wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing|
Welcome to the LAST page of the rejected archive.
Please enjoy these inferior questions!
MY FOOT HURTS! HEY SPARKY, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? DOES ANYONE ELSE SMELL THAT? SPARKY, YOU KNOW IF YOU BLOW YOUR NOSE REALLY HARD, YOUR EARS WILL POP? MY BUTT'S NUMB FROM SITTIN AT THIS DAMN COMPUTER FOR THE LAST THREE DAYS. OH WELL. BY THE WAY, DOES ANYONE ELSES PARENTS TAKE BATHS WITH THEM? JUST WONDERING
Question referred to me by name twice, buying new locks tomorrow. Question also includes words: Blow, Hard, Butt, Baths and pop.
Why do people say "take a pis", when actually they are giving one to the pot. I don't understand.
Felt "pee-pee" question might hurt NASDAQ rating.
How come you never see those machines that stamped your name on a strip of aluminium any more? What technology replaced them?
-David Blakey, Auckland, New Zealand-
Think loony stamp machines may be exclusive to Australian area.
How many box tops do I have to send in to get one of them Bud Ugly t-shitrs?
Still working kinks out of t-shirt deal with General Mills.
If a tree falls in the forest...should anybody care? I mean...it's in the forest, right? And we're...well...not in the forest. At least not most of us. No...NOT those of us on the net. Becuase...well...it's the forest..I mean, if you're in the forest. And what do you plug you're laptop into? Oh, I got it! You use Potato Clock technology, sticking one prong of the plug in B-E-L-O-W your tongue...one above, then eat a citris fruit...preferably and orange, because oranges are sweeter than lemons...then...BWAH-HA-HA! The power of electricty right at the tip of your tongue! SO THERE! So you could be anywhere...even in a forest! So...I guess we should care if a tree falls. It might fall on us...or something. Hmmm...oops! Answered my own question. Thanks anyways.
-Oh yeah...my name is Clay. PLEASE PUT MY NAME!....please?-
Clay answered own question.
If fire fighters fight fires, crime fighters fight crime , then what do freedom fighters fight?
Didn't want to hurt meli's fragile ego with sarcastic "duh" type answer.
Why can't you divide by zero? Isn't it a free country?
Felt answer might turn into some sort of mathematical nightmare.
ummmm how do i get, the monkey from my pants.
Do you think my girlfriend is a retard?
Fear massive lawsuit from powerful "Retard Coalition"
If a deaf child swears does his mother wash his hands out with soap?
Staying away from any question that might be regarded as "Cripple Ribbing" at this time.
Why Doesn't Al Gore Dance? Because we'd all laugh at the Al Gore Rhythm.
Avoiding ugly confrontation with Washington heavyweight.
Where does thunder come from, and why does it smell so bad?
Fear person may be referring to some other smelly noise maker.
Sparky?!?! Is that you, Sparky?!?! I'm your long lost mom...its so good to SEE you again! *huggles*
-Spooky the Typing Grapefruit-
Avoiding tearful reunion with any fruit-like relatives.
Hey, for the question "Which corporate web site sucks the most?" How do I select all of the above?
Wanted to add "All of the above" button. Lost new HTML book.
This site rules. But who has the time nowadays to make something like this without a profit incentive??!
Couldn't use question, just sold site to Sun for a billion dollars.
why do clocks run clockwise and when do fish sleep.
Couldn't meld fish and clocks into single snazzy answer.
I have this really important question I need to ask someone...do you have any idea who I can ask it to?
Zsa Zsa Gabor kept coming to mind.
How many little scallions do have running around the house? If you cut yourself, does everyone around you start to cry? Just curious. I've never met an onion guy before.
Feared crazed cyberperson having too much personal info.
What kind of warped minds come up with this stuff?
Spent all day Sunday unbending head.
Why haven't I ever encountered hitchhikers on the information superhighway?
Couldn't find snappy answer in joke book.
If the unemployment level is so low in the United states, how come we have so many people on welfare?
Watched CNN all day, still didn't understand.
I have reason to believe that you owe me $100. I take all major credit cards, or you can just call 1-900-123-4567 and not do anything for about 7 and a half minutes.
Called number, felt gypped.
Just loaded new computer, don't know anything.
A Treatise on Water: How can water be fresh? Was it just made? Just how old is it anyway?
Toilet backed up Tuesday, avoiding water questions at this time.
Have you ever wished for a dime every time you heard a stupid question like "why is it always in the last place I look?" that way you could afford the lawyer to get you off the assault charges.
Found question so confusing and unnerving, hid piggy bank.
When i click "here you go sparky", does it mean that Sparky will actually go here? And where is "here" anyway, i thought this was the Internet?
Person obviously believes Cyberspace not real.
If I sneeze hard enough, can my eyes pop out? And if they ever do pop out, what should I do?
Envisioned entire scenario, threw up.
Why do ugly colors have pretty names, like peridot and chartreuse?
Failed to mention "Red"