Why are there no "B" batteries?
-anonymous visitor-
Bees don't need batteries, they eat pollen.
-Spanky-

How does weed killer know the difference between weeds and your prize winning roses? I mean they're both plants.
-AG-
Much like any other hired killer, they're shown snapshots of the victims at the factory.
-Sparky-

Can we impose stiff penalties on people who submit any more questions that pertain to these subjects? Cats/butter/toast, Trees falling in forests, Driving on parkways/parking on driveways.
-Just trying to help-
Unfortunately, recycled humor is not considered a crime in most states (Nevada has a few weird exceptions) so it seems that the law will be of little use here. However I believe there is currently a bill going through Congress that could potentially make knock-knock, guy with no arms no legs and nun/spears jokes carry some sort of a "watch all the Porkys movies" type sentence.
-Sparky-

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
-Spanky-
Only in your wallet.
-Sparky-

I've read how if you drop a cat it will land on its feet and if you drop a piece of bread that has been buttered on one side that it will land buttered side down, but forget that crap. What I want to know is if I were to smear butter on my mother in law's head and push her off of a five hundred foot cliff, will she hit the ground buttered side down. No fair if you tell me that it would be a waste of good butter. By the way, she don't have a cat.
-anonymous visitor-
The real danger here is that if you apply too much butter you may actually cushion the fall, or even worse, she may simply "slide" down the side of the mountain. I would recommend getting a cat and tying it to her head instead. Even if it doesn't work it'll be a lot more fun to watch.
-Spanky-

Sparky,
Please tell me, do you believe in the after life? I must know soon as it may be a matter of life and death.
-Thanks, Doe-
Frankly I'm not sure if there's an after life or not. However, seeing that I'm actually an onion, I do believe in an after taste.
-Sparky-

If you took the whole of Norway, scrunched it up a bit, shook out all the moose and reindeer, and then hurled it three thousand miles around the Earth, would you be wasting your time? Because I think it looks as if someone has already done this.
-someone you'd probably quite like if we met socially-
What the hell are you talking about? Scrunching up any part of the Netherlands is never a waste of time.
-Sparky-

If a fly lost it's wings, would it be then called a walk?
-Just Wondering-
No it would be called a bug.
-Sparky-