Visitor Question Of The Week Archive:
#23 Welcome to wwwVOice's rather disturbing archive.... Enjoy!
Hey! my face. 4/13/97
Responding to the cat\buttered toast question, I think I can answer it for all of us: If you think about it, cats instinctively land on all four feet, while buttered bread lands that way because there is more weight on the buttered side. So, knowing that, here is the answer! The cat would land on all four paws because the bread wouldn't mean anything at all! The cat wouldn't even be able to tell that the buttered bread was strapped to its back!
-A Rocket Scientist-
Dear Rocket Scientist, I believe you may be overlooking some obvious possibilities. Say for example it was a loaf of French bread with lots of butter, and an anorexic cat, this would tip the scales considerably: AC=8lbs FB=8.5lbs, Flip BANG! buttered side down. Or what if the bread was really stale or made of cement (like some of the finer polish ryes) and the cat had no legs, C-L=7.3lbs CB=175lbs, Flip BANG! buttered side down. Of course, I'm no rocket scientist.
-Sparky-

Sparky/Spanky,
Why is it that people have such a hard time telling others to zip their fly when it is down? I mean, all you have to say is "XYZ" or something like that. Also, when those people are finally told that their fly is down, they turn around to zip it up. As if we haven't already seen what the problem is. What's up with that?
-Guess W.-
Dear GuessW, Although this question is difficult for me to answer seeing as I don't actually wear pants, it's probably just that nobody wants you to see their face in case they catch their thingy in the zipper.
-Sparky-

When the Pope gets off the airplane he always kisses the ground. My question is in a country that he really likes does he french kiss the ground?
-anonymous visitor-
Yes, you should see what he does when he absolutely adores the place.
-Sparky-

Hey! my face. Why aren't more elephants in the space program?
-james-
I understand they get too dizzy in that thing that whips around really fast.
-Spanky-

Dear Sparky, I have been pondering the question that the universe is endless. First can this be true? Second, if not, how does it end. Is there a sign that says, STOP DO NOT GO BEYOND THIS POINT! Third, if so, ain't GOD afraid of getting lost out there. Please help me on this one sparkster!!!
-Totaly baffled-
Throughout history many great philosophers have spent (wasted) their entire life pondering this question. Finally in 1872 the great French philosopher "Flaflafla" realized that the universe is really a big piece of blue cloth with little holes poked in it, to prove his claim Flaflafla sailed to Bora Bora and ripped off the "don't remove this tag" tag. Sadly Flaflafla then spent his remaining years in a French prison.
-Sparky-

Have you ever met a Muzac DJ??
-Zepcrazy@aol.com-
Once, at an elevator repairman's convention.
-Spanky-

How many flagella fit on the head of a pin?
-anonymous visitor-
128,356. What do I win?
-Sparky-

If you have an x-ray made, the technician makes you be perfectly still. So, how can Superman use his vision on things in motion?
-Jadie-
Dear Jadie, Get a grip, he's Superman.
-Sparky-

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