wwwVOice Humor Zine Thing The Rejected Question Archive : #1 Welcome to the LAST page of the rejected archive. Please enjoy these inferior questions!

If a tree falls on a chicken crossing the road while wondering "what came first, me or my shell" and singing the kid song "The Song That Never Ends" from Lambchop's play along, does anyone give a rusty rats !^%? -anonymous visitor- No explanation necessary. If there are 16 doughnuts per 3 nanoseconds, how many clocks does it take to make 2 = a empty bottle of mayonaise? -anonymous visitor- See above answer. Why is it that when you have too much work to do that you complain that there is too much work to do? But when you have nothing to do you complain that there isn't anything to do? -anonymous visitor- Too much work figuring out an answer. Why did dogs lift their legs to pee? -anonymous visitor- Didn't include their name. Why do a lot of people answer the telephone with their 'phone number ??? I know their number, I just dialled it !!! Have you noticed that it's these same people that refuse to leave messages on my answering machine ? -Tim.C- Included their name. Can someone make cheese with pomagranites? -Tacoman- Included their name, and it's stupid. What is the velocity of an African sparrow carrying a coconut? -anonymous visitor- Didn't include their name, it's stupid, and they stole it from MPatHG. Hey Sparky...I think about you when I touch myself. -anonymous visitor- Sexually bizarre. If Minnie is to Mickey Mouse as Daisy is to Donald Duck, then who in the heck is with goofy? And how did he have a son that looks like him? -anonymous visitor- Might get sued by Disney. Hey Sparky, can you come to dinner? We're having burgers and we are low on onio---er...just come over. -anonymous visitor- Reminds me too much of a bad childhood memory concerning my aunt Flora. Paper won't hold its shape under pressure, won't form the shape of a "cup" if placed in one, nor does it float....what the heck is it anyway? -anonymous visitor- Would like to answer it, just don't know what the hell the question is. Does Bill Gates have his own private prostitute? -anonymous visitor- Gave Microsoft a break that week. If Bill Gates was never born, who would take his place: Pee-Wee Herman, Kato (OJ's Buddy), Sparky's long lost evil twin, or God. -anonymous visitor- Steven Seagal wasn't one of the choices. Besides, they forgot the question mark. I thought I saw Bill Gates get a motel room with Michael Jackson...is that plausable? -anonymous visitor- Sexually bizarre again. Why is Sparky always smiling...does he know something we don't? -anonymous visitor- I know notink. Is Sparky really an onion...or a mutated medicine ball on steroids? -anonymous visitor- There is no zingy answer to this. why do i have such a hard time finding porn on this Veez -anonymous visitor- Not sure if Veez is his name or if Veez is where he's looking for porn. Hi Im Jaymes. My question: Is it politically incorrect to ask that one hand clapping question if there's a handicapped person in the room with only one hand? (I mean, Im not saying it would offend him, just wouldn't it be unfair to all the other people who dont have an outlet to provide the answer?) -anonymous visitor- Don't know hand clapping question he's referring to. Would the yellow centre line on paved highways not have to be repainted as often if the Dept. of Highways took up the yellow line each Fall, had it laundered and then laid the line back in place the following Spring? -anonymous visitor- They do this already. What is the meaning of life? -bored with nothing else to do- Did this five months ago what do you do one the internet -anonymous visitor- Forgot to cap "what" forgot to cap "Internet" forgot question mark, spelled on wrong. Was torn on whether or not to use it anyway. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts. -Juj Marie- Just plain disgusting. how come people still buy cows if free milk is so easy to get? -Juj Marie- Does this one really need an explanation. If you eat a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto do they cancel each other out? If so, is it because it's impossible to eat two pounds of food and it cancels out just because you puke? -Juj Marie- Had Italian food just last night. I've heard that opinions are like assholes. Is this true. Here's a good answer if you want it. If so, it'll be our little secret. If not...don't look. Yes, they both have eight letters. -Jadie- Personally insulted, got over it after big meal (see answer above) If I forget the whole thing will that mean I won't remember where I've been or where I live? -Juj Marie- Forgot where I put this question. What is the state with all the potatoes?? A: Idaho R: Yeah, and I da pimp! -anonymous visitor- I don't get it. Theory: Are Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond the same person? -anonymous visitor- Nobody cares. Who the hell are you? -anonymous visitor- See answer above. Pizza Hut, may I take your order? -anonymous visitor- Feared late night pizza delivery from psycho cyberperson. I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. -anonymous visitor- I'm not sure what you mean.

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