Did you guys evolve to be floating heads?
-Speed Racer-
Actually, we're not really floating heads, the rest of our body is on the back of this page.
-Spanky-

When you open a bag of cotton balls is the top one meant to be thrown away?
-anonymous-
No, you're supposed to put it back in to keep the other cotton balls from being damaged.
-Spanky-

The weather reporter said to look in the north sky to watch the meatier shower. Do people really shower in meat?
-anonymous-
An old Jewish tradition, "Meat Showering" is generally an all male event, held at the local slaughterhouse. Participants stand under big slabs of beef, while onlookers are invited to pelt them with Lawry's© seasoned salt and smack them with wooden meat mallets. At a predetermined moment, the Head Butcher cuts the cords holding the slabs so the entire group can be clobbered in unison with 1200 pounds of grade a prime cut beef. This ritual is known in most circles as a "Barmeatsvah"
-Sparky-

Why do Belly-Dancers stick jewels in their belly-buttons??
-Bubbles©-
So during the dance, Sheiks can bet on who it'll hit when it pops out.
-Sparky-

Awesome, are you really selling Spanky? I will trade in all my stocks and bonds, empty my piggy bank and sell my extra body parts like a kidney or something to have her. How much? Please let me know, I would even take a second mortgage out on my house.
-Spanky Fan-
Dear Spanky Fan, While I certainly appreciate your fine offer, I just don't know where I'd keep another kidney.
-Sparky-

Sparky- Don't you DARE sell Spanky!!! What, are you NUTS?? She is beautiful, fun loving, intelligent, insightful, courteous, wonderful, and not to mention...cute--I say we cut YOU out of the proverbial web-pie!! I say that you SHOULD loose her!! Let her find a good home with some one who appreciates her efforts and talents...I am forever shamed to be a fan of yours!
-anonymous-
So, (chomp, chomp) How much are you offering?
-Sparky-

I would like to bid 4 of my best sheep, 3 of my best cows, and 2 hens, and my best gal, along with 8000,000,000,000 dollars just to have Spanky as my side partner.
-anonymous-
Can you throw in one of those milking machine things?
-Sparky-

Oh Sparky, I am so excited! YOU ARE TRYING TO SELL SPANKY!! If I bid the highest, can I lock her in my basement? I have been waiting for this day for months! I know this means that you REALLY want me instead of Spanky. I can not wait. I am so excited!!!
-that weird chick that is stalking you... and I know you want me to catch you!!-
Dear Weird Chick, Seeing as Spanky's an onion, I don't suggest keeping her in the basement, she might start sprouting. On second thought, maybe *I* should keep her in the basement.
-Sparky-

Dearest Sparky, In regards to selling Spanky. What do you think you're doing!? Don't you know, cheap help is hard to find. I'll bet you don't pay her either. You big cheap head. Yeah that's what you are, a big old CHEAPHEAD. There, I said it and now I'm calmer. I'd buy her. Thank You!
-anonymous-
That's "Mr. CheapHead" to you.
-Sparky-

Sell Spanky!!! How could you? I can't believe you would even consider the idea! I am appalled! wwwvoice just would not be the same without her! I hope you give this more consideration before you actually just give her away! I will never visit you again if you sell Spanky!
-jbrady pissed off!-
How about if I just rent her out?
-Sparky-

Why would you want to sell Spanky? Where would you be without her? I would buy her in a heart beat, she's so funny and that pink bow!! I really have a thing for onions with pink bows!!
-Signed, Bigger webmaster than you could ever be!-
Did I mention that we have special prices for bigger webmasters than I could ever be?
-Sparky-

I would like to submit my bid for spanky. I'll give ya Eleventy-Bagillion dollars, and a brand new roll of duct tape (grade A, Alabama Chrome) for her! But I'd rather not get the hand puppet as part of the deal...it scares me! Whatdaya think?
-<*}}><-
Dear whatever the hell that name is, Thanks much for your wonderful offer but I've changed my mind. Well actually Spanky changed my mind. With that hand puppet.
-Sparky-

Why did Julia Roberts have two pair of sunglasses on in the "arbitration scene" in My Best Friends Wedding?
-anonymous-
While I haven't actually seen the movie yet, I would venture to guess that one pair was probably on the guys head in front of you in the theater.
-Sparky-

Why is a manhole cover round?
-anonymous-
It keeps the otters out.
-Sparky-