Complaints Department
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Some Older ComplaintsNo, we're not doing any snappy comebacks in this part of the archive so get lost! Thanks... Thanks for nothin' Mr. P.I.  Uhm, Spanky's dead, and that sucks. That's my complaint. 
-Sky-Who needs that perky little onionhead anyway? I am just as good as her and have stolen her bow! My evil plot to take over is working BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Now to brain wash Sparky into naming her site PMS (Pretend Me Spanky) -Have an adequate day, Cranky- Don't you have anything better to do? Why don't you reply to these things? -Mr. Applehead - lyngved@prodigy.com- I have plenty of things to do! 1) Find out where Mr. Appplehead lives. 2) Stalk him everyday. 3) Leave death threats on his answering machine. 4) Make him have a nervous breakdown. 5) Move on to next victim. -Cranky- What do I complain about? I have nothing to complain about! I want something to complain about! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Why doesn't anyone give me something to complain about? -freyea@mala.bc.ca- Something to complain about!?! Well now don't we just have the cushy little perfect life! Can't find anything to complain about, I bet if I knocked you up the side of your cushy little head you could find something to complain about. But then again you might just enjoy that too much. -Cranky- The quality of the complaint page is utterly submoronic. Oh yeah. Power to the KEEBLER!! -inflamation@hotmail.com- Excellent submoronic is just what we were shooting for...so what's your complaint?? -I ate the KEEBLER! Cranky- Is it okay if I just complain???? I donīt know on what but pick your favourite complaint and add me to the list of "complainees" OK?? -Andreas.hedberg@nackademin.nacka.se- Sure why not...complain, piss and moan! I have nothing better to do all day than to listen to you people whine! Shouldn't you be working on a dolphin safe tuna net or something useful? -Cranky- Couldn't Sparky have not let Spanky read the Ramen noodle questions? I bet Sparky wanted Spanky dead!DIE SPARKY!!!!! You must have always hated Spanky for the little bit of spotlight that could have been yours!You wanted the spotlight all to yourself!It wasn't enough for you to be the star!So you intentionally showed Spanky the Ramen noodle questions!You could have explained to everyone that Spanky couldn't do the questions because she was allergic to them.But NO,you had to make sure that you would never have to share the spotlight with her ever again!WHATCH OUT ONIONHEADS, SPARKY IS A SHAMEFUL, GREEDY, SPOTLIGHT LOVER THAT WILL KILL FOR IT,AND HE'S NOT STOPPING AT SPANKY!!!HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!!!SPANKY SHALL HAVE HER REVEANGE!!!!!!!!!!!! -JeneeG9@aol.com- Finally someone who sees Sparky for what he really is, an evil spawn who is out to take over the web. He is selfish, wicked, egocentric, hateful, rotten, dislikable...hey I kind of like that in a guy! We should make a great team and head up the Internet Mafia, first order of business will be to place a onion's head in Jeenee's bed BwaHahahahahahaha! -Cranky- This place is a dump! When did you clean your little cardboard stand last? Don't even get me started on how dirty your little Spice Girl is. Do you accept Canadian coins? Thats all I have. -Dominius Mookpiloh- Dear Dominius Mookpiloh (if that is your real name) Hey I know the place is dirty, but do you know how hard it is to get good help now a day?? Let me tell you I have gone through 10 cleaning slave boys in the last two weeks! People just don't take pride in their work anymore, I tell ya! Had to get rid of most of them cause every time they would vacuum or mop they had that plumber's butt crack thing going....gives me the willes I tell ya! Of course we accept Canadian coins that spice tramp will not refuse any monetary pieces! -Cranky- You should put the word 'sex' on your page a lot. That would really attract many sick people using search engines. P.S. I wish that Naked Otters button really worked. A porno page about sea lions would really kick ass. -jacob@prodigy.net- Sex...Sex...Sex is that all you people think about!!! Try thinking about baseball when you are online would ya? What the Naked Otters are gone? I paid good money for them!! sheeesh Heads are going to roll over this little incident! Thanks for bringing it to my attention. -Cranky- I have only one complaint. But now I can't remember it. I guess thats my complaint. "I can't remember." -brad_landers@bigfoot.com- Darn, I was going to yell at you but now you made me forget what I was going to yell at you about. NICE GOING!!!! Hey guess that's what I was going to yell at you about. -Cranky- Your curlers are ugly!!! Don't chuck a psycho over it! -princess_anidia@hotmail.com- Yeah so my curlers are ugly...what of it? Bet your pampered little princess butt never had to curl your own hair or even tie your own shoes!! Don't you have something better to do, like redecorate the castle or something? -Cranky- You're ugly.!!!! -princess_anidia@hotmail.com- Yeah but I have a baseball bat and could our arm wrestle a whimpy princess any day of the week pal!!! -Cranky- I think it is really dumb that Cranky wears five curlers in her hair, when it's obvious that she should use six. -ju_jami@hotmail.com- Yeah you would think those cheapheads Spanky and Sparky could give me the proper amount of curlers! YIKES.... you are not some crazy hairdresser with an onion fetish are you? -Cranky- I would like to complain that the complaint department is too easy to navigate. I didn't get sent on a single wild goose chase!!! -btlcrsr@n-link.com- Well I am sure that those perky little Onionheads Spanky and Sparky did something to screw that up!!! I will check into the matter and heads are going to roll over this one!! Thanks for bringing that to my attention! -Cranky- My head hurts. -name withheld- A nickel is entirely too small to take up adequate space in a Spice Girl's genital area. You need something larger-- like a bulldozer. -spicegirlexboyfriend@wanker.com.uk- I want to see Cranky clock some sorry-assed bastard (like my big jerk neighbor) upside the head. What's up Cranky? Not cranky enough, Cranky? Gimme that %$!#@ bat! -simian- why is it that cheese in a can only comes in cheddar!?!? -eison@usa.net- Why do the birds scream everytime I cough her name? -darklord@jough.com- Where is your decency, soldier!!??!? I told you I wanted to see my face shining in that floor by morning!! Do you need a BIGGER toothbrush?!? TOO BAD, SCUMBAG!! When I was a chunky little private, our Drill Sergeant didn't give us toothbrushes!! He whizzed on the floor and mopped it up with our heads!! You scrawny-ass, momma's-boy, greenhorns get everything handed to you on a silver platter!! Well, I'm here to stop it!! You better get your sorry, spoiled ass in gear, boy, or you'll be on Mess Hall Detail for a month!!! I can't stand you pissin', and moanin' 24-7, you little girlie!! When I was a private, you never heard me bitch or whine!!! If our Sergeant told us to flash a busload of nuns, by God, we'd do it!! Or else he'd have us march 30 miles into town on the coldest day of the year, butt-nekid, with 80-lb packs!! Would you like that, you sorry excuse for a man?!!?! My grandma scrubs floors faster than you!!! Just last week she had all of Barrack 9 scrubbed ! and polished by 0100, with a toothpick!!! I'd kick your ass right now, if it wasn't such a waste of GODDAMN BRAIN POWER!!!! I want this floor clean by 0400, or YOUR ASS IS GRASS, AND I'M THE LAWNMOWER!!!! No offense. -Captain Pyro- you need a section where you make a song, and your veiwers can add a line, and for a whole month just keep adding lines then post it. (and do it to the tune of yanky-doodle! -Wire_Rat@hotmail.com- com on guys! if you do it ill come up with the first line! it'll be fun! i dare you!!! no! i double dare you!! no better! i dog dare you! still gonna try to back down?!! not a chance! i double dog dare you! now if you back down you will become known as coward and wimp onion head! -yanky-doodle dude again!- I don't like the Spice Girls! -not neccessary!- I don't have any complaints.. just taking up some more of your time! :^) -Vanessa- your site is about as humorous as bubble gum machine in a lock jaw ward !? -bclinton@whitehouse.gov- How come your "questios of the WEEK" are the same for years?!?! -name withheld- Hey! These aren't 'fresh' complaints! They all look pretty stale to me! Cranky, are you planning on posting new complaints BEFORE the new millennium, or what? Geeze! -simian- Cranky and Sparky suck. Spanky rules! -JeneeG9@aol.com- I work with an assortment of European and Asian engineers everyday. For me this takes all the fun out of your Budd Ugly web pages. Would you please change those pages that they are at least a little worse than the English skills demonstrated by the worlds engineering community? -Me@WeBringGoodThingsToLife(ButMostOfThemDieRightAway)- I question the validity of Jough's title of Reverand. H E L L , it's not like he's Al Greene or something. I would like to know how someone like Jough gets off calling himself a Reverand. I think maybe his caffiene intake is a bit high. He is long~winded and yells alot. W A Y ~ W A Y ~ T O O ~ M U C H. (as a matter of freakin' fact) He rambles on and on and on and on and on... Like he knows we don't really wanna sit here and scroll through the entirety of his babblings; but we H A V E to, just in case he says something funny. Er... uh... well... -ByGollyImDense@duhshit.com- My tummy hurts -baby lou- OH MY GOD THEY KILLED SPANKY!!!! YOU BASTARDS!!!! -name withheld- Here's a complain for you: your complain page doesn't work! it gave me some cheap-*** excuse about "forms.max.net" not having a DNS entry! Boy, it's almost as if you guys buggered it up on purpose so people couldn't send complaints, or something hey, wait... Hey, not bad. Think I'll try that on my page. -RAVEN- More, older complaints |