two bathrooms?
-anonymous visitor-
Didn't wish to upset gay coalition camped out in front yard.


R E J E C T
Last week, a commercial said "Don't you know ExtraNet ? it's an external intranet" ; then he disapeared, but i'm still thinking about the thing ... Someone could explain me ?
-sucker@Journalists.are.really.good.com-
Visitor name might not be actual e-mail address.


R E J E C T
WHERE DOES THE WHITE GO WHEN THE SNOW MELTS?
-anonymous visitor-
No good answer for "loud" visitor.


R E J E C T
Dear Sparky, What do you think the meaning of life is?
-anonymous visitor-
Already had "Zany" universe/meaning of life question this week, canceling subscription to Omni.


R E J E C T
Once again, you've left off the most obvious option: Ren and Stimpy explained this in great detail, but I guess SOMEONE just wasn't paying attention. Socks go to an alternate universe that is only accessible to humans via a black hole.
-Jason-
Stiff Ren and Stimpy copyright rules forbade using. Not actually question anyway.


R E J E C T
What happened to Preparations A thru G?
-larryhaha-
Saving butt related questions for big extravaganza in June.


R E J E C T
wouldnt a better word for hemorrhoid be,asteroid?
-ed-
See above question.


R E J E C T
If a person was to 'fart' and 'belch' at the exact same time would their stomach collapse?
-ALF141@aol.com-
Had wild egg, cola, and bean party Saturday at local college. Even "Pros" unable too do both at once.


R E J E C T
My thumb hurts, and it smells funny, what should I do?
-Spanky, The Wondermut-
Found hidden meaning in question to be sexually bizarre.


R E J E C T
Why are all my house plants dieing since I started visiting your site?
-Just Wondering-
Damn, apparently big foliage world domination computer virus plan foiled by frequent visitor.


R E J E C T
Did the Carmex lip protectant really used to be made from whale sperm?
-anonymous visitor-
Sexually bizarre marine life questions no longer being accepted.


R E J E C T
What does supercalifagilisticexpyalidotious really mean?? Why did they make it so big?
-Hobie-
Big word broke spell-checker, slapping Hobie with massive lawsuit Thursday.


R E J E C T
If your fathers name was Ferdinan and your mother was Elyza. What would be a good name for you... Answer- "Ferdilyza"
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor inadvertently included snappy answer.


R E J E C T
Who is Image and why is she Streaming?
-anonymous visitor-
Installed PhotoShop 4.0 forgot question while "fiddling" with new features.


R E J E C T
If pro is the opposit of thean congrass is the opposit of progress!
-anonymous visitor-
Believe visitor may have accidentally excluded some "key" words and letters. See question below.


R E J E C T
Dear Sirs (or sir's and ma'am's) If you recieve a question with typo's, do you fix those for the person that sent it in, or do you just trash it, OR do you point it out what a moron the person is for sending in a question with tyop[s?
-That woman who is still stalking you-
Felt inclusion of single typo to be too manipulative. Also fear "Stalking Woman" may be relative of Emo Phillips. Yes to all three depending on mood.


R E J E C T
How many suicidal cult members does it take to make a web page?
-anonymous visitor-
Couldn't locate any living members for zany interview.


R E J E C T
what?
-anonymous visitor-
Question too short.


R E J E C T
When is a paranoiac not a paranoiac? I'd don't dare answer? do I Hon? Hon?
-arggh!-
Wasn't sure if "arggh!" was persons name, part of question, or question's answer.


R E J E C T
My goal in life (for the past 2 weeks anyway) was to be bestowed the honor of having one of my questions reach the number one spot on your web page some week. Guess what, I just found it there. Can you help me set a new goal?
-Love, that weird chick that is still stalking you-
Felt setting goals for stalkers might be bad direction for website to pursue.


R E J E C T
How many roads is a man really supposed to walk down? And what if I lost count about three years ago? Oh dear, is that two questions?
-anonymous visitor-
Actually, it's three questions.


R E J E C T
Why can't a sentence be a question without a question mark at the end.
-anonymous visitor-
Visitor forgot question mark.


R E J E C T
If you made a cow laugh real hard, would milk come out it's nose? and don't ask me to tickle a cow!!
-anonymous visitor-
Spent Friday night tipping cows, felt I'd had just about enough "cow zaniness" for week.


R E J E C T
Why when you cut onions do you cry? Is this like a remorse thing for sparky and spanky? or is it something that has been brainwashed into us by the government?
-anonymous visitor-
Believe many CIA agents sneaking around website. Avoiding any vegetable questions just to be safe.


R E J E C T
If making web pages is so darned hard, why are there so many people doing it?
-MyBrotherInLawKnowsHTML@ThinksItImpressesPeople.com-
Thought I was the only one, rethinking spare time distribution


R E J E C T
Who would you be more likely to trust in a mid-mall hostage experience (if you had to pick)?
The Easter Bunny
Santa Claus
The Leprechaun
The Christmas Moose (a novelty in Maryland)
A Janitor
-anonymous visitor-
Smoked entire pack of Pall-Malls, torn between Santa and Bunny.


R E J E C T
If we all different, does this mean we are really all the same?
-anonymous visitor-
Saw vision of Elvis while reading question, ate twinkies.


R E J E C T
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
-the shade-
Suddenly realization that I might be too happy caused countless trips to local Borders bookstore.


R E J E C T
What do out laws call their inlaws?
-Buck-
Buck too common a name for outlaw.


R E J E C T
Who put the bomp in the bomp-sho-bomp-sho-bomp?
-Yoda-
Believe visitor may not be same lovable Yoda from popular Sci-Fi movie.


R E J E C T
Hi, I'm Bill Gates. I was just dropping by at some random sites and ended up here. I would just like to say that you have a mighty fine and humerous site here. I give it two thum--WHAT THE HELL! WHAT KIND OF PAGE IS THIS YOU SON OF A BI%@H SPARKY!! TRYING TO INSULT ME I SEE! WELL I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, YOU A&%WIPE! KISS MY A@& YOU MO$!ERFU@%ER!
-A PISSED OFF Bill Gates-
Thought visitor was maybe not the real "Bill Gates" owing to the fact that Bill is currently enjoying an extended, and much deserved vacation at scenic Wisconsin Dells






The Used Humor Archive!