Visitor Question Of The Week Archive:
#45 Welcome to wwwVOice's rather disturbing archive.... Enjoy!



See why we have a new name this week.


Hey! my face. If TVs have dinners what do other appliances eat?
-anonymous-
Well the washer eats my socks, the printer eats all my paper, the cordless screwdriver eats all the heads of the screws and I'm pretty sure that the blow dryer is eating all my hair.
-Sparky-

Hey! my face. HELP! My invisible friend ran away from home! where can I find her??!!
-been_searching_so_long_my_eyes_are_glazed-
I recommend you get a big bag of flour and start whipping it around the house until she shows up.
-Spanky-

Why is it that onions such as yourselves cannot live in peace? Spanky, why do you let your soul be tortured be that sexist pig Sparky? By the way, are you two a married couple or like brother and sister?
-Ms. Potato Head, feminist for all veggies-
Dear *Ms* Potato Head, Who are you to talk? At least I don't let everybody and his brother go jabbing things into my face. (whoo, the nose looks good over here!)
-Spanky-

I've been researching the Genealogy of the Ti-d-bowl family and may have found a relation between Spanky and Eugene Francis Ti-d-bowl (a.k.a. the Ti-d-bowl man) who has amassed a small fortune from cleaning toilets. Was Spanky's mother related to a Bubba-john Ti-d-bowl?
-Jason-
Yes, my mother did once have a wild fling (it was very sanitary I might add) with Eugene Francis, a.k.a the fabulous floating Ti-D Bowl© man. I was however not the offspring of this sordid affair, it was my 1/2 brother Yanky. Who incidentally spends every waking hour in the bathroom. In other words, her hanky-panky did not make Spanky.
-Spanky-

Sparky, Are you going to keep the website address the same or are you going to change it to wwwSp@ckle.com???
-long time followers OutKast and Phat@$$-
Actually the whole Sp@ckle thing is sort of a joke. You may want to check out our screwy explanation for the full story. Hey, if we do decide to move, can we count on you? That baby grand weighs a ton.
-Sparky-

Why do you reject my questions if I sign it, but if I go anonymous it makes front page headlines?
-anonymous-
Actually most visitors aren't aware of it but, it's much more difficult to get on the rejected page. Honest.
-Sparky-

Why, O Why, are the things on the ends of my shoelaces called what they are?
-anonymous-
So it's easy to remember.
-Sparky-

Spanky/Sparky, Are you guys Ken and Barbie in disguise?
-Matt Tell-
Thanks a lot, you just blew our witness protection program cover.
-Spanky-



Have either of you or anyone you know ever admitted to loosing a shoe out the window while driving? While driving throughout the lovely northern suburbs of Chicago during my summer job I have noticed that about once a day /or five times a week/ I'll see one lone shoe laying carelessly on the side of the road. Where do these shoes come from? I have never known anyone admit to loosing a shoe while in a moving automobile but then again who would admit to something that weird? I, myself would be embarrassed to admit such a foolish thing? Where do these shoes come from?
- just wondering, SLY-
You're right Bob, it's very weird. By the way, have you seen any brown ones, about size ten?
-Sparky-

I am flying to Houston this weekend. Can you give me some good hints on what restaurants are good there? Thanks!
-Ima Goober-
Dear Ima Goober, Actually I've never been to Houston, but I think either the McDonalds or the Burger King would be haute cuisine as always. Bon Appetite... Pardner.
-Sparky-

What's your favorite position?
-J.B.-
Under the sofa, feet up on the lamp, handcuffed to the coffee table and a live raccoon on my head. You?
-Sparky-

Yo, Yo, Yo, onion heads! What up, homies? Well, My queston has to do with a rather popular rapper. Puff Daddy is in many many music videos, yet they are mostly all rap videos! Whats up with that? I want to see my man, Puffy, in a Marilyn Manson video. Don't you think that would be SLAMMIN'?!?!?!
-PUFF-
Yeah, slamming. That's what it would be, slamming. Like slamming Mr. Winky in the shower door.
-Sparky-

When hiring hookers, is it better to call an escort service, or just "shop around" on the street corners?
- The Reverend Jough Approximately -
Dear Reverend. Rather than hiring streetwalkers you may want to consider hitting up on a few of those nuns first. If that doesn't work, I recommend driving up and down the street honking your horn and yelling something like "Hey baby, check out my wheels!" It get's 'em every time.
-Sparky-





The Used Humor Archive!
next page