Ya ever notice how a dog gets mad when you blow in his face..... but if you take him for a ride in the car, he sticks his damn head out the window??
-anonymous-
Here's the deal, the only reason your dog sticks his head out the window is so he can get spit all over your car and get even with you for blowing in his face.
-Spanky-

Why are Sparky and Spanky so gosh darn sexy? And how can I get that style that all women are looking for?
-Jason Lau-
55 gallon drum-o-mousse, stick your head in a salad spinner and... tah-dah!
-Spanky-

Oi ! Is there any reason why I shouldn't cross the road ? Oh, forget it, whatever your answer is, I wouldn't understand it....
-a chicken-
Dear chicken, cluck...cluck...cluck...cluck...cluck, cluck, cluck... bawk.
-Sparky-

If all these people on these psychic 900 number networks are really psychic, why don't they call me? Also, why do they tell me about stuff that already happened, and not what's going to happen? And, Why do they ask if they're right? Finally, What percentage of the population is so degradingly stupid, or is it just the morons that make these commercials?
-<\d morrell>-
Dear d, Actually, I already knew this question was coming, so I had an answer all prepared. Here it is:
I don't know.
-Sparky-

Stanky, What's the deal with those new bracelets that everyone is wearing? Some people say they are made of hemp, and they try to smoke the dang things. I just think they look kind of pretty, but I don't want some cop telling me that I'm carrying some sort of drug on me! So, just what are they made of?
-Sincerely yours, GuessW.-
Dear GW, What was the question again? (puff, puff) By the way, those AOL disks do make a nifty bong!
-Sparky-

Will you answer this question or not? if not, why not?
-i can't think of a clever name or anything, but at least im not some sick stalker or anything like that. and stuff-
I'd like to answer the second question first. The only reason why I won't answer this question is because I actually have answered the question anyway. And in answer to your first question, no.
-Sparky-

Sparky, Where is the Coconut Monkey from?
-Kookaloo Bird-
The elusive and much prized "Coconut Monkey" is indigenous to the gift shops of south central Florida. Although ugly as all hell, they do make fine "revenge" gifts for those close relatives who gave you a Thighmaster© last Christmas.
-Sparky-

Sparky,
I
crazy
glued
my
pinky
to
the
Enter
key.
What
do
I
do?
-Jason-
Dear Jason, Here's what I did. With your left hand grab ahold of your right elbow. Then let it go. Now with your left hand again, rummage in your desk and see if you can find a screwdriver. Pop the enter key off the keyboard, go into the kitchen and lop your finger off with a big knife. (ok, I don't want anybody to actually do this please)
-Sparky-

How come everything my grandmother bakes has big hunks of unmixed baking powder in it? I don't know anyone else who has this affliction....
-anonymous-
My guess is that she's worn out her fifty year old Mixmaster© and she's probably mixing the whole mess up in the footbath you got her last Christmas.
-Spanky-

If I run away from home where do you suggest I go??
-anonymous-
It's usually best to go straight to the fotomat and have your portrait snapped for the milk carton.
-Spanky-