Visitor Question Of The Week Archive:
#44 Welcome to wwwVOice's rather disturbing archive.... Enjoy!

Hey! my face. Is it true that the Globe is now offering billions of dollars to anyone on a motorcycle, who can get a really good picture of O.J. Simpson? Well, that's what I heard! and I heard they pay double if he's intoxicated, and speeding too!
Dear, what kind of a stupid name is that, as I understand it, it's not the Globe that's making the offer, it's some guy named Fred. I hear it's up to ten mil for a good shot of the Spice Girls too. Here's a few other offers that are currently going around:
Mac World, 5 mil for Bill Gates.
PC World, 5.1 mil for Bill Gates.
Time, 1 mil for Bob Dole.
Good Housekeeping, a half million for Roseanne Barr.
Sports Illustrated, 2.3 mil for Steve Urkel
Cosmopolitan, 3 mil for Tammy Faye Baker.
TV Guide, 1.3 mil for Ricki Lake.

Hey! my face. If you're calling in a ransom, is it better to get one of those little voice disguiser things or to just put a sock over the mouthpiece like they do in the movies?
-The Reverend Jough Approximately-
First choice... helium balloon. Second choice... swift kick to the groin from your accomplice.

Do you have a hubcap for a 72 Datsun 240Z? Thank you for your time.
Yeah, but you'll have to dig us up an ashtray to replace it?

Why does the button below the "send us a question" section say "Ok here you go sparky" when it's spanky's picture next to the logo?
Because I like to push his buttons from time to time.

What do you call a man with an IQ of 5?

Who wins: Godzilla with his thermo-nuclear breath, or Barney, who as we all know is made of heat resistant rubber?
Godzilla. Barney is doomed because Tina is actually a spy.

Hey! my face. Dear Spanky Don't you think that Sparky should go on a diet?
Yes I do, it seems like he's been bloating up ever since we moved the water cooler next to his desk.

I don't have a question, but could you give a snappy answer anyway?
-Thanx, Raven-

Hey Sparkey, why did you change my name to "MoleStank" when I asked you about the Chutes and Ladders question? My name is Reptar! Halt! I am Reptar! Thanks alot Sparkey.....see how you are. I DON'T appreciate it! MoleStank, jeez! How disappointing.
Dear SpunkyMunky, sorry about last weeks mixup. We get millions of questions each week so a mistake was bound to happen sooner or later.

Do you thinks it's proper to dress dogs??
Yes as a matter of fact I do. There is nothing more uh.. interesting than seeing a Pit Bull stylishly dressed in a nice pink tutu and pumps. It's amazing what you can dare a neighbor kid to do. Get well soon Billy!

If guys spank monkeys, what do monkeys spank?
I think they call it either Jerkin' the John Doe or, slappin' the 'sapien. You may want to contact your local zoologist for more information.

Jason and his questions are finally back! I'm so excited!!! Where has he been the last few weeks? On vacation? Spending all his time thinking up the "perfect question?" You guys have to know, cause you know everything.
Yup, he's back. As to his whereabouts, I think he's spent the last couple of weeks "honing" his monkey spanking skills.

My monitor gave me static cling and now my hair looks like Don King's. What can I do? really need to know.
You should make a nice sombrero out of some Bounce© sheets.

Are you..... yunno...... gay?
-Pinkle Skid-
Do you have..... yunno....... a better question?

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