When mixing ingredients to make high explosives, should you add the nitroglycerine before the bonding solution or after?
-The Reverend Jough Approximately-
Invented in 1847 by Swedish engineer Alfred Nobel, Nitroglycerin makes a really loud "bang" when dropped. The order in which to mix the separate ingredients depends on what bonding agent you intend to use and what inert "filler" has been added. The most commonly used filler is sawdust, however I generally prefer powdered sugar, as it makes a huge poofy cloud that really adds to the overall impact of the explosion. With this mixture the preferable bonding agent would be a box of melted Jolly Ranchers©, added after the nitroglycerin. Not to mention, it makes a yummy (and somewhat surprising) after school snack too!
Why do boys have to be such jerks all the time?
Recent genetic studies have revealed the existence of the "Jerk Gene" which is dominant in men, although it does show up in women every 28 days or so.
Why do they call a bobcat a bobcat is the cat's name really bob?
They used to be called Jackasses, but everybody kept getting them confused with Jackasses.
How does it feel to be levitated 50 feet in the air and then having the magician forget about you?
Not nearly as annoying as being halfway sawed in half.
Dog/Cat food sometimes is labeled as "meatier" or "tastier". Who actually tastes this stuff anyway, other than dogs and cats, which couldn't tell us even if it were true?
-"Calvin", of "Calvin and Hobbes"-
Lassie, then she alerts the entire town of the culinary properties and rescues Timmy from the abandoned mine shaft.
I know that if I asked you what the meaning of life is, it would be a long and very technical answer that I would not be able to fully understand. So to make things simple, What is the meaning of Death? (not the dictionary meaning, but the TRUe meaning)
Although I don't claim to be a thanatologist (person that's dead), I believe it means no more taxes, although some of the deceased do continue to vote and collect social security.
What's for dinner tonight?
Some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
If curds and whey spill, what get stain from carpet?
Dear Grogg, Was it a spider?
We would like to ask your opinion on school dress code, and how to avoid a teacher catching you. (We at Collegiate, a private school, have to wear belts in our belt loops collared shirt...etc)
-Two (three if you count Paco, but he is too stupid to count as a human) Collegiate Students from Richmond Va-
While dressing up the entire student body like robots may seem like a good thing, I personally feel it only stifles creativity and individuality. I recommend using one student as a decoy by dressing him or her up in a really loud Hawaiian shirt, some pants that hang down around the knees and one of those "Cat in the Hat" hats. If this doesn't work you could try some sort of a forged note from your mom about religious persecution.
No bowel movements in 2 weeks! Any suggestions?
Dynamite. (see first question)