I love Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy. However, I have come to the realization that he doesn't know I exist. What can I do to get my lumpy, uncooked, muffin lover to notice me?
-simian-
Dress up like a giant finger and poke him.
-Spanky-

What does chicken taste like?
-anonymous-
Not those McNuggets things.
-Spanky-

Do you have a life besides answering these questions?
-just wondering-
Dear Just wondering, When we're not answering these questions we're usually just sitting around hitting each other with ball peen hammers or poking each other with those big foam finger things you get at the ball park, so frankly, answering these questions is probably the most constructive thing we're currently involved in.
-Sparky-

Sparky, What would happen if a Ford Pinto backed into the side of a GMC pickup truck (the kind with the unprotected side fuel tanks)?
-Jason (he's back)-
Big neighborhood weenie roast.
-Spanky-

Sometimes when I am in the back of the classroom making myself happy, the teacher will yell at me and other kids laugh. Is there anything I can do about this?
-The Tomato That is Stalking You-
Dear Tomato, I recommend thinking about baseball.
-Sparky-

Why do the lame questions always get accepted?
-Lamuh-
Before any question is ever accepted here at wwwVOice it must first go through a rigorous selection process. All candidates must score at least a 7 or higher on the Ronco Lamo-Meter ©. The highest scoring questions are then subjected to a 50 foot drop onto a large pile of meatballs, surviving questions are then put on the refrigerator and whichever ones Spitty the lama spits on are then included on the "Questions of the Week" page.
-Sparky-

Could this question please be rejected?
-some guy who likes being rejected-
Although we would like to reject every question we receive here at wwwVOice, yours had quite a lot of spit on it. (see above question)
-Sparky-

Oh right the "Big Butt Extravaganza" lasts *1* week. Do you feel ridiculous now? Oh, wait that's not my question. My question is 'Should I move to the Netherlands' ?
-Cheers Mick-
I think it would be a good idea, because as I understand it their "Big Butt Extravaganza" is two months long, and they have a parade too.
-Sparky-

Spanky, I'm in a probability class, and I was wondering: What is the probability of my being struck down by a bus load of pygmies while riding a hippo on the way to a "Chuck E. Cheeses" in northern Idaho?
-Jason-
About the same odds as having a piano dropped on you in Gary Indiana while giving directions to the tasty-freeze to a garden gnome wearing a hula skirt.
-Spanky-

If you're Polish, and have a cat, does that make it a pole cat?
-pete-
This question reminds me of a toy I had when I was a kid. Mr.Polecathead. The basic idea was that you would poke things into various parts of his body and he would claw your little sister to pieces.
-Sparky-

If people's names really did used to come from their occupations, (i.e. Fred Smith was a blacksmith) then what did John Hancock do for a living?
-pete-
I believe he owned a company that made gloves for roosters.
-Sparky-

Where do you people come up with this funny stuff?
-anonymous-
Who's trying to be funny?
-Spanky-