I have recently watched too many episodes of Bewitched on Nick At Nite... How, now do I get my nose to stop twitching???
-Bubbles©-
Dear Bubbles©, First get two popsicle sticks. Put a dab of super glue on the tip of each and shove one up each nostril. Now, tie the sticks to a doorknob, stand back a little, hang some Christmas ornaments on the string, and slam the door as hard as you can. In future, I recommend that you stick to "I Dream of Genie." She wiggles better body parts anyway.
-Spanky-

Spanky/Sparky, I hope it is not to painful for me to point out that you guys seem to be digitally challenged. How do you manage to answer these questions? Do you have a really cool voice recognition program or do you just hunt and peck with your tongues? If so, do you think that Lingual Tunnel Syndrome could be a problem in the future?
-A Fan-
Dear A Fan, While we usually don't answer these questions with our tongue, in your case we'll make an exception; he ho have a thweely thool oice egogniton thistem, so he on't eely hink hingual hunnel thyndrome hill the a hropblem. Thanks thor the thwell thwestion!
-Sparky-

Why does System OS 8 on a Macintosh look just like Windows 95?
- Apple Pie-
It must be because Bill & Steve are a team now.
-Sparky-




I, Snaggletooth, am going to take your advice and build me a brand new butt using those Tupperware thingys and some yummy Jell-O. What flavor Jell-O is best for this?
-Snaggletooth-
Hey! Why not make it a new flavor every day? It could be like a "Mood Butt" or something. You could even add some fruit!
-Spanky-

Why do they have braille on drive thru ATM machines?
-Mark-
So you can read the instructions when the power is off.
-Sparky-

In regards to your Poll page, who are the following? Mr. Spacely, Carlton the Doorman, Sam the Butcher, Mr. Kincade (Ruben)
-Polycarp's Sibling-
In respective order; George's boss, Rhoda's Doorman, Alice's "Stud Muffin" and Shirley's manager. I hope this clears things up a bit. (bwha ha ah ha ha)
-Sparky-

S & S, you have made my day. I made it to the rejected list! Now all I have left to do in life is get this ancient Chinese finger trap off.
-anonymous-
What? You have a little Chinese guy on each hand?
-Spanky-

When some people visit others, they sometimes take 5-15 minutes to hug, kiss and otherwise say good-bye. Why is it they then toot the horn when they finally back their car out of the driveway and drive away?
-anonymous-
They just want to get your stupid dog out of their way.
-Sparky-

Sparky, How much you want for Spanky? I would like to buy her and I will treat her like a Goddess that she is!
-Thinking about Spanky every second of the day-
How much will you give me for her? Keep in mind, you can't return her.
-Sparky-

So, like, what's the history of Sparky and Spanky? When were they born, where, why, etc?
-Tom Rudey Rudey@lynksmith.com-
It all began in this really big field where we were born, we cleverly fought off rabbits by disguising ourselves as rocks. We had a pretty normal tuber upbringing, we escaped from the field by pretending to be paper weights. Unfortunately, during our escape the farmer saw us and put us on his desk next to his computer. We only answer questions at night after everyone is asleep. Watch for the 12 part, made for TV movie on NBC this fall, all about our lives, Alex Haley's Tubers!
-Spanky-

How come my questions are never on the first page? Do you not like me or something? Or do you just feel like making my poor little life miserable? -
-Bubba-
Basically, it's same reason we can't win a Cool Site of the Day award. We're really big snotty webmasters, who like to torture people.
-Sparky-