wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #3 Welcome to the LAST page of the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!

In relation to the cats and buttered toast question, what if you buttered both sides of the toast and got a cat with no limbs? where would they land? or would this cause an imbalance destroying the very fabric of space and time? -Jeff- Couldn't find cat to participate in first nutty experiment. Felt Jeff might be taking this whole cat/toast thing a little to seriously anyway. If my aunt had testicles, would she be my uncle? -The Spaz- Already had testicle question. Why is it impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. -anonymous visitor- Tried hard to sneeze with eyes open, blew ears off. I know this is a week early but, I may be dead by next week. Each St. Patrick's Day, I drink green beer and consequently, my poop is green. What I don't understand is, on days when I drink only water, why isn't my poop transparent? -Jadie (of course)- Know webmaster Jadie personally, think he may be cracking under immense pressure of running popular website. What's another word for thesaurus? -anonymous visitor- Please, no more dinosaur questions. Can a flat chested woman go topless and not get arrested for indecent exposure? -Anonymous Trepasser- Only like "Big Boob" questions. what's Alanis Morissette doing with her hand in her pocket??? -anonymous visitor- Bought CD, played it backwards, still in the dark. How much wood could a woodchuck upchuck if a woodchuck upchucked wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, no reason why he should then wood he? -anonymous visitor- Didn't wish to poke fun at any small woodland friends. Just how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? A.)409 lbs. B.) Enough C.)Who cares? -anonymous visitor- Please see above question. What is the meaning of ignorant? -anonymous visitor- Question seemed too self defining. Why do you have a lightbulb in your butt? -anonymous visitor- Felt question was too personal. If the 7-11 is opened 24 hours a day 365 days a year why do they have locks on the doors? What would the world be like if there were no hypothetical questions? Why is it that when you are looking for a street address on the houses you are driving by you turn down the radio? Why are there braile keys on the keypad to the drive up ATM? If you tape a peice of buttered bread to a cat what happens when you turn on the headlights? -anonymous visitor- Liked question, thought it might contain secret satanic message though. Where do they put the moguls on a ski mountain in the summer? -anonymous visitor- Brought back bad broken leg/lost girlfriend/mean dog holiday memory. Did Trident think that no one would notice that "Chew on this!" is a moderately suggestive question? What *were* they thinking? -The Reverend Jough Approximately- Have "mucho" money invested in new gum factory. Okay Spooky..er spanky..or whater your names is. My full name is Damien "marinerd.simplenet.com" Lynch! No, it is not free advertising. It is my name. -Damien- Visitor forgot to include question. Sparky...wasn't he the radio guy from M*A*S*H*? -Name withheld by request- Being extra cautious with mystery visitors. Why does cold water taste better than warm water? -Adam- Bloated body up Saturday checking, still not sure, found warm water tasty. If you can be held "partially responsible" for something, then why can't you be "partially pregnant"? -anonymous visitor- Thought question only "partially" good. Is ever eating at a restaurant located next to a pound a plus? -anonymous visitor- Pound of what? how come you never answer my questions? -Signed, rejected and dejected- Trying hard not to break current streak. What do most people eat on Sundays at 3:00?] chips -chips?- Not sure if "chips" is visitors name or if it's the answer. I usually have snails. WHY DID HELEN KELLERS DOG JUMP OFF THE CLIFF? I WOULD TO IF MY NAME WAS DERDAH A GAGHFHLFH -anonymous visitor- Thought question might break spell checker. Also still avoiding any type of "Cripple Ribbing" irregardless of whether "Cripple " is dead or alive. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME? -anonymous visitor- Felt person probably just had a bad day at the office. My mom says I'm part native american. I would like to know which part it is. -anonymous visitor- Visitor forgot to include zany Indian name. It's 5:22. Do you know what you're wearing? -anonymous visitor- Received question at 5:47 When my boss leaves me a note that says "Put on Calendar to see me", is this harassment? -anonymous visitor- Feared boss might retaliate with big firing spree. If all men are created equal, why isn't life fair? -anonymous visitor- Broke pencil in sharpener while reading question. Felt bad omen shouldn't be ignored. Is this really optional? What will happen if I don't fill in anything here? -anonymous visitor- Thought visitor making fun of "text box" inappropriate in light of holiday Monday. where next to link video xxx -anonymous visitor- Being paid big bucks to trap perverts, besides voter forgot question mark. What happens to programmers when they die ? They get deallocated ? Their values become undefined ? The get re-intialized ? Their structues break down ? They become WORM food ? They start dropping bits ? They branch to a new address ? Their social system resources are released ? They dump core ? [a coredump is the result of an abort()ion] -bas@earthling.net http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Marina/8567/- Plethora of "in-joke" answers confuse poor webmaster. Liked worm food answer though. I'M BORED. AND I'M ONLY 14, AND I LIVE IN ALASKA, SO THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO WON'T LET ME DO ANYTHING.I NEED SOMETHING TO DO. ANY SUGGESTIONS???? -BORED STUPID IN ALASKA- Totally ignorant of location of any youth hotspots in far north.

The Used Humor Archive!